Annette

Judy you were getting up as I was trying to get to sleep. Now I am waiting for the kid to get his self presentable so we can go see my mom and go to the grocery store - - no I am not going to buy him strings for his guitar or take it to fix the switch he broke ($450 plug in guitar). Grr. Wow why does he wear a C-Pap? My mom had one of those on in the hospital. (Doesn't the vacuum make a high almost whining noise - it might be fun to run that at the appropriate headache time.) Eric - I think you should share some of your good times. I mean I could dress up like a cow girl. I can't sing worth a plug nickel but I could wait on tables or something. I just want to go out and have some fun. Wait a minute I see something in my mind through the smog - July - something about July - something about learning about Virginia history with a friend - and is that a skirt he's wearing - - I must be mixing up my dreams... LOL... Is it July yet? Judy (Between KW & Orlando) - I think the hat is just where you are going - you are almost done with the oxygen - getting better. Think about how much your body had to go through over the last weeks - not just the cancer junk - but the family and the stress of going up quickly for one and then the stress of knowing you couldn't go up. Give your mind some time - cause it is fighting two battles right now - and wow - I think I will have to mull this advice over because my mind is working on several things too. We deserve a nap! When we are young - sleep is when we grow - now that we are 29 sleep is when we recharge our batteries to face whatever is thrown at us. Judy MI - what's a little surgery - compared to what you have overcome over the last few months with R. Piece of cake! Miss Lilly - I hope you got all your errands out of the way if you are expecting storms. I have no idea what the weather is doing (other than hot hot hot). (Did anyone sing that - again - hot hot hot). I know I'm down but I'm trying to drag myself out of this "funk" so I can find something positive - and that is why I come here and read about my friends - and get to smile for a few minutes. I'm off - to the store - I may buy myself something useless! Annette

I have let the day slip by - thinking that I would not even post today. I was happy to hear from Judy (KW to Orlando) as she was traveling up to Orlando. Hard to believe she is still on the oxygen as good as it was to hear her voice. I was on the way to see my mom - who is still in rehab but doing so very much better. Her O2 stats dropped a little yesterday but she has been exercising several times a day and says that she is still a little wobbly but for the most part better. I am thinking they will keep her another week at least. So at least I had one good day. Or was it only 1/2 a day. After having such a good evening with the kid, such good conversations following a trip to his school Thursday to talk to his administrator about the in school suspension he got for "sneezing on a student" - I defended the twerp for 30 minutes and even told the man about the kid that I thought he should watch because he was the one that supplied my nephew with drugs. So the administrator was to call me Friday - after investigating the sneezing incident. When he called me Friday afternoon - and said - I really hate to tell you this - but the kid is being arrested for drinking on school grounds - I said you are kidding - no and I have to ask you to come and get him. The same kid gave him vodka and mountain dew - and he blew a .08 on the breathalyzer - and the other kid did not of course. So crying all the way there - I was shocked that the police officer was writing up a citation for court and they were releasing the kid to me. I said why can't you take him - this is a violation of his probation. I had spent the morning finding a program that costs $450 for a male mentor to go with him to NA meetings for a year. I called his substance abuse counselor and she said he still has to graduate Monday and we need to discuss the fact that insurance really only authorized 20 meetings and he has gone to 30. I called his probation officer thinking she would be sending an officer to pick his little behind up for violating probation - nope - see you at our meeting on June 14th and we will see what a judge says at the hearing in July. Can someone stop this ride I have obviously overstayed my welcome. And I only read 3 or 4 articles on stress causing cancer. Yep I am looking forward to the xray results on Monday - (which is at the same time I have to have the kid at counseling). Oh - and the probation officer said the kid has to be under my supervision at all times. (In order for my mom to watch him she has to go in and sign something for the probation officer, sigh). And he has been so happy and hyper today - I let him go next door to get his guitar. He came in my room and said he was going to take a shower (? - aliens invaded his body?) - so 20 minutes later I went out - shower still going - his bedroom door locked, I pick the lock and there he sits - on the computer for which I have the power cord in my room - and the water is running in the bathtub. Sigh - at least his drug of choice was youtube instead of smoking something. I apologize for writing so much - I talked to my friend in Texas for 5 hours last night on the phone - about nothing - I finally fell asleep as the sun came up - but I needed to not think about anything for a while. I hope everyone is having a much better weekend than I am. Annette

