Lynnie

Thank you for all your replies. Its comforting to come on here and read these. I haven't had it in me to get back on until now. SAme thing with reading through all the wonderful cards people sent to us. To those of you that have lost a loved one to this disease my heart goes out to you. And to those of you fighting this horrible disease my prayers are with you. I know what strong people you are and I hope one day we all beat this and lose no ones else to it.

I'm not sure how many of you remember me, I have not posted since January. My dad was diagonsed November 2, 2009 with Stage 4 lung cancer. By the time he was diagnosed it had already spread through out his body, including stomach, liver, kidneys, adrenal glands, spine and brain. He underwent 10 days of radiation followed by 2 rounds of chemo. At Christmas time we discovered his brain tumor hadn't shrunk and on Christmas Eve he underwent brain surgery to have it removed. Since surgery it had been one thing after another. Almost like his brain didn't remember how to send out the right signals to his body. My dad had been in and out of the hospital since then. The first week of February really started his decline. For the most part he stopped eating and drinking. About a week later he was in and out of being lucid. Always upbeat though. He could no longer do chemo, he just wasn't strong enough. The last day he was out of bed his care facility put on a "Day of Disney" so he could "take" my daughter to Disneyland.... a dream of his. It was such a wonderful party and meant the world to us. That was first week of Feb. The last month of his life we made sure to always be with him. One of us always staying the night with him as well. It was hard to watch the decline of such a big strong man but what an honor to be there with him. On Feb 26 my dad was no longer able to communiate in any way. We would hold his hand and talk to him and let him know it was ok to go. He held on until March 4th when he quietly stopped breathing in the early evening. He never complained of pain and we had hospice to help the final month of his life. He would always say to me "its ok sweetie, I'm going to beat this". And in his way he did. He left on his terms, 2 weeks later then they expected him to. My dad was a huge trivia buff and I like to think of him up there excitedly learning the answers to all our unanswered questions that those of us living still have. I miss him every minute.... at times I can't catch my breath. This Saturday we are having a Mass and Celebration of Life for him. On Monday we will be laying him in his final resting place at the National Cemetery where he will receive full military honors. My dads name is Timothy Meng and lung cancer isn't what he was it was what took him from all he loved. He loved cooking, traveling, telling stories, war movies, even musicals. He could sit for hours and listen to Big Band music. He loved giving to others. He loved life! Nothing came before his family. I can still see his face the moment I told him he was going to be a grandpa. He loved my little girl in a way that only papa's do. He was a gentle man and a smile was always on his face. I'll miss him all the days of my life. Its not goodbye daddy, I will see you again. Your Lynnie

Randy I forgot to mention I looked at the website you created for you much loved wife and what a special site it is. So sorry you lost her and at such a young age.

I agree that having my dad in a facility is more difficult for him then being home and I beat myself over that constantly. Its just not possible. I'm a single mom to a one year old daughter and my dad requires 24 hour assistance. My parents are divorced so there is no spouse to help care for him. I can't have him in my home. My dad can not walk or care for himself. He takes so many pills my worst nightmare would be him dropping one and my daughter picking it up. I understand everyone on here is fighting lung cancer but we all are dealing with different situations. This brain surgery has changed him. Its weakened him. He has been in the hospital since Wed. He has access to food and water 24/7. A good friend of mine is the Executive Director for the care facility my dad is in and the treatment he receives there is wonderful. My dad has been asking me the last 2 days to please get him out of the hospital and back to his room there. He is tired of tests and pokes and he wants to be left alone. In my opinion even when someone fighting this terrible things says enough no more treatments, thats not quitting. I have hospice set up for my dad when he gets out of the hospital. This is something we discussed. He can still receive chemo if he chooses because it is for palliative care. Right now he says he doesn't want to but I want to keep that open because I know right now its bad but he could improve and change his mind. Susan thank you I did broach the subject with "what do you want to do" I also let him know I support him no matter what. I did my best to not lead him in any directions and to leave it open. I told him he isn't feeling good now but in a few days he can turn for the better and change his mind on some things. I have learned to take each day on a day by day basis. Took me awhile to get there because I am a planner. Like I said this brain surgery just caused so many other issues to arise. I almost question why you would do that invasive of a surgery on someone in his situation as now he has this surgery to try and recover from while battling so many other hurdles.

Thank you so much for checking in on us. I'm still hear and yes busy. I come on and read but haven't posted lately. To update on my dad. On Dec 22 we took him to the hospital because he was really getting confused and losing the use of his left side again. The did an MRI and discovered that chemo was really making an improvement on the tumors through out his body but unfortunately radiation did not work on his brain tumor. His oncologist consulted with the neurologist again and they felt they could now do surgery to remove the brain tumor now that the rest were shrinking. Without surgery they didn't give him much more then a week. On Christmas Eve my dad very bravely went into brain surgery. This wonderful man doesn't even blink when they throw him knew curves he just says lets do it. The surgery went well and they were able to get the majority of the tumor. After a week he was released and went back to his care facility. He was showing some improvement but then last night he was complaining of shortness of breath and his nurse there could not get a blood pressure so he was taken to the hospital and admitted for dehydration and anemia. Also today they gave him a blood transfusion for low platelets (?) Hopefully tomorrow he will be released from the hospital. I watch him fight and people tell me what a will he has to live. I am so proud and thankful for this but I have a question and please do not think I am throwing in the towel. I will fight right along with him for as long as he wants. My question is when do you stop? He is exhasuted and confused and wants to be left alone (by medical staff) and so thin now. Hasn't ate in a week. I've already told him I am proud of him and love him. I want to tell him if he feels enough is enough I support that and am still so priveldged to be his daughter. This brain surgery has been very hard on him and taken so much out of him.... anyone have experinece in this area?

