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tess

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Posts posted by tess


  1. Ginny,

    I am so sorry, I hope you are ok. I know you were with him every step of the way, just like I was with my husband. I hope the days ahead will not be to hard on you. He is not suffering anymore. God Bless and give you strength. He sure fought a long hard battle. So sad for you. :cry:

    Tess


  2. I am so sorry, my husband went thru the same things he is going thru. All I can say is that you need to be real with him, if he feels he is dying and if everyone can just let him know how much they love him and acknowledge that, it is so much easier for them ( and him). He will know its ok and that hefought a hard and long battle, but its time to surrender to God and trust in him to keep is promise that he will always be with him. My husband was scared to let go. I told him about 36 hours before he died that if he wanted to go to just go towards the light, and you know what happened? He opened his eyes and looked straight up for about 5 seconds and then closed his eyes again. I know he saw heaven waiting for him, he just didn't want to leave. So I had to reasure him it was ok to go. That was the last time he opened his eyes. So he finally just let go and let God. Peace be with your family.

    Tess


  3. Joni,

    I am feeling so much the same as you. I know someday it will get easier. I just wish is was sooner than later. I feel such an emptiness inside, Like someone ripped my heart out. I know he is with God and so is my husband. Your husband was 6 years younger than mine, and I know my husband was way too young to have to die. We can't understand the meaning of all this right now, but someday God will reveal it to us when get get to heaven. In the meantime, life sucks! :cry: God Bless you and that little boy. Robert is watching over you..............

    Tess


  4. Well, I am not really looking forward to tomorrow. it will be our 3rd anniversary. We had so much fun that day. We went to Las Vegas 3 yrs ago tonight. I won $1200.00 before we came home! :D It was Rob's 1st and only marriage, which I thought was amazing considering he was 46 years old! He said he was waiting for the right woman to come along, and we finally found each other. Actually we first met 28 years ago, and I was already married and had 2 daughters. He was not ready to settle down then! He admits that. He had a lot of wild oats so sow.

    Anyway, we met again after my divorce 6 years ago, and we were both ready then (for happiness). He was such a kind and loving and caring person. I miss him so much. Its only been 18 days. Sometimes, I just start crying and cant stop for a while. I guess the pain will lessen with time. Right now, I can't sit still and relax or even think straight. I don't like living without him! :cry: Oh gosh, here I go again getting all teary eyed. Damn! I have to take sleeping pills or I can't sleep. I am trying to run the business (remodeling) without his help, its overwhelming wondering if I will make it. I thank God for 2 great employees who are keeping me going. When my grandkids get back to school I am going to get more involved in the work part of the business. I think that will help a lot.

    My daughter made a powerpoint presentation for me(with music) that is so great! Pics of Rob from birth on up to his death. It makes me cry to watch it but I know that Rob would (and does) love it! Anyway, enough is enough. I need to go to bed and try to sleep. I just have to pray to God for strength to keep on keeping on. God Bless everyone, and thanks so much for being here.

    I haven't been here much lately but I just can't stay away for too long. You are all in my prayers,

    Tess


  5. I think its amazing that you knew to look for him when you were. Its as though someone was telling you to find him. (God or angels or??) I wish you could've found him before he passed. Our souls get connected when we don't even realize it! So amazing! I'm sorry you feel so bad, but its neat to know that something told you to look for him. It gives me hope about faith in God. (I hope I am making sense to you?!) :roll:

    Tess


  6. Vicoden won't touch his kind of pain. Doctors! They should know better, they seem to be afraid to give someone better pain meds, but why ? Ask for oxycontin at least. it will help. Then the patch if it keeps getting worse. Cancer patients should not have to deal with so much pain. :cry:

    tess


  7. I'm so sorry he has so much pain. Its too bad the Dr's don't seem to want to find out in a hurry and do something! It is so frustrating to say the least. I hope the patches are working for him. My husband ended up taking 400's of the patches! Now thats a lot, but the bone pain is the worst. I am so sad for your good friend. :cry:

    Tess


  8. Joni,

    I am also starting to go thru some wierd emotions and sad sad moments. I am ok one minute, then I can start bawling a the drop of a hat. I just start thinking about Rob and how I miss him so and my stomach gets all tied up in knots, I can't sleep at night and its driving me crazy! I am going to see my Dr tomorrow about getting some anti-depressants. I have never taken them before but I think I need something. I can't eat much and I have lost 10 lbs, and I can't afford to lose more, everyone is noticing I have lost weight. I don't want to be a wuss but I need to get some help. I have just lost my best friend and lover and its so hard. I need to get away soon, but I have to get things in order first. I do take care of my 5 & 7 year old grandkids during the day until school starts, which does help keep me busy. I just wish I could feel normal again. Maybe someday, I know its going to take some time. I feel a lot of what you just said and I know that we are normal, it is just so hard to accept. Take care and just keep talking things out and it will get better someday! :?


  9. Joni,

    Glad you went, I am going to go on a trip soon myself. Tomorrow is my Robert's memorial. I hope then I can sleep at night without a pill. I think I will go to San Francisco for a few days. Never been there, and I've always wanted to go. So I am! Hope you are doing ok now. Welcome back. :)

    Tess


  10. Why should the Dr care if you work or not??? He is a jerk. Makes one wonder what's in it for him???? :x

    By the time SS approved Rob to get disability, it was two weeks before he died. They said he would be eligible for Disability in Sept. and get a check mid Oct. OH yeah, they really care don't they? They also said that if he was do die even on the last day of the month, (which he did, on July 31st) that I would have to send the check back they would send in October. What is up with our government anyway? It is our own money we pay in and they tell us when, how much and IF we can have it. I will never see a dime of it, sad to say. Theres something wrong with this picture!! :roll: I sure hope things work out for you! God bless and take care...

    Tess


  11. Bean,

    I hope you are doing ok? You are not a complainer, and I know that things are weighing heavy on you. Have you got someone there to talk to other than the pup? I think about you often. Take care, I pray for God to help you in your time of need. It seems that you are a very spiritual person and very strong. God is with you!

    Tess

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