stand4hope

Wow! I sure did like that, Ann! You are a great writer! I don't care what other people think, either, well. . . .I haven't reached the point of reckless abandon and showing the bulges in the bathing suit yet . . . but, I'll work on it! Love, Peggy

Dear Beth, This is just too much all at once. I wish there was something I could do to stop it all. Yes, I will pray for John, that he is peaceful and without pain. Please take care of yourself, too, Beth. A hot bath and chicken noodle soup will at least make that head cold feel better. Love and hugs! Peggy

Dear Pat and Brian, I am so sad to read this post tonight. I can only ditto what everyone else has said. More than anything, I hope you can get those dizzy spells and sickness to go away. I had a really bad attack of vertigo once, and it was just horrible - horrible. I don't know if regular vertigo meds will help Brian, but I sure hope there is something that will take away that horrible sickness and dizziness. I am praying for you guys. Hold hands a lot! Love, Peggy

Thank you all so much for the hugs, PMs and emails. I am just overwhelmed with your responses, especially since I have not been very active on the board. Please believe that God will reward everyone of you for your love, your kindness and your caring. I really am MORE BETTER! I have been so busy with the remodeling that I have hardly had time to take a potty break. It's going to be like this for a couple more weeks, so I probably won't be here much. I must say that the work that has been done is nothing but AWESOME. Just awesome. My sister came in and her mouth dropped open when she saw it, even at this point, while everything is still covered with drywall dust and sheets. I've had a few people ask me why I'm doing all this. I tell them because "I want to and I can." I guess they think I should shrivel up and go live in a 2-bedroom apartment. I really don't care what they think because I have always wanted these things done. The 2-bedroom (or 1-bedroom) apartment will come some day, but not now, and when it does, I'll be ready for it. I'm pushing 57, not 67, 77 or 87 - not yet. I'm just not quite ready to give it all up. When I think about what Don would think about all this, I think he would smile and be proud of me, and love the way it looks. In fact, I think he is smiling now and loving me with all his heart. I also know he would be growling about the money I've spent. LOL! But, like always, he would get over it, and just love the way it looks. You are all in my prayers, and especially those of you who are hurting and struggling right now - Pat and Brian, Addie, Jen, Beth and Bill, Joyce, Nancy, Tina and Charlie, Lynne, Ann, Cindi, etc., etc. - I can't name all of you, but you are all so very, very special. And to all you new people - there are so many of you, my heart and prayers are with you. You'll be ok. Just stay close to this board. I love you ALL with all my heart. I'll be popping in and will hopefully be able to start catching up with posts in a couple of weeks. Here come a gazillion hugs right back atcha! ((((((((((((((((((((((((MY FRIENDS)))))))))))))))))))) Love to all, Peggy

Dear Addie, If the sun is shining where you are, then I will even get on that ugly bus and hold Frank's Bud Lite so he can sing a little. Speaking of sun, just hearing you tonight has brought some sunshine back into my day. You are such an incredible blessing. Get well soon, Addie, very soon! Love, Peggy

Maybe it's the rain. It started raining last night and is still raining and going to rain some more. Maybe it's the holidays. Maybe it's some issues brewing at work. Maybe it's that winter's coming. Maybe it's . . . . . Who knows? It's just a cloudy day - in reality and in my mind. I hate driving in winter and Don always encouraged me and coached me, and would tell me take this road or stay off that road, and I always knew he would come get me if I got stuck. And now . . . . Well, it just feels like everything stinks right now. I know it will all feel better tomorrow, or as Don would say, tomorrow I will be "more better". And yes, Ry, I'm hugging you right back, as well as everyone else. And yes, Frank, guy hugs are good. In fact, I had a breakdown at my desk this morning and had my back to passers by, but our youngest and newest associate (younger than my son) got down on his knees beside me and hugged me and stayed with me for about 20 minutes. Guy hugs are good. I've always said that if it moves, I'll hug it. Thank you guys. I just needed to unload somewhere. Tomorrow will be "MORE BETTER"! Love to all, Peggy

I'm really struggling today. Can anybody spare a hug?