Teresa, What an awful way to find out - and how sad that you have to be welcomed back to the site. Of course, I am not by any means an expert but I can share my thoughts based on your description. (I would also suggest that you ask the same thing over at cancergrace.org where an oncologist will respond from their perspective.) You said the nodule was only 1 cm - which to me is relatively small. Although the pathology was positive for cancer you did not indicate if the "margins" were clear. If the surgeon cut the nodule out and included in the cut sufficient lung around the tumor then I think this might be considered something like a wedge. So I would think that the wait and see would be sound advice. If they got it all after your mom has healed and is rescanned nothing will show - if they didn't then they might consider going in again and your mom will know what to expect from the Vats surgery perspective (which I had done twice - so I agree with your mom - ouch!). You have been there as a caregiver with your dad and it sounds like you know all the right things to be aware of - and you can always ask here. I'm sure others will weigh in on your question - in the mean time - I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers. Annette

Ok - where is everyone - this is a special day - it's Friday. I know we have to make it through the day and truly I really do intend to work but there are several things that I need to do first. I have to call and see if I can break my mom out of rehab to go to the nephews intensive substance abuse counseling graduation Monday. I have to make sure I know exactly how long it will take me to get to the train station to pick Eric up on time in July - - I may even practice that one. I went out to dinner with a friend and we had just finished eating and were getting ready to leave and Eric called. Yep that's right I got to talk to Eric. (He said I had an accent - which is really very funny because I thought he had an accent too.) As always - I am in a rush at work to get busy - - I think I may be feeling a headache coming on about lunch time - yes I'm even a little pale - now where did I leave that beach towel - I mean I may need to lie down (no sense staying inside when I can do it on the lounge chair at the apartment - right). Annette

Pure poetry. I reread this post several times. Even realizing that some of my issues, behaviors and thoughts were stress related made me feel good for a moment. Now all I need to do is find avenues that I can take to honestly reduce the stress and still accomplish the things that are necessary to sustain the people that are relying on me. I think that the forthrightness of your post might make some people realize that at some point continuing to allow those in your care to put straws on the camels back will eventually break that back. Thank you Judy for a very thought provoking post. Annette

Wonderful news - - makes the day brighter to get that kind of phone call - - good thing there are cordless phones or you might have been tangled up after doing the happy dance. Congratulations, Annette

Hi Alan - My sister died in Sept 2003 of Hep C - she was in and out of jail for many years - all drug related incidents. So that is why my mom got guardianship of him. He went and stayed with his dad for several months when he was 6 I think - until his dad sent him back to visit us - and then said Marco had to stay cause he had to go to jail - also drug related. So this behavior is not totally unexpected it's just that background - plus being male - plus being a teenager - he just doesn't have a thing going for him right now. Now - let me see ..... www.boyscouts.com

Good morning all, another hot and muggy day here in Richmond - I believe they are calling for showers later - I could certainly do without that. I am still totally exhausted - these weeks are hard on me with no back up for the kid and he is very aware I'm at the end of my rope. It's like a tiger stalking it's pray - he knows when I'm about to blow up and he just pops off some randomly stupid funny joke that makes me laugh so hard I forget that I was ready to research special knot tying techniques..... how do you make that noose thingy and where would I put it and how exactly am I gonna trick that boy into using it. I may have a few unanswered questions but the plotting puts a smile on my face. My mom is still in rehab - she said something about doing "reaching" up exercises - I want her to be doing get off your butt and walk exercises. I have removed all food from her house that is not on a recommended diabetic's eating list. (She will not be pleased - but come on - how different can a rice cake be from a recees peanut butter cup - they must be close right.) LOL - as I reach for a Dove chocolate. And truly I'm not eating them for me - my cat loves to steal the little rolled up pieces of tin foil and play with them. (I hope no one remembers that I am at work right now - so the cat playing with the wrappers is really not relevant.) That rots about the parking ticket Eric - and I sent you a PM with my phone numbers so I'll talk to you soon. Lilly, I hope you get your shopping done before the storms hit. The weather on this coast has been pretty unpredictable too. I hope you don't have to keep your car on ice for long - something good is bound to happen for all of us! Bud - check up - LOL - I hope the tread on your tires meets inspection - there was more but I was laughing too hard and I didn't want anyone to spit their coffee out while reading the Air. Judy - (KW) - where are you. I hope that you are feeling better - when is the trip up happening? Looks like even though I am tired and waiting for xray results (Monday afternoon) I still have a little bit of humor popping up - I may be feeling better - oh wait - I'm at work - this rots - I better run and turn a little work on - check back in a while. Annette

