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Posts posted by tess

  1. The bone scan will show up as a bright spot if cancer is there. If its too small, it won't show up yet, but with as much pain as he has, it probably will. I am so sorry he has to suffer so, my Rob suffered so much too. Hopefully he can get the pain under control and the constipation. I am praying for him hard. Poor Guy :cry:


  2. I am so sorry that she has to go thru this. My husband's case is a lot like hers. :cry: He didn't have surgery. The gemzar shoud be admin. fairly quick because the sooner, the quicker the sting goes away. Not an hour and a half! what misery. It just breaks my heart to hear of her pain. I am so sorry........... :cry: May God help her.


  3. Jesus

    Jesus Is Enough For Me

    When my life on earth is through,

    In Heaven GOD I want to live with you.

    It is not the streets of gold I want to see,

    but your Holy Son who died for me.

    It is not the mansions or the Angel band;

    it is the nail scars in JESUS' hands.

    It is not the beauty of Heaven's miles,

    It's the voice of JESUS saying

    "Welcome Home My Child".

    JESUS is all I will ever need

    to carry me through eternity.

  4. When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

    When tomorrow starts without me and I'm not here to see,

    If the sun should rise and find your eyes and filled with tears for me.

    I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,

    While thinking of the many things you didn't get to say.

    I know how much you love me, as much as I love you;

    and each time that you think of me, I'll know you miss me too.

    But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,

    that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand.

    And said my place was ready in heaven far above,

    and that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

    But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,

    For all my life I'd always thought I didn't want to die.

    I had so much to live for and so much yet to do,

    It almost seemed impossible that I was leaving you.

    I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,

    I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.

    If I could relive yesterday, I thought for just awhile,

    I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.

    But then I fully realized that this could never be,

    For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.

    But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home,

    When God looked down and smiled at me from His great golden throne.

    He said" This is eternity and all I've promised you;

    Today for life on earth is past but here it starts anew.

    I promise no tomorrow but today will always last,

    And since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past.

    But you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true,

    Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn't do.

    But you have been forgiven and now at last you're free;

    So won't you take my hand and share your life with me?"

    So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart;

    For every time you think of me, I'm right here in your heart.

  5. My husbands first bone scans didn't show anything, but cancer is wierd. It can hurt before it will show up on a scan. then all at once it will start hurting. Radiation works great for the pain, but it takes a few days before you feel it. Get it checked out asap so you won't have to be in pain long. Bone pain is the worst thing in the world! Good luck to you and God be with you also. :)


  6. Just want to tell everyone here that Rob passed away peacefully at 3:30 this morning with me and his wonderful brother holding his hands. The full moon was shining thru the window on him. He was very comfortable and had told me he wanted to go in his sleep. He did and now he is in heaven with my sister and has no more pain. Praise God! Thanks so much for all the prayers and thoughts. It was so helpful for me to have so many people praying and caring. Thank you, I will send a link for the obituary asap. God bless you all.


  7. Thank you for all the kind words and prayers. Yes, I have his family, mom and dad live next door, and his brother is 5 min. away. They are great. Rob was blessed with a loving family that cares so much. They treat me like their own daughter. They were so happy when we got married just 3 years ago. This was to be Rob's first and only marriage. They were happy that he finally found happiness. This is my second marriage. I have 3 grown daughters from my first marriage. Although I met Rob 29 years ago, I guess it wasn't meant to be for us to be together until 1998. Rob is such a great guy that even my ex-husband likes him! He had so many people come last week and tell him what a great friend he is to them. He was and is loved by so many because he is such a caring and kind and loving man. I guess God needs him up there...


  8. Rob is now on 400Mg Duragesic patch, and the liquid morphine, and ativan for anxiety. He is not awake much, beause when he is, he has pain. So he sleeps pretty much all the time. He is ready to meet the Lord and I can't blame him, although its so hard to let him go. I know I have to, he will be happy and have no more sorrow or pain in heaven. Its only a matter of God's timing now.... I wonder if he will make it to his birthday, which is Sunday August 1st. He will be 49, way to young to die. It so unfair and my heart aches so bad. :cry: Thanks for all the support out there and God be with us all.


  9. All I know is that pain does tend to bring people closer to God. When there is no relief, God is the only hope left to help us. My husband was in so much pain last week, we were praying so hard for God to take his pain away. He was begging and finally it has subsided to the point that it can be controlled somewhat.(with meds) Since then, Rob's legs have given out, he is now bedridden waiting to die and go to God. He is ready to go now, and he is asking God to take him. He feels at peace now so he wants to go. We now have to be patient and wait for God's timing.......


  10. Valerie,

    I am so sorry for your pain, my husband has the bone mets. I know they are very bad. He has the Durgesic patch(started at 75mg now up to 175mg!) plus 120mg of Oxycontin pain meds. It is a lot but at least he is now out of pain. He is paralyzed now and can't walk. We can't get him in a wheelchair because of the spine mets hurting so bad. If you can, get the 3D radiation on your bone mets. It will really alleviate the pain after a few doses. It will make a big difference. Good luck and God Bless.


