Mr Ry
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Posts posted by Mr Ry
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Ginny
Let us not forget Iron City.
Rochelle and I used to live near Erie. One of our favorites is Genensee Cream Ale. I think that is a New York beer.
Yuengling did not make it that far to western Pa when we lived there. Believe me I tried every beer at the beer distributor.
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David,
If was a Strohs or Molson Canadian, it was me. If it was a Rolling Rock Green Light it was Rochelle.
Frank shhh! We let them think they are superior, so we get to do what we want. Do not let them know.
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Boy, I thought if I was going to offend anyone with this post it would have been the Davids thinking they all could be brothers.
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Congratulations Dave
Here's to 2 more years.
Cheers to many more years.
(the extent of my poetry)
Enjoy this day, Dave.
Two years ago today was really a bad day for you. 
Keep believing in yourself. It is working.
When I was given my prognosis, I choose male selective hearing.
Keep it up.
John
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David's Brother David
Sorry Eliane,
I did not want to offend anyone. This is the best I can do. I am unable to delete this thread.
John
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David,
I Learned a long time ago this is not a democracy. You do not get a vote.
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Tbone,
I am someone who enjoys walking. I started five years ago when I was dx with diabetes. The doctor said I should do something that cause me to breath hard and sweat for at least 30 minutes three or four times a week to help lower my sugar levels. After my dx of lung cancer I continued to just keep my strength up. I really pushed it between chemo/radiation and straight chemo to make me stronger for straight chemo. I can not walk as hard and fast as I did before dx of LC, it does help with the fatigue. I did not walk through the winter because the Iressa rash and the cold (Michigan) hurt my face.
I have started again. I am using it to help measure how my lungs are doing. I also just really enjoy all the sights when walking. One place I walk is where my daughter Caitlin has horse riding lessons. It is out in the country with lots of hills and all dirt roads. Also there several different routes I can take. At home I have several directions I can go. Most of which involve walking near lakes. It even got better this year because Rochelle walks with me most of the time. Tread mills are boring unless there is something good on TV. I have thought about one for winter time, but the Jack Benny in me wins out, they are just too expensive when the roads are free.
I hope you learn to enjoy the walks as much as I do. It is a great time to just enjoy thinking, living and breathing. It is a good idea to walk in the morning. It is cooler, less traffic, and quiet.
Enjoy John
P.S. Tee Bones is the name of our local bar on the lake. It has to be a good name.
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If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan.
If you're proud that your region makes the
national news 96 nights each year because Pelston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and
they don't work there, you might live in Michigan.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the mddle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same
time, you might live in Michigan.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation
with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Michigander WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going up north past US-75 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events ncluding weddings.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Indiana.
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to snow.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Michigan friends.
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Joyce,
I remember a post just about a month ago that someone had gotten Iressa free from the drug company. I guess you have prove a lack of money to get it. I do not know about Medicaid paying for Iressa. Keep pressing for the Iressa. It has work very well for me and others on this board. Sounds like your onc needs a swift kick in the butt.
Best of luck John.
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Farmer Joe and his Mule
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"
''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--''
''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.
''Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'"
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One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit shi_. One of the boys said, ''What is that?''
''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy. ''Eat them and they'll make you smarter.
So he ate them and said, ''These taste like shi_.''
''See,'' said the other boy, ''you're already getting smarter.''
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One day a teacher went into her class room and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.
Each of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time. She went in one morning, expecting to dinf it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.”
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Addie,
I think you are right about the cough and quitting smoking. Your cilia is probably coming back to life and cleaning your lungs. Also the cancer in your lung is a foreign and your body's reaction is to move it out. One of the cough medicines I used when my cough was really bad at night is phenergan with codeine. Both drugs help with the cough and help you sleep. During the day I used tessalon perle. Also chewing gum or sucking on a hard candy helps through the day. The saliva keeps washing the crap out of your throat.
The migraines and the shortness of breath easily could be the stress. Relaxation and a little of xanax helps. Better living through chemistry.
Good luck with the test results.
John
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Angie,
Do not worry so much. These symptoms are quite common with the chemo. The chemo in the muscles I think causes a lot of the aches. I felt a lot like your dad. The neuropathy is common. I got neuropathy from my diabetes, but it got worse with chemo. Yes definitely talk to the Dr. about the symptoms. I hope I help put your mind at ease.
John
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Three Guys
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
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An University of Michigan mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt. Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the Ohio State University fight song come out of the guy's butt.
Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place. He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!!"
Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery."
When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork.
Upon hearing the Ohio State University fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
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Phyllis,
The way it went for me was I went on short term disability ins. from my employer. Then on to long term disability ins. through my employer. After a while on long term the insurance company told me I had to apply for SS disability. The insurance carried me until the SS disability started. I had to repay the insurance company the back money I got from SS. I was never without an income. See your human resources person about the disability ins. Not all company carry it. Good luck
John
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This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terrible, doctor, terrible."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again
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Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them, but unfortunately they always gave her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, ''He is such a sweet and gentle man but I don't think he can live with my problems.'' So she decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up beans.
A year later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country, she called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she could walk off any ill effect by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner, and before she knew it she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted.
Upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her, exclaming delightedly, ''Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'' He then blindfolded her then led her to a chair at the table. Just as he was about to remove the blindfold the phone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold till he came back. Then he went to answer the phone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted the weight to one leg, and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelt like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk coming froma pulp mill. She took a napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cabbage cooking. Keeping her ears turned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signed the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with the napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contently to herself, she was the picture of innocence when her husband returned. Apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removes the blindfold to reveal twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a first Happy Anniversary!
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For those with No children-this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age,
this is hilarious. For those who have children this
age, this is not funny. For those who have children
nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who
have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin,
Texas: Things I've learned from my Children (honest &
no kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy
wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is
strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have
to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock
even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it
in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the
same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First
grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher
was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her
class. She came to the part of the story where the
first pig was trying to accumulate the building
materials for his home. She read,"..And so the pig
went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw
and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then
asked the class, "And what do you think that man
said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I
think he said...'Holy crap! A talking pig!'" The
teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the
Clorox and brake fluid.
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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
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One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk.
Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blond standing next to him smiling.
"What do you have in your pocket?", she asked.
"Tennis ball,” the man said smiling back.
"Wow," said the blond looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!"
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How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.
Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
They'll never see you coming.
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
What does Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.
Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary!
Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each other's shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
What's the ultimate in rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Why don't debutantes go to orgies?
There'd be too many thank-you notes to write.
What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
''How come?''
What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?
Two Mennonite!
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.
Can you say three two-letter words that denote small?
Is it in?
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One... Men will screw anything.
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Hi Alex, This is Caitlin. I am sorry to hear about your dad. We have a mutt named Cody. I play travel soccer, I am the sweeper. I also ride horses. Caitlin
Two years ago today was really a bad day for you. 
Woman Who Has Everything
in JUST FOR FUN
Posted
What do you give the woman who has everything?
My phone number.