stand4hope

Hi Val, You've got lots of different spins on this issue, and I'll give you yet another one, which may not apply in your case at all. My mother was always very critical of me. I could never do anything right, or even if it was something wonderful I had accomplished, she would downplay it. I don't know why, but I've given lots of different theories from jealousy to trying to get the attention off me and onto my sisters. I have no doubt that my mother loved me, but she treated me that way, anyway. I also know that my grandmother did the same thing to her daughter. My grandmother was the sweetest grandma in the world, but my aunt (her daughter) always got her bad side and the criticism. In both cases, the moms were bossy and critical of the daughters they loved. I was the one that was my mother's caregiver the last two weeks before her death - there was no one else available. We had our moments, but most of the time, I just let my mom be the boss, whether I agreed or not. This really wasn't a problem because believe me, NOBODY ever told my mom what to do anyway. It was her way or the highway. We also bonded during that time, something which we hadn't ever done before. I do know 100%, though, that if my mom's sister had been in town, that my mom would have preferred her to take care of her. Again, I don't know why, but that's just the way it was. I do totally agree with everything that Fay said, but I thought that if my relationship with my mom was anything like yours, then it might help you to understand that sometimes mothers are just critical of their daughters. I think sometimes it's the same way between fathers and sons. Hang in there, kiddo. Just smile and be there for your mom, and try to not be so hard on yourself. Love, Peggy

It feels really good to finish a treatment of chemo, doesn't it? Time to kick back and relax and forget it all for a while. Congratulations, Don! Love, Peggy

Dear Jana and Karen, I, too, will be hoping for better news soon. I know how much you both love your Mum and how much this hurts. I am so sorry she is having such a rough time. You are all in my prayers. Love, Peggy

Ok: Here are a couple of "real" recipes: The apple crisp recipe below was given to me by my mother-in-law. It is wonderful!! The Jello recipe is from my sister-in-law and was one of the few things my husband would eat when he was on chemo. Apple Crisp In buttered 10 in. x 6 in. x 2 in. baking dish: Spread 4-5 cups of sliced apples Sprinkle with 1 tsp. cinnamon and 1 tsp. salt Pour ¼ cup of water on top Mix together in a separate dish: ¾ cup flour 1 cup sugar 1/3 cup butter Drop mixture over apples and bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes *********************************************** Cherry Jello w/cream cheese topping 6 oz. pkg cherry Jello 1 can cherry pie filling 2 cups boiling water Small can crushed, drained pineapple 8 oz. pkg softened cream cheese 1/3 cup sugar Chopped pecans (1 or 2 small packages) 8 in. x 12 in. dish Dissolve Jello with boiling water Add pie filling and pineapple Chill until set In separate bowl: Mix cream cheese with 1/3 c. sugar Spread over top of Jello Sprinkle top with chopped peacns

This recipe should go under "Meals in 20 Minutes or Less" Ingredients: One pair of shoes One vehicle (size does not matter) One key to the vehicle One or two gallons of gasoline (probably unleaded) $10 to $20 (any denomination) 10-20 minutes Procedure: Put on shoes Pick up key Walk to vehicle Drive to MacDonalds drive-up window (5-7 minutes) Order food at window and wait (3-5 minutes) Drive home (5-7 minutes) EAT FOOD AND ENJOY! Throw trash in trash can Take nap on couch Bumpity up, up, up

Mare, what a great picture. You are so pretty, and your granddaughter is ADORABLE!! Thanks for sharing the picture! Love, Peggy

Hi Rachel, Drop the zero on that 50, and you've got my limit. I've already said a prayer for a clean MRI. I also pray that you can find out what's causing the pain and GET RID OF IT!! Take care, and keep us posted. Love, Peggy

Hi Fred, Your wife is DELIGHTFUL and I'm so glad you (and now you) joined this family of love and support. I'm sorry I couldn't come up with the "Bingo" answer to fix your "view all posts" problem. Any luck with deleting all the files (clearing cache)? Anyway, so glad you're here. You and I are have the same role as caregivers, and the job of loving our spouses back to good health. Stay in touch. Love, Peggy

Hi Karen, It's so good to hear from you. I sent you an email at work a couple of days before David died, so I expect it will still be there when you get back to work. I'm actually glad to hear that you have all this work to do to keep busy. Ginny has said numerous times that the key to keeping on after losing a spouse is to keep busy. Well, you certainly have quite a large number of things to keep you busy for a while. Like Shellie said, though, I think a time could be coming where it might get a little tougher. Maybe not. I hope not, but if it does, we're here for you. Take care of yourself, Karen, and give Faith a big hug from me. Love, Peggy

The nurse just called. They are going to treat five areas. I asked if that meant the others were too small (which they probably are), and she said that he didn't say. He just said "We're going to treat 5 areas." She also warned that he has to be fitted with the halo at 7:30 a.m., but won't get wheeled in for the treatment until late afternoon. I told hubby we'd take a varity of pillows and find something that works so he can be more comfortable. For anyone curious what the halo looks like, here's a link that contains a picture: http://radsurg.ufl.edu/patient/understanding.html I'm feeling better now. Thanks again for listening. Love to all, Peggy

Thank you everybody. I'm still waiting to hear. I talked to the Novalis nurse again this morning. She's just wonderful, so I know she will keep after him until he studies the films and calls me, or has her call me. My lunch break is over, so got to get back to work, but as soon as I talk to someone and get the plan, I'll let you know. Also, I did have a hard time getting to sleep and had a restless night, but I'm feeling more calm today. Thanks again! Love to all, Peggy

