Mr Ry
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Posts posted by Mr Ry
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Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen?
A: To draw blood.
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The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off her cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
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It must have been Mr. Ed's wife Mary Lou Ed.
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Sharyn,
You already have the strength. It is shown in all the love and caring you have given your dad all these years. A daughter like you can only do done wonderful things for him. Relax and try to enjoy the time you guys have left with your dad. My best to you and your family.
John
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Bruce,
I could pose as a construction worker and tell her we will have her house and garage done by Christmas.
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Frank,
I yanked on her chain and the jokes (notice mostly male bashing) came tumbling out.
It is a good thing I have a cute picture of our daughter or we would be buried in jokes. It will be a hard battle for the men to win this month.
John
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It must be a Blonde Ostrich.
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It is about time we had a good blonde joke.
Oh, and melts snowflakes.
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Harvey and Gladys Goldman are getting ready for bed.
Gladys is standing in front of her full-length mirror,
taking a long, hard look at herself. "You know, Harvey,"
she comments. "I stare into this mirror and I see an
ancient creature. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs sag
so much that they dangle to my waist, my arms and legs
are as flabby as popped balloons, and...my butt looks
like a sad, deflated version of the Hindenberg!" She
turns to face her husband and says, "Dear, please tell
me just one positive thing about my body so I can feel
better about myself."
Harvey studies Gladys critically for a moment and then
says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well...there's nothing
wrong with your eyesight."
Services for Harvey Goldman will be held Tuesday morning
at 10:30 at Beth Israel Synagogue.
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Curtis,
I'll have to find a "abusing the monkey" joke.
John
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Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
It kept saying ''Bach, Bach, Bach...''
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Q. What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra?
A. OH HENRY!
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I have been there Bruce. The only free sample they give out is lemonade. It is a dry county. If they where free I would be there 361 days a year.
John
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Elaine,
The only thing I can think of is maybe you moved or something weird happen when the machine got to that area.
As far as the barium goes, I usually have a pint 2 hours before and a pint one hour before and a cup just before I lay down. The iodine is injected after the first scan. I get two runs through the machine. Also nothing to eat like 4 hours before the scan. Which, might be why Frank and Bruce have to pull over on the way home.
The first time I did not know about picking up the contrast before the day of my scan. They gave me two pints to drink 1/2 hour before the scan, Which really turned out to be an hour before.
Please don't sweat it until they have something concrete to tell you. Hell, if I let myself go I could worry until the cows come home.
My best to you for good results. John
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Frank
We need more sign on ID's. Vote early and often!
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A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says," How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little four-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he had seen them. She says, "You'll be the first, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says, "Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"
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That depends on if your little finger itches too.
Then what, do both feel better now?
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Have you seen Ray Charles' wife?
Neither has he!
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Well, Bruce you could have gotten the BIG BOOB hall pass.
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I hope this is just a small blip on the screen. I 'am with you Don, both of you will get through this. Just a small pot hole in the road for you two.
John
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Boy, points for the men on that one. Even Rochelle said we get points for it.
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Bo,
I had some hair thinning all over my body, but never lost it all. I had my hair cut really short, because my hair was falling out. After I had my hair cut it seemed to stop. So, I think my hair may have been breaking off. It was nice though I lost all of my nose hair.
Glad your not feeling bad after treatments.
Best of luck. John
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Oh double breasted.
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Beth,
This is how it went for me. I collected short term then long term, and finaly SSD. The long term insurance company advised me to apply for SSD. They would offer any help I needed. He is eligible for SSD 6 months after he starts dissablity. I went longer but had to pay the long term disablity ins. company any back pay I got from SSD. I did get back pay and had to pay the differeance.
You will also be eligible for benefits for your children.
John
Does anyone want to join me on some dietary changes for 2005
in LUNG CANCER IN THE NEWS
Posted
This my understanding of sugar and the body. I have been a type two diabetic for close to six years. They told me that my insulin was not working properly. All cells need sugar to survive. Sugar can not pass through the cell walls without the aid of insulin. I was given a drug to help insulin carry that sugar though the cell walls. I was also told to cut my sugar intake back and exercise. I monitor my sugar level once a day first thing in the morning. It tells me how well I did the day before.
Your body needs sugar to maintain itself. Yes so does cancer cells. The way they explained it to me concerning the PET scan, is cancer cells being fast growing need more sugar. So the cancer cells light up because they draw in more of the radiated sugar. All fast growing cells do the same. An example are cells around a wound will take up more sugar because they are fast growing cells. They always ask me in the pre PET scan interview I have had any injuries or sugars recently.
The non-white foods Lisa is talking about are foods that still contain sugar but are slower for the body to convert to sugar. Which is why they are much better for your body. You are not hitting your body with this big volume of sugar at once.