dusty26

TeeTaa, Thank you for keeping us updated on tbone. He means alot to all of us. Prayers for tbone and his entire family. Pat

Years ago, a few months before my Mom passed from brain cancer, her nurse told me about “On Death and Dying”. Excellent book.!!! The nurse told me about it after Mom and I had a ‘discussion’ about her birthstone ring. Mom was telling me when she passed, she wanted me to have her birthstone ring, my sister to have her cameo ring, etc, etc. I was upset that Mom would be talking this way. I had always tried to be the eternal optimist with her, and now she was talking about death? Mom’s nurse explained to me about the ‘stages’ patients go through. Mom knew she was not going to make it through this terrible illness. She needed help to eat, bathe, etc. The one thing she still had control of was her possessions. While she had her thoughts intact, she wanted to make them known. By me telling her ‘oh Mom, you are not going to die” or “Why are you talking like this”, I was actually shutting her down. It was a very valuable lesson I learned which I remembered my sisters last few weeks with us.

My sister deteriorated very quickly. Even though she was getting radiation and chemo, it seemed she was losing ground quicker than the doctor’s expected. She was just 50 when she passed. Enjoy the Easter holiday with your Dad.

My sister, Eileen, was diagnosised Feb 2003 with lung cancer. When she went into the hospital Feb 19, they drained just over a liter of (cancerous) fluid from the area surrounding her lower right lung. Upon further testing, they found the cancer on her adrenal glad and in her right thigh bone. She began a regiment of radiation within a few days. She was tolerated that well. The doctor’s decided to start chemo for the bone cancer. Chemo took a toll on her. When she went for the second treatment a week later, her blood counts were low. They sent her home and was told to come back the following week. The next week her bloods counts were still low. The doctor’s decided to give her a unit of blood. Upon typing her for the blood, they detected leukemia. Despite this, the doctors tried as hard as they could to give her radiation and chemo when her body would allow it. By the end of March she was using a walker. A week later she was in a wheel chair. Eileen and her husband shared the same birthday. They celebrated their 50th birthday together April 6. April 15 she was taken to the hospital. She died April 23. As morbid as is may seen, with the initial diagnosis of lung cancer, we (my brother-in-law and I) figured Eileen would not be with us at Christmas. We were upbeat, positive and hoping against hope that she was strong enough to beat it. She was a wonderful mother that loved her two beautiful daughters (20 and 22) more than life itself. I made the trip from upstate NY to LI almost every weekend to visit Eileen and also to give my brother-in-law a break. It was so hard to get him out of the house. He knew everything would be ok with Eileen if I stayed with her. He did not want to leave her side. Eileen would lay on the couch. We’d watch the Food Channel together. She slept a great deal of time. When she was awake, we’d talk about the strange meals they were making on the TV. To this day I have a very hard time watching the Food Channel. I think of Eileen every time. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. She was my big sister. She will always be my big sister. I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since we lost her. I never thought we were really, really close. But even when she was feeling her worst, she wanted me with her. Times when she was not feeling well enough to have my dad visit, she wanted me with her. That made me feel very good. I mentioned Eileen initially went in the hospital Feb 19, 2003. My mom initially went in the hospital Feb 19, 1985, when she was diagnosised with brain cancer. Mom lost her fight July 28, 1987. I know they are together, looking over us from heaven.

Gail Judy, Becky and all our angels are together, happy, peaceful and free of pain. As if we are walking blind, gazing at a map, they are lighting our way for us. You know the ‘little voice’ in your mind? Or the ‘gut-feeling‘ you get? It’s an angel showing you the way. They are all around us, helping us through our difficult times and sharing in our laughter. dusty

Others have mentioned books on this thread. Here are two very good books: On Death and Dying, by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (ISBN: 0684842238) and Walking in the Garden of Souls, by George Anderson (ISBN: 0425186113). George Anderson has written several superb books.

TeeTaa, We do not know each other. The internet is a wonderful place where you meet fantastic people. I’ve know TBone a number of years via the internet. We’ve never met in person. Nonetheless, he has been a extraordinary friend. A few years ago, I was going through a difficult time with anxiety, self-doubt, uneasiness, etc. TBone recognized the difficulty I was having. He encouraged me to see my family physician. When I look back on those days, I can honestly say I don’t know if I’d be here if it wasn’t for TBone. I will forever be indebted to him for saving my life. I lurked around this site for a week before I posted. There are many things the caregivers post that I can relate to. I learned with my sister’s death that there is no time than the present to say what is on your mind. You never know if/when you will have that chance again. A big Thank-You and an even bigger (((hug))) to all of you that have welcomed me here. dusty

My good friend TBone told me about this site. I lost my sister to lung cancer last year. I wish I had known about this site back then. I really could have used the support so many of you give to each other.