Karen,
My heart goes out to you. Please don't beat yourself up. I am sure you are doing the very best you can, and probally better than most. You are one of the most caring people on this board. So I know you are a wonderful caregiver. Connie is right you do need some time for yourself. It is not being selfish. You need to take care of yourself, so you can take care of your family.
Best Wishes,
Dee