caringdaughter

It's so hard to say with him. He's diabetic, so he is also going through lots of sugar highs and lows (regardless of how he eats). The chemo really messes him up in this area. He hasn't lost an incredible amount of weight. When his appetite started going, his oncologist put him on an appetite stimulant, and that's been a Godsend. He and Mom eat out quite often, as he never knows what he'll be in the mood for. I can see the whole "man pride" issue working on him, and it's so depressing. He has always been the strong one, and the one who takes care of everything. I understand how he feels, I guess. It just feels like we've lost him, already, in many ways. It's amazing how fast life can change on you! I'm just hoping and praying that he'll be able to get back into life at some point. Will let you know how the weekend goes..... Thank you!

Thank you, Snowflake. That is good advice. I guess I'll just wait for him to feel somewhat up to doing some things. I know it is a struggle for him in that he doesn't want to be useless, and it hurts his pride to have anybody doing things for him. Right now, he has zero energy. He does get up every day, and shower and eat. But often that is as far as he gets. I am hoping that this does get better once this chemo is finished. He may start on a different chemo or Tarceva after this.

My 70 year old father was diagnosed several months ago with nsclc, stage 3b. Since then, he has been on chemo...no surgery. He has been anemic during most of his time on chemo, and has had a Procrit injection twice to boost his numbers. My question is this: How do you distinguish between depression and fatigue? I feel that his fatigue CAUSES him depression, in that he is unable to do anything that he did before. Even small tasks, or trips to the store wear him out. If any of us offer to do any yard work, or any of "his" old tasks, he is angry, and short with us. So....many of the daily chores go undone. And he is sleeping, and sleeping, and sleeping (when he's not awake being grumpy). Meanwhile....his cancer is, at best, "stable". It has not grown during these 3 months, but no shrinking either. My dad is one of those "get in and get it done" kind of guys. I think he is hoping to treat this, and move on and get back into life. I don't see it happening that way. We are all struggling here. My parents have no support system, spiritually or otherwise. I have my church, and friends I can go to, and, of course, my faith. They are alone in their dark hole. I am the only child here in town, and I call and visit often. I see my mother's mood eb and flow with his, and it is so disheartening! I don't know how to "encourage" them, if this is what his life is going to be like from now on. I can tell you, it is no life......and it makes me question whether or not he should be going through all of this chemo to only draw out the suffering.