Dear Tammy,
I am so so sorry you lost your mom. You are a year older than my daughter and I know she wouldnt deal with such a loss as you have to. I know your pain is unbearable and I wish I had the magic words to make it all go away. Your mom was way too young and you are too young to have to endure this loss. Everything you are feeling is completely normal. You feel as though you are walking in a fog, and everything just feels strange and not real. Why is life going on when you feel so helpless and completely consumed by sadness? Doesnt anyone understand, " I miss her" is probably what you are thinking. I understand all too well those emotions, I lost my very precious dad almost 5 months ago, and the pain can be so devastating at times. You have been through alot, and it will take time, everyone grieves in their own way, along with the grieving you have to deal with everything that led up to your moms passing which I know was a nightmare. Just remember do what feels right for you. Your mom wouldnt want it any other way....If you need someone to talk to I can give you my number, just let me know....Will be praying that God gives you strength to get through this and you can heal and find some peace.....Cathy