I was thinking - that something has flipped - Lillian I think I can speak for most Virginians....if you would be so kind as to take let's say 10 degrees - it would be perfect walking temperature for you and perfect breathing temperature for us. Now how can we do this - there just has to be a way. Annette

It's a good thing some of us feel better while the others are being bashed about on the rocky road. I was feeling pretty darn good this beautiful (but hot) morning. I dragged the kid with me to go get the 3 month xray (results on Monday). Then dropped him off at school (yes a little early but tough - get a book - read - relax). Then my neighbor calls and says she saw him walking out the back of the school by the buses. Sigh. I called him and he told me he was in class and had to go - nope I say - I know you were out by the forest 2 minutes ago - gotta go my phone is almost dead. So we will have another head bashing ceremony tonight it looks like. Of course, he forgets that I have to call the school about his lost computer - wow is that an interesting... story...(lie).... Right after he stole and totaled my mom's car last November he skipped school for a week. Turns out he had "hidden" his bookbag in the woods beside our apartments. Of course the next week when he went to retrieve said bookbag the computer was totally demolished. He reported it stolen to the school - and the Administrator was going to replace it as soon as possible - still hasn't been replaced. I am not fond of the Administrator. Here's a "good" story for you. Keith's ex-Mother-in-Law has tested fate twice in the last few months. Several months ago they said "you have lung cancer" - did the bronchoscopy, no cancer - said let's wait and see. The "cancer" has grown 20%. (One doctor says it's an infection and one says its a tumor.) So yesterday she went under the knife - they actually went in by the esophagus and pulled the tumor out - it was not cancer. Lucky lucky lady. We have turned the page on another month - and the next time we do Eric will almost be in America. I am more excited every day (partly cause he is coming and partly cause I'm taking of work to have some fun)! Eric - Texas is a huge state - truckers hate to drive across it on Interstate 10 because it feels like you will never get from one side to the other. I grew up near San Antonio in New Braunfels - what used to be a little German town is now a booming tourist trap (at least when the rain keeps the rivers running). I talked to my best friend from 3rd grade the other night for 3 hours remembering silly stuff - Sometimes I miss "home." Well this girl better get busy - it is already 9 a.m. and not a lick of work done yet. I'll check back in later Annette

Judy - you have gone through about enough lately - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family everyday. Please know that I am always here if you need a shoulder to lean on or a ear to listen. {Hugs} Annette

It was 93 degrees when I finally got us out the door to go visit mom. I spent all of 5 minutes in the room with her before she said something nasty and out I walked and told nephew to come in 15 minutes. So he and this large woman come up to me and she says she is the social worker and my mom wants to be released so we need to have a meeting regarding aftercare. I am still so angry with her that I said well lets see I work tomorrow then have to take him to and from counseling, I work Wednesday, I work Thursday and have to take him to counseling and I work Friday and one of those mornings I have to work in an x-ray - so you just go ahead and have a meeting with that mean old witch and have her call and leave a message when I have to work in picking up her mean self. I am having a peaceful moment since the neighbor and her family are out at the pool I let the nephew go - that should tire him out. No barbecue for me but I'm putting some stuffed pork chops in the oven. I need a vacation. Annette

Nylons - poor Judy - I am sitting at my desk in a tee shirt and blue jeans! I don't even own a dress anymore - but I can see myself out by the pool in shorts later. Yep that's a good place to be. I found a new think at walmart that I am itching to try it's a daiquiri in a tube - yummm. It has been a very long couple of weeks for me - I'm not ready to address the Keith issue just yet. But I'm guessing if you know the details of my family right now you can figure it out. My mom and I have a really good love / hate relationship. She acts terrible when she stops taking her medications. I have turned over a new leaf - when she starts being rude to me - I walk away - she may not be trainable but I don't have to hear it. After we left her at the rehab facility I ran up to the hospital to try and get her clothes. Imagine my surprise when the her last name tag was still on the door - I thought cool they haven't even cleaned it up - -- wrong - there was a nice little lady in there that I begged to let me look in her closet - the clothes were gone but she was still so sweet. We went up the the nurses station and eventually got the clothes. When we walked by the room I wished her the best of luck and she had the sweetest smile - I was wondering if I could trade models - (well they had the same last name). Oh - the first thing I thought when Judy mentioned that she may get to lose the oxygen after her appointment next week - was - no more Judy in KW - it can be Judy (No Strings Attached). Smile, laugh, giggle!!! Anyway - I have some work to do before an afternoon conference call - but my brain is chanting... Friday, Friday, Friday!!!