Pam, I'm going to stick my neck out here, but I just don't understand this. I've never heard of a doctor telling a patient when they have to go on disability. The last I heard, I think that's the patient's choice. Also, my husband's brain has been involved for almost 2 years (well, that's questionable - LOL!), and he has worked almost continuously. Am I missing something here? Do you want to stop working? Do you feel well enough to work? I just don't get it. Have you thought about a second opinion? Again, my plan isn't to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong - I just don't understand. Love and hugs, Peggy

Fay, I haven't had anything quite that horrible happen, but there have been times when the doctors will look at me when they talk instead of hubby. I will direct my eyes to hubby and that will always cause the doctor to also switch his attention to hubby and off of me. Any chance you could prompt your husband that if that happens again that he should take the lead and direct it right back to you. Or better yet, you could say something like: "HELLO! Wakey, Wakey Dr. Compassion! He's not the patient here." Love and hugs to you, dear Fay. Peggy

Tell Tyler I said he hasn't changed a bit. Cute! Cute! Cute! Happy Birthday, Tyler! Love, Peggy

Thank you, Maryanne. Shellie, those words brought the tears. Sending love and prayers for Cathy and her family. Love, Peggy

Cindi, It's so nice to get such an encouraging update. I was really worried about you when you moved. Keep us posted on the scans. Love, Peggy

Dear Pam, I am so sorry to hear this, and that your precious sister suffered so much. How very sad. At least now she is pain free. I'm so glad both sisters and daughters were able to be there. May God bless you with his comfort. Love, Peggy

I desperately need your calming words. I got the results and the CD for the stereotactic MRI (thinner slices) for Don's stereotactic radiosurgery, which is scheduled for Monday, and I'm more nervous than ever. It's a very short, nonspecific report (I HATE IT WHEN WE GET THOSE). In March and June, the regular MRIs defined 3 specific tumors, complete with measurements. The 4th one is visible on the CD, but small compared to the others and was not defined. This report refers to SIX specific "areas". And to make matters worse, it doesn't even say there are only six tumors. It says: "There are multiple enhancing masses again noted. . . .larger areas in blah blah blah, and . . . Small areas in blah blah blah. It then names SIX locations where these "areas" or "multiple masses" are located. It doesn't say how many masses there are. It's making me crazy. I called the Novalis nurse today and she is going to have the Novalis onc call me tomorrow or Friday after he looks at the films. She said it "could" change things for Monday, but she said he would decide after looking at the MRI films. The bad news for me is that if they go ahead and treat all these places, I'm a nervous wreck because there are so many, and four of them have been treated before with SRS (one is 4 cm.) increasing the risk, and he has also had WBR, which also increases the risk. AND if they DON'T treat at all and cancel it, I'll be even more upset. I've always been glad for a plan, but I'm sure nervous about this plan. I told Don and he said he didn't want to hear it. Has anybody else ever had the same tumors treated two times with SRS, and especially one that is 4 cm.? I'm really upset. Going to bed. Love to all, Peggy

Cheryl, Better safe than sorry. You did a good thing looking into it. I'm glad the doc thought things were ok. Love and hugs, Peggy

TAnn, Don was given a new medication called Palladone for his hip pain. It was taken just once a day and after he started it, he didn't have to take the hydrocodone at all. It's a controlled substance and you have to get the scrip from the doctor (they can't call it in). The side effects are listed here, but Don had absolutely no side effects at all and it didn't make him sleepy. He took it every morning. There were precautions with the medicine that the patient should have been prescribed oxycodone or the drerivates of prior to taking palladone to know that the patient could tolerate this class of drugs. Don had NEVER taken oxycodone previously, but had no trouble with the medicine. Also, you can't take it with other opiates, so I don't think you could take it at the same time as oxycontin or oxycodone. Good stuff! Here are a couple of links: http://www.fda.gov/bbs/topics/ANSWERS/2 ... 01315.html http://www.purduepharma.com/pressroom/n ... 924-01.htm Love, Peggy

P.S. Carls, the literature also says the most common problem with Alimta is myelosuppression. I copied the definition below. As you can see, this is also primarily an issue with the blood. Again, I think maybe this is why your father's onc is cautious about using Alimta with brain mets. Your dad and your family, and the onc, will need to weigh all the issues with your dad, including the weakness and oxygen, in order to make a decision. myelosuppression The suppression of bone marrow activity, resulting in reduction in the number of platelets, red cells and white cells found in the circulation.

Carls, I answered your PM to me on this also, but wanted to put it here, too, so others could read what I think about this: I don't know anything about Avastin - my husband isn't on it - at least not yet, but the onc did mention it as another resource if we need it at a later time. Also, Carls you mention that your father is weak and on oxygen. You don't mention his age, but I wonder if his onc isn't taking into consideration his overall health and age. Fortunately, my husband is only 57 and has a very high performance rating. He was in excellent health at diagnosis, and even now, other than the cancer and treatment side effects, he is still very healthy. I sure hope you get some answers for your father very soon. Love, Peggy

ROFL!!!!!!!! I've got to remember than one. Thanks, Ellen! Love, Peggy

TAnn, Call the doctor. Right now. They can't give you the stronger stuff over the phone, but maybe he'll send you to ER or meet you there to give you a stronger prescription. Do it now! That's an order! By the way, I don't see in your profile that you have had a PET scan. Have you ever had one? Love, Peggy

Gay, Thank you for the update on Dean. I'm so glad he's doing ok, and I'm especially glad that you were there to put out the fire. Both of you take care and Happy 4th of July! Love, Peggy