Don was a Vietnam veteran and very patriotic. At his funeral, a woman spoke that worked with him for years and said that if you cut Don, he would have bled red, white and blue! He wouldn't allow any kind of stickers on our automobiles, but he had a small American flag on his truck, my car and his motorcyle. He would only wear plain colored T-shirts and sweatshirts, but he would wear them if they had an American flag on them. Last year on Veteran's Day, our son gave Don a card, and Don was very touched. He said nobody had ever given him a Veteran's Day card. Mike recalled that this morning and became very emotional. We miss him so much. Thank you for this tribute to our veterans, Fay. Thank you to all veterans. We love you! Peggy

Thank you Paul and Bibala. I LOVE YOU, ADDIE! Peggy

"P" is for Peggy. JUST KIDDING! "P" is for positive. My dad always said, "Think positive, baby, think positive!" Peggy

Tolerance and acceptance of each other's faults. I mean REAL acceptance. In other words, it's the way it is and don't try to change him or her. I came from a very laid back, fun-type family - no rules, no discipline, etc. Don came from a very serious, more stern-type family with very disciplined, rigid work ethics, etc. Our personalities reflected these two backgrounds and, in the beginning, the clash was profound. He couldn't accept my it's-not-a-big-deal attitude, and I couldn't accept him getting angry and making-a-big-deal-out-of-little-things attitude. It took a lot of work, but we learned to accept each other the way we were and, in time, he settled down some and I changed, too, and it ended up that my laid-back, softer personality would calm him down, and his outspoken personality helped me in many ways. It would have been real easy after the first few years for both of us to have walked, but we didn't. We really learned to accept each other just the way we were and we never, never, never cussed at each other or called each other names. I think what really happened was that we both DID change, but we changed ourselves, not each other. You just cannot change another person, and if you try, it's disaster. Love to all, Peggy

I once was a cocktail waitress. When my husband was stationed in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma, I couldn't find work because we were "transients", so I worked as a cocktail waitress at the NCO club for three weeks until Don got into a fight with some guy that was flirting with me. Tee hee! Love, Peggy

Dear Addie, It breaks my heart to know that you are having all this trouble and feeling so poorly. It really does. Taxotere is one of the toughest chemos to get, but it's also one of the toughtest ones to kill the disease. Hang in there, hon, and please feel my not-so-strong, but loving arms wrapped around you in a big hug. Love, Peggy

Hi Manda, Welcome to LCSC. I hope you hear really good results this afternoon from your dad's scans. We all worry a lot at scan time and usually feel a lot better after we get the results because things are either better or you at least know what you need to fight in the months ahead. I noticed you are in Indiana. I live in Indiana, too, and I would guess that you are probably close to my son's age. He's 28. Where do you live in Indiana? If you don't want to post it publically, send me a PM and we can compare Indiana doctors or something. Take care, Manda, and keep us posted. Love, Peggy

I actually turned my head and one of my dogs jumped up on the desk and hit the mouse TWO times and here I was! Love, Anonymouse (giggle)

We lost 5 dogs in 37 years (Pug, Poppy, Fuzzy Butt, Gretchen, and Shelby). I cried and cried over each one of them. The last one, Shelby, was the hardest! They were all good dogs, good friends and we loved them to pieces. I now have two dogs, Lady and Daisy and they are my "bestest buddies." I am glad to hear that Arrow is feeling better today. I just bet she has more time than you think, Leslie. Dogs just have an incredible ability to bounce back and give you more of their love. Love, Peggy