Pneumonia not good - but losing your cords will be great - now you know you will feel better soon! My mom was moved to a rehab facility and I am not impressed. When we walked in the receptionist was on the phone - finally hung up and we asked what her room number was - she whispered her reply - something in the central wing. Okay - will someone else show us where that is, no response, then "sign that book behind you" - I did not know that behind you meant around the corner - there is a map on the wall of the place - found room on own. There was a constant beep..beep..beep..beep - turns out when patients ring their call bell it rings that loud - day and night - and there are only 3 workers for over 36 patients - lovely. Best part of the visit was the rotten little teenager and mom get to talking and the next thing I know I caused her heart attack. I just got up and left - I'm pretty much at the end of the rope. But that's okay - she called this morning at 7:15 to tell me to bring her another pair of glasses because the ones I brought her keep falling off. Oh - looky here duct tape. And I haven't even left for work yet - sigh. Dawn - it is so very very nice to see you in the air - what a good Friday surprise. Annette

Sara - Just glad to see you check in. I hope you not only supervise the activities but let your family take care of you a little. Getting to throw that ball out should be fun - please take care and don't over do though. Hopefully you will be rested up and ready to party by then. I sure do hope that you find some relief for not only any pain but the lovely nausea that goes with the chemo. Vicious circle - but all we want are good results! Annette

Judy (MI) your bird story reminds me of what happened when my mom was living in Texas. I was visiting many years ago and you had to go out side on the patio to .... sit out there and read .... She had hanging plants everywhere and was even growing catnip for her cats. So I'm going outside to read every hour and this little bird (finch I think) is steady trying to build a nest in the catnip plant. I take the started nest out and go back inside - just to repeat it when I go back out an hour later. Then I left the patio for a good night's sleep - only to discover that little bird completed the job and had already laid 3 eggs. - - I couldn't take that out. -- So every year for the next 3 or 4 years some bird would nest in the catnip plant. I remembered this story last night after marco filled one of the cat toys with catnip. My cat is a good toy player but boy did we have fun watching him with the fresh catnip. Annette

Would have sworn I wrote something in the air - hmm - I may need a vacation. It is a gorgeous day - if you like it in the 90s. (For the most part I do - except for it being too hot.) Judy - I hope everything goes right at the doctor's appointment - and I am wishing you and everyone here a nice relaxing and/or fun filled long weekend. I am thinking about dragging the kid to the Pirates movie in 3D - expensive but a treat is a treat. Eric - I hope you managed to get a few things down on paper before you had to leave for your party. Based on some of your stories I am betting that you are pretty good "off the cuff" so having it written down is just a piece of paper to hold on to. I am having a very full day of work - then I get to take the kid to his counseling session. Then we will go and visit my mom at the Rehabilitation Facility - yep - she called and the doctor okayed the trip. I have no clue how long she will have to stay there - I hope long enough for them to find all her marbles since I think some are either missing or a little loose. (I made a funny!) My daughter got a tree in her house during the storms yesterday and she texted me this morning and said she now has a tree in her house and stone in her kidney. I swear that kid must put calcium straight in her veins - she has got to find out what is causing these stones. (I could tell you a funny story about her 4th anniversary and winding up in the ER with a ruptured cyst they had been watching on her ovary but they may have a copyright on it at the ER because everyone was very entertained by her antics on pain medication - I will say that this was the first anniversary they had actually "been" together - he has been overseas somewhere in the military for the other three.) Oh well - off to work again for me. I'll check back in later. Annette