Everyone here has been so kind and it is so appreciated! Like I said I am so new to the world of cancer and am trying to become as knowledgable as possible. My dads dr is going to be in shock at the number of questions I have at his next appt. I was reading in the "ask the experts" section through some of the live chats and it said radiation only last 3-4 weeks. Does this mean all the improvments I've seen in my dad will start to reeverse 3-4 weeks after radiation has ended. It has been 2 weeks since he finished. Although he is still having chemo.... his second round is this coming up week. I'm now understanding that while there is no cure for Stage 4 it is something that he can live with. Which the dr's didn't seem to feel. But from this site and other places you all have directed me I finally have hope. Thank you so much for giving me that. I posted on cancergrace and its so wonderful that dr's are helpng so many people get answers to their questions. I can't seem to log into the site tonight.... but will try again tomorrow. Dawn.... what a journey you have had. Please let me know what the drs say about your possible MS diagnosis. I will keep you in my prayers. My dad is doing really well I am so pleased to report. He is getting around so good with his walker and has such a great attitude. He worries about me but I just want to do for him. I have a friend that is the Executive Director of a rehab/long term care facility and moved my dad into it on Wed. They put him in a really nice private room. He is getting lots of therapy there and likes the food. Its an hour from where I live but I get out there every other day for now.

My dads oncologist did say after the second round of chemo they will do another scan to see if its making a difference. It has to be though I mean it really is amazing the difference I see in his abilities. I don't believe his dr has ever mentioned the drug Triceva (SP?) I keep seeing mentioned on this site and have read about. My dad goes for his second chemo in a week and I am going to ask about it. Thank you for your replies.

I am very thankful to have stumbled onto this site. I've been reading through post and have a few questions.... My dear dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer on Nov 2. The dr's have called it squamous cell cancer. His cancer has spread to his brain, spine, liver, abdomen, adrenal glands. I know they named other places as well but honestly I was weak in the news and trying not to pass out at this point. He had ten days of radiation and one round of chemo. The dr says he can do 4-6 rounds of chemo and then no more. I am trying to understand why they won't continue with more. He had made wonderful progress with the radiation and chemo. From not being able to even get out of bed to now walking with a walker. I guess I am wondering if there are any people out there who had a similar diagnosis and what their experience has been. I'm told everything being done for my dad is pallative care. I am so naive to all this that I didn't even know what that was. I just can't believe my dad is dying. There has to be more we can do for him. I see the radiation and chemo results there has to be more. I'm 35 years old and single mom to a beautiful one year old daughter and we desperately want many more years with this man. My dad is divorced from my mom but they have remained friends and she is fighting for him too. I have one sister who has never been close to my dad and is sort of shut down to the situation. She is able to go about her every day life like nothing is going on but I am consumed with my dads diagnosis. I guess its not so much questions I have right now but hope.

Thank you so much for the replies. I know I still have a lot to learn and am devouring every bit of information I can find. He is my dear dad and I have to do everything I can for him. I have for the most part been incredibly blessed in my life and this is the first time I have been personally touched by cancer. I have know a few people who have fought cancer but nothing this personal to me. I feel there is so much to learn and like I am constantly playing catch up. Dawn first thank you so much for your kind reply. What an incredible story you have. May I ask how long it has been since you were diagnosed? I am so happy to hear your report that your quality of life is excellent. That is something I hope my dad is able to say some day soon. I have applied for aid and assistance from the VA. My dad was never in Vietnam. He was due to go over when his father and older brother had heart attacks and he was kept in the US on a family hardship. I will look into travel reimbursement, I had never heard of that. I will be going to cancergrace.com tonight to become familiar with that site. Again your reply really gave me hope. Ned I feel I should know the chemo agents being used for my father but I don't. I will be sure to find that out tomorrow. I honestly didn't know there were different ones, thats how little I knew about cancer. I do know my dad was diagnosed with squamous cell cancer at stage 4. Randy I am in Olympia not far from Seattle, is Dr West the Dr mentioned affliated with GRACE? That is wonderful to know he is here. Thanks for all your kind replies. My heart really breaks to see my strong vibrant dad battle this disease.

I'm new to this site and new to the world of cancer. I'm just looking for any and all help I can find. My father was diagnosed on Nov 2 with Stage 4 lung cancer. He was 58 at diagnosis. We were told he had 4 - 6 months to live. He has tumors on his lungs, brain, spine, liver, abdomen and adrenal glands. Honestly they may have name one or two more but I lose track. He was living in CA and diagnosed at the VA hospital. He went to the hospital on Oct 30 and we had to wheel him out on NOv 5. He was unable to even get of bed on his own. I had him moved up to WA state where I live so he could be by family. He went to the hospital and stayed for 3 weeks. They did 10 days of radiation on his spine and brain tumors. What a difference that has made. He can now walk with a walker and is a lot more alert. He had one round of chemo and has a second round next week. Is this someone who can now live? I have a hard time believing he is dying especially with seeing all the improvements he has made. I don't knwo what to expect. Right now he is in a rehabiliation center as I am a single mother of a 1 year old. The center is talking about releasing him. I will gladly take him home with me the only problem is he can't do stairs and my showers are both upstairs. Will he continue to improve? Is he someone who will be able to work and live on his own again? Any suggestions on what I can do if he comes home with me? Thank you so much! Lyn