Don't feel bad, Muriel, I got 0, too!! Peggy

Kathi, I love the holidays and am going to do EVERYTHING I can to make them enjoyable in spite of our loss. I know Don would not want me to change anything because he knew how much I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm having a huge crowd of 23 for dinner Thanksgiving (well, actually the Friday after Thanksgiving). I plan to have them all back for Christmas. My son, however, isn't so enthusiastic. Last year he had moved to Arizona in November and we told him if he went then that he wouldn't be able to come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, to which he very much agreed. Now he blames ME that he didn't get to have Christmas with his dad last year because it was ME who wouldn't let him come home. Actually, it was mostly Don. As Christmas got closer, he pushed for a ticket to come home, but it was next to impossible to get a flight, and even if we did find a seat, I think it was going to cost $600-$800. Don told him NO WAY! He told him that he knew when he went out there that he wouldn't be able to come home. He actually had a very nice Christmas with some friends out there and even bragged about sitting out in the sun around a swimming pool on Christmas Day. But now, it's another reason for him to be angry about something else. He doesn't want to have anything to do with the holidays and says he isn't even coming to my *#%^&@ house for Thanksgiving. I told him "WHATEVER!" Just wait - he'll be here! Love to all, Peggy

Hi Holly, I'm so sorry you lost your mom at such a young age, and that your beautiful mom was so young, too. I, too, remember her well, and even went back and read her posts today. She was so pretty and fought so hard. There was one post where she said she was very close to you, her 14-year-old daughter at the time. She loved you so much, and your brother and sister. I'm sure it was hard for you to post this and I bet you think about your mom day and night. I'm so sorry, honey, and I am sending you a big hug. I recently lost my husband, so I am grieving right along beside you. I know it hurts. Your brother and sister will need you for a long time to help them, and to help them remember every little wonderful detail about their mom. I know you will do a good job with them - I can just tell. Love, Peggy

Hang in there sweet Addie! Tomorrow is another day, and as long is there is another tomorrow, there is always hope to get better and to feel better. I wish you hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of feeling better tomorrows! Love and hugs, Peggy

I know that after I die, and after those that know and love me have died, that I will be an unknown person whose name is simply writtin on somebody's family history tree. BUT, you've heard of the domino effect, right? Well, picture a long row of dominoes falling over one at a time after the first one is pushed. I believe that God created each and every one of us for a purpose. My hope would be that He used me at least for one thing I said or did that helped somebody else, and they passed it on and it helped somebody else, and they passed it on . . . . It doesn't matter that whoever receives it doesn't know it originated with me, just so long as the "thing" passed on keeps going and going like the domino effect. That would make me very, very happy! Love to all, Peggy

Dear Pat, I am so sorry you are having all these worries and fears. My heart is crying with yours. I'm praying that Brian is simply having a bad reaction to a drug that's working. Much love to you, Peggy

It makes me so happy to know that you are able to focus on this, Beth. Hopefully, I can get my arms around this attitude some day, too, and it will help. I'm so glad to hear that Bill's pain is being managed. It upsets me so much when I read about the ones where they can't seem to control the pain. I, too, wouldn't worry too much about the food, especially if it will upset him and cause any aggravation. I do like the idea, though, about putting it out there and maybe it will sound good or look good and he'll try it. I know if I had tried to push food on Don when he didn't want it, or if anyone tried to push it on me that I would be aggitated. Have you ever had someone coax and coax to try to get you to try something that you know you will hate. LOL! I hate that! Beth, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Bill every single day. Please stay in touch! Love, Peggy

Dear Cindi, Don's symptom was a headache - constant and severe. Actually, that's how he was diagnosed. He had headaches for years and blamed it on sinus and took OTC sinus meds a LOT. The headache started, gradually got worse, was in one spot right behind his right eye, and lasted for several weeks before he got the MRI. Cindi, get the MRI. Better safe than sorry. If it isn't brain mets, then a big wooppee to that, but if it is, better to find those pests early and GET RID OF THEM. Hang in there! Love, Peggy

CLC I don't think that severe pain in the head is common with radiation, especially that the pain is being caused by the "radiation breaking up the tumors". That's a new one. She should be on Decadron (steroids) during radiation and for a while after. Check to be sure that she is taking steroids daily. The pain may be caused by swelling. Many people on here, including my husband, have had radiation to their brain, and the most common side effect is fatigue, sometimes nausea (but not very often), but also just feeling crappy. It sounds to me like a nursing home would be a better option since hospice is, generally, for those who are in the end stages or will no longer be receiving treatments. Love, Peggy