Yikes - I am glad I live in an apartment - they have to maintain the pool and it is always clean. That's a costly liner. Bruce - haven't seen you around for a bit - hope all the calves are okay - did Judy ever get the pictures posted? I think I need to take lessons to post some pictures. This weekend is going to be in the 90's and next Thursday the high will be 97 - and I wanted winter over - okay - that period of time where you can open the windows and air things out was about a day long. Katie - that is so great for your son - my new favorite reality show is Police Women of Broward County (I think that's in Florida). I would like to serve on a jury too and have never gotten called up - I would guess that I am too "black and white" for the defense - I pretty much think wrong is wrong. I guess I could also say that my nephew has ridden in a police car too - of course the music "Bad Boys Bad Boys" was playing in the background. (I made a funny - at last I am smiling about something.) Lillian - I was almost in tears reading your "history" - after all your hard charity work you think someone would give you a break for a second. Judy - your offer to talk touched me so very much. I am hoping we have a restful weekend. I intend to loosen up just a little bit and hopefully give us both a break. I think I may try and take him to a movie and let his little girlfriend come over for 4 minutes with the understanding that I can see all four feet on the floor at all times. (Teenagers). Stephanie - a stupid TV night with Judy in KW sounds perfect - I really enjoy stupid TV - lots and lots of it - but I'm thinking we have to put a limit on us -we would have to be careful because of all the laughing and fun we would have - of course they do say that laughter is the best medicine - so this is a great idea! Eric - I was hoping you could whittle the list down a little - there are a lot of things that really look like and could be fun. We can always pick a couple of things that really interest you and then play it by ear because if you plan too much things just take longer than you thought they would and I don't want you to wind up disappointed we missed something you really wanted to do. I guess I was would a little tight earlier. The kids in-home counselor came by at 5:30. He called me at 5:00 and I said - you said 5:30 you better not be there (we were at the hospital). He said no I was just checking on you. Then I locked myself in my room while they talked (supposed to be working - and you see where I am right). They called me out there and I let go again - telling the guy that I thought he was fleecing the Medicaid system because they "require" 3 hours and he's only been here 1 hour. I might have said more but I'm blocking it - then we started laughing about something - I felt better - I can just hope that the guy doesn't report my "rant" to the DSS - it's all about the system as far as they go. I'm still ranting aren't I - - - sorry about that my fingers got carried away - and they did not want to work on the work I brought home. I think I may go play a game - haven't been on facebook in a couple of days. Annette

A quick good morning - beautiful day - at least it was when I raced into work. I think if I could sit outside for a while and soak up some sun I'd get this cloud off my head. The kid and I might as well move into a boxing ring we are fighting so much. I have taken him to the hospital for the last two days and just walked him to my mothers room and said see you in 30 minutes. I am tired of her incessant nit-picking on me. The kid is yelling and screaming and hitting my walls and well no use going into all that crappie. I know it will be a while before my mom comes home because they are moving her up to a rehab room when one opens. I am over taking care of a 15 year old by myself. Yes, by myself - and I don't know if that's gonna work out either. On a brighter note - my grandson lives in a tree house now. Wait a minute I meant a tree lives in my grandson's house now. Yesterdays' storms knocked a tree down into the kids house - thank goodness they rent and will be closing on their first house in a matter of days. I guess I better get back to work - although I was up all night with a horrible stomach ache. I think I may have done it to myself - I'm pretty sure the only thing I had to eat yesterday was some dove chocolate. It sure was great going down - then it started swirling around and that was just not fun. I want to be Eric - off on adventures - I think he may have to take a vacation from his retirement at the rate he is going. I hope i can keep up with him long enough to show him some good sights when he gets to the states. Did everyone get a chance to read Judy's (MI) post about F.E.A.R. wow you should - I think I may print it out and keep it with me around .. well that time of the 1/4 year, 1/2 year, etc. How many of you have a long weekend? I may just have to have me a drink out by the pool! I know, I know - get busy, Annette

Gorgeous - warm - beautiful - that's outside. Inside, well - it is a four letter words.....work, kid and mom. (Stop counting some bad words only have three letters in them this week.) They moved her out of ICU - yeah - I am just so very down that I can't think of a darn thing to say that would not involve a pity party today. Judy - I don't see those tubes laying around for long - now that you have gotten to home grounds - you will get your groove back on. (I think that had you been in DC no one would have known you were the oldest more like the life of the party. I so wish I could have gone - now that mom is doing better I'm regretting not sticking to my guns and going. I saw the picture of Bud and the dog - adorable. We animal people are something else. My cat even though it drives me crazy will still drape himself over my shoulder (truthfully I think it's so the cat hairs get on the front and back of my shirt). Well - that's it - I just smiled I better get off here before I ruin my day with good thoughts - Annette

