Mr Ry

MEMBER UPDATES · October 8, 2004

Great news Fay

Empty head? Fear of losing your mind? I am lost Fay. Tho easily confused.

Something must be working up there for you.

Celebrate, have one on me.

John

October 7, 2004

Kathy,

When I had those two. I received the IV on Wednesday and was sick Friday night and Saturday morning and noon. I was ready to go out for dinner Saturday night. That is Rochelle's and my date night, so I was a little more motivated.

A note when ever you have chemo. Drink lots of water before during and after. It helps lots of symptoms, especially stiff muscles.

I would say you could go home tomorrow, if you feel all right.

John

October 7, 2004

Paddy

I saw my oncologist today and we were discussing Iressa. He said that the manufacturer has been very good about providing the drug to people that couldn't afford it.

October 7, 2004

Good one Frank. I saw this joke but, was afraid to post it. I am afraid of Elaine. :shock:

October 6, 2004

A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there was a gorgeous blonde eating at the next table. He had been checking her out all night, but lacked the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye went flying out of its socket towards the man. With lightning quick reflexes, he caught it in mid-air.

''Oh my gosh, I am so sorry,'' she said as she popped her eye back in the socket. ''Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you.''

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invited him back to her place for a drink. They went back to her house, and after some time, she took him into her bedroom and began undressing him. The couple had wild, passionate sex many times during the night. The next morning when he awoke, she had already gotten up and brought him breakfast in bed.

The guy was amazed and said ''You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?''

''No, she replied.....You just happened to catch my eye!''

September 30, 2004

Beckey's post

"59. Your nose and ears never stop growing.

So I guess some of those "formulations" ladies supposedly use are wrong? "He has big ears so he has a big...." "

Well maybe the ears are just trying to catch up with his big...

September 30, 2004

1. Coca-cola was originally green.

2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.

3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.

4. Dumbest dog: Afghan

5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2

8. Amount American Airlines saved in '87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000

9. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong

10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4

12. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/12

13. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

15. Estimated % of American adults who go on diet each year: 44%

16. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33

17. Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: 7

18. Percentage of Americans who say that God has spoken to them: 36%

19. Percentage of Americans who regularly attend religious services: 43%

20. City with highest per capita viewership of TV evangelists: Washington DC

21. Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80%

22. % of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50%

23. % of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58%

24. % of women who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 85%

25. Number of different family relationships for which Hallmark makes cards: 105

26. Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

27. Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

28. Percentage of Americans who have visited Disneyland or Disney World: 70%

29. Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

30. Portion of ice cream sold that is vanilla: 1/3

31. Portion of potatoes sold that are French fried: 1/3

32. Percentage of Americans that eat at McDonald's each day: 7

33. Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90%

34. Percentage of mammal species that are: 3%

35. Number of US states that claim test scores in their elementary schools are above national average: 50%

36. Portion of Harvard students who graduate with honors: 4/5

37. Chances that a burglary in the US will be solved: 1 in 7.

38. Portion of land in the US owned by the government: 1/3

39. Only President to remain a bachelor: James Buchanon

40. Only first lady to carry a loaded revolver: Eleanor Roosevelt

41. Only President to win a Pulitzer: John F. Kennedy for "Profiles in Courage"

42. Only President awarded a patent: Abe Lincoln, for a system of buoying vessels over shoals

43. Only food that does not spoil: honey

44. Only person to win $64,000 Challenge and $64,000 Question: Dr. Joyce Brothers (subject is boxing)

45. Only bird that can fly backwards: Hummingbird

46. Only continent without reptiles or snakes: Antarctica

47. Only animal besides human that can get sunburn: pig

48. Ostriches stick their heads in the sand to look for water.

49. An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.

50. In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees.

51. Polar bears are left-handed.

52. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

53. Eskimos never gamble.

54. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

55. The youngest pope was 11 years old.

56. Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school.

57. Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.

58. Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner.

59. Your nose and ears never stop growing.

60. Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets in our solar system combined.

61. Hot water is heavier than cold.

62. The parachute was invented by da Vinci in 1515.

63. They have square watermelons in Japan. They stack better.

64. Cream does not weigh as much as milk.

65. Starfish have eight eyes-one at the end of each leg.

66. Iceland consumes more Coca-cola per capita than any other nation.

67. First novel ever written on a typewriter was "Tom Sawyer."

68. There are more collect calls on Father's Day than any other day of the year.

69. Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.

70. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

71. Men get hiccups more often than women.

72. Armadillos can be housebroken.

September 30, 2004

I tried that and only get 8. Let alone get to 4100.

September 30, 2004

No calculator, but I got 5000. One of the few things I can do is add in my head. :shock: and still got it wrong. :oops:

September 29, 2004

Good one. :lol:

September 29, 2004

My cough was not bad, but persitant. I coughed up blood once the week before my dx.

September 29, 2004

I had my xray the day I went to the doctor with symptoms. I also had a CT the same day. I had a windowed CT the next day and had my frist radiation treatment .

John

September 28, 2004

BEEEEEES

September 28, 2004

>

>> > >At the end of this, you are asked a question.

>> > >

>> > >Answer it immediately. Don't stop and think about it.

>> > >

>> > >Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.

>> > >

>> > >Here is the Fun Test...

>> > >

>> > >If you do not believe this, pass it around and you'll see.

>> > >

>> > >Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the

>> 2%

>> > >and send to everyone, including the person that sent it to you.

>> > >

>> > >Amazing test....just follow the instructions as quickly as

>> possible.

>> > >

>> > >Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished

>> > >the previous one.

>> > >

>> > >You do not need to write or remember the answers, just do it using

>> > >your mind.

>> > >

>> > >You'll be surprised.

>> > >

>> > >Start:

>> > >

>> > >How much is . :

>> > >>

>> > >> 15 + 6

>> > >>

>> > >> 3 + 56

>> > >>

>> > >> 89 + 2

>> > >>

>> > >> 12 + 53

>> > >>

>> > >> 75 + 26

>> > >>

>> > >> 25 + 52

>> > >>

>> > >> 63 + 32

>> > >>

>> > >I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's nearly over..

>> > >>

>> > >Come on, one more...

>> > >>

>> > >> 123 + 5

>> > >>

>> > >QUICK! THINK ABOUT A TOOL AND A COLOR!

>> > >>

>> > >Scroll further to the bottom...

>> > >>

>> > >Scroll it more...

>> > >>

>> > >You just thought about a red hammer, didn't you?

>> > >

>> > >If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a

>> > >different, if not abnormal, mind.

>> > >98% of the folks would answer a red hammer while doing this

>> exercise.

>> > >

>> > >If you do not believe this, pass it around and you'! ll see.

>> > >

>> > >Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the

>> 2%

>> > >and send to everyone, including the person that sent it to you.

>> > >

>>

>

September 28, 2004

Little Mary always fell asleep at Sunday school so the nun asked her, "Who was our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny who sat behind her took out a pin and pokes her in the butt, making Mary yell "Jesus Christ!"

Very good says the teacher. Mary falls back asleep. So the nun wakes her back up and asks, "Who created the universe?" Little Johnny pokes her in the butt with a pin again, making Mary yell, "God Almighty!"

The teacher says very good. And unconvinced that Mary would stay awake, she asks Mary, "What did Eve say to Adam after giving birth?" Little Mary jumped out of her seat and yells, "If you shove that thing in my butt one more time I'm gonna break it in half and though it in the river."

September 28, 2004

A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I''m only here to wash your face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"

Again the nurse replies, "I can''t tell. I''m only here to wash your face and hands."

The ward nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught so she marches over to inquire what is wrong.

"Nurse," he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"

Being a nurse she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes and announces, "Nothing is wrong with them."

At this the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again,

"Are my test results back?"

September 28, 2004

Really gald you heard from NED.

September 27, 2004

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. He told his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied,

"Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

September 27, 2004

One day a man walked in on his son masturbating. He said, "Now son, if you don't stop masterbuting, you'll go blind!" The son replies, "Hey dad! I'm over here!"

September 26, 2004

A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts." He asks "What do you mean?" So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!" The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren''t you?" She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?" Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."

September 26, 2004

The Engineer and the Bike

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

September 26, 2004

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.

He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.

The cop yelled, "Pull over!"

The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"

September 24, 2004

Frank,

Do not wear that cowboy hat when hunting bears. :shock:

September 24, 2004

Why is a dog man's best friend? Men always like friends dumber than they are.

So do women but they have men. ~Jeff Foxworthy.

One point for the women.

September 23, 2004

Is it a squirrel? If not what is a crooker?

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