  11. The navelbine is bad stuff, they try to put it in fast so it doesn't burn where the IV is. It leaks thru the vein and it will get red and inflamed. It made Rob feel really bad. His legs swelled up and it nauseated him too. Hope Lucy does better than he did. :( Good Luck and God Bless Lucie!


  12. The MRI is the best picture to see what is going on there, from what our Dr. says. Then a bone scan. Bone mets can come on very quick. My husband had pain so severe in his hip/lower back area and it wasn't even big enough to see yet! The sooner he's checked the sooner the treatment can start. It seems to take forever before anything is done, and by then the pain is so bad. Please tell them that time is of the essence!


  13. Well, the home care nurse came, did an evaluation on Rob and thinks I make a pretty good nurse. :wink: I upped his pain patch 25mg because of the excrutiating pain, it has seemed to help. He also is taking neurotin for nerve pain. Rob has the spine mets, and the pain was really bad. He seems to be really comfortable for now... unfortunately, he is unable to walk anymore. His legs are numb and no feeling left. He barely made it to the toilet with the help of a walker and myself. It took a lot out of him to do this, and he has decided its not worth it.

    He can't really control his bladder anymore or his BM. So I went and bought some depends and pads and I told him not to worry, I have wiped a lot of bums in my day and I don't mind at all.

    His stomach is bloated and I think its just water retention, but I need to have the nurse check it out on Monday, we haven't had his liver checked for quite a while, I hope there's not cancer there too.

    I would rather have him here with me than in a nursing home. He is a lot better now is his hospital bed here at home. Its right next to my bed and we are still in our bedroom together.

    He has had a lot of people (mostly family) coming to see him and its makes him feel very loved. Rob's mom and dad are 80 and 85, they live next door to us and are great. Mom brings over dinner and they read the bible with us and are here whenever we need them. So we both feel really blessed and are starting to accept the fact that God is going to take him soon and we can't do anything about it. I dont' know if he will make it to our 3rd anniversary. (august 18th) :cry:

    I just keep telling him I love him and he tells me he loves me too. He also says he is so sorry for putting me thru this, and I say to him I am honored that I am the one who is taking care of him. He is wonderful man, and he has helped so many people, including me, my kids, his employees, my sister who died in our house of breast cancer two and a half years ago. He took my daughter and her two kids in and helped them too. Sorry, I just keep rambling on, I guess I just want everyone to know what a special man I am married to. I guess its true, that the good die young. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I got it all out without crying! :) Tess

  14. Lillyjohn,

    You are so right. I have found a strength within myself that I never knew existed. We both have prayed for God to take the pain away and now Rob is ready to meet his maker. My husband is now on his deathbed and its so hard to watch. I love him so much, and I will do anything I can to help him until God takes him from me. It is so hard to let go, but I know he will be happy again when God takes him. May God Bless You so much.


  15. Washington state used most of the money we got for the "general fund". What makes me mad, is they put out stupid commercials on how some people try to quit smoking by taping their mouths shut, or carring around an automatic sprinkler that goes off when a guy lights up, and it sprays the woman next to him. She slaps him and walks off, then the announcer says. "there are easier ways to quit" call 1-800-blah blah blah. Like there is supposed to be something funny about trying to quit smoking? That's about how our money was spent. We don't even see those commercials anymore. So who says that we wanted to settle with the tobacco companies anyway? Big tobacco companies do what ever they want, and it makes me sick that our government lets them get away with this. :evil:


  16. Tee,

    Yes Tbone and Rob do have a lot in common, unfortunately. We are getting set up with the care too, and Rob is not giving up either. Although it doesn't look good right now, maybe if they can get rid of the pain, they can feel more like eating and fighting with a better frame of mind. It is so hard to watch, it just breaks my heart. :cry: Wish him our best. I told Rob about Terry and that he was not the only one going thru this. He just shook his head. We think about him often. Take care,


  17. Hi Everyone,

    Another sad turn of events here too :cry: Rob is having so much pain now that its become unmanageable. We need help. He is also now using a walker, he started having neuropathy Saturday. His back is hurting and I'm sure the spine mets have something to do with it also. He quit the Iressa as of yesterday. We don't need a CT scan to tell us its not working. The pain is doing that. So we are waiting for a call back from Home health care, a step away from hospice. :cry: He justs wants to be pain free. We were up half the night last night, he was in so much pain. It is so sad to see him going thru this monstrous disease! He is finally accepting the fact that God will take him home soon and we can't do anything about it. He does want to try another chemo, not sure yet if he will even be able to go get the radiation now. I just pray for God to give him peace. Like Mo said, "let go and let God" and that's about all we can do now. Thanks to everyone for your prayers. I'll keep everyone posted.

    I do have 3 Iressa pills left. If someone is on it, and doesn't have any insurance, let me know by PM and I will send it to them.


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