Beautiful day outside - Not so beautiful inside since it is a work, visit mom, and "family" counseling night. I have had teenager attitude up the ..... this weekend. I have discovered as long as he gets his way everything is fine. Now all I have to do is make my way his way. No eating in your room. But it has a lid on it and I won't get crumbs in bed (except for the big red stain on my practically new day bed. Where is the cable for the computer - I want to play on it since I fried the 2,000 my grandmother bought me a couple of months ago. Here it is knock yourself out kid (when it goes that's one less thing I have to break). Shoot did I turn that X Box off when he wandered away from it? I know I got the kitchen, utility room, dining room, and his bathroom lights 3 or 4 times - but I may have missed that little green light - grr. I have already been to the hospital for the first mom visit. She was sitting up eating a real breakfast - so that is good - although I can still tell she is not 100% mentally there is no comparison to over the last week. She said they are going to let her step down sometime today to the regular second floor. That will be great no more specific visiting hours - I may actually get a meal cooked. I had taco bell 3 times last week. I was so down this weekend with my mom's heart attack - really scared for the first time that COPD and now much weaker heart - is really working her over and the next time (or next) really could be the last. That freaking out feeling is just not fun. Ok - give me a second - there is humor in this brain somewhere... look at all the pretty marbles wonder where they came from. Wait a minute the rattle in my head is gone - hmm those must be my marbles. Judy - did you leave PSL for KW yet? How's that breathing - please please please make it get better! Gotta look smart (you know working) for a few minutes. Back later, I really missed you this weekend - I can't tell you how much I wish I had been there instead of sitting in the waiting room for the next 30 minute visiting session....Mean ICU people.... Annette

Well if they really don't know what is causing the shortness of breath then maybe getting home, relaxed and into your normal routine will solve everything. You have to admit running up the east coast this time was super stressful. I know I am just down right now running back and forth to the hospital - having my mom awake and talking then coming back 3 or 4 hours later and not being able to wake her - today makes day 7. Even though she doesn't have lung cancer her "problems" are similar because of the asthma and COPD. It may seem like I'm cussing but this almost makes me want to exercise. (Almost - I figure I will come to my senses before I do anything serious like sit-ups or walking or what exactly is exercise again.) I need something to strengthen my lower back. I hope that the DC gang forgive me for not making it up - but when the Doctor called Friday morning and told me mom had a heart attack during the night - I guess staying close was best. I hate that I missed it. Time to head over to the hospital. Annette

Well I'm up for now - Looks like I may not travel to DC after all. The doctor just called and my mom had a heart attack over night. I will go in a little while and check on this - but I just don't feel comfortable going away if bad things are still happening. So all the stability of yesterday afternoon is gone. At least she was talking last night. I am totally bummed out, I know that this will make Katie mad but I just don't know what to do. On top of all of my stuff Keith's aunt died last night. I certainly hope the third strike is not my x-ray in two weeks. I just took an advil to try and relieve this headache so I am going to try and lay down for a minute. Annette

Becky - just in case she doesn't make it back to the common room - Judy is in Orlando at MDA I believe - I talked to her Tuesday and she didn't tell me or sound like the breathing was an issue - extra scary for me because my mom is in the hospital for breathing. Of course we are better off believe it or not she has had asthma and COPD for over 24 years. I would say that I could bring your chickens since I am driving but you have now spent all that time catching and making up your potions...anyway. I better get going on the laundry then I gotta pick the kid up at counseling and go to the hospital to see my mom. I'm not sure if I'll get on in the morning so I may not check back until late Saturday. I hope everyone has a safe trip if traveling, and if not have a great weekend. Annette

I agree she is absolutely a hero - what a long road some of us have to travel. If you get the scan moved up or if you keep it in July please keep us updated - Just to be safe I'm guessing everyone here will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry to hear about your nephew - so very young. Sometimes I think that we must have a pretty darn full basket to carry on our shoulders. A test of strength - so very hard to cope sometimes I understand. I'm sure you are as glad as I am to count on everyone here to keep you, your sister and families in our thoughts and prayers. Annette