stand4hope

Karen and Jana, This is just absolutely WONDERFUL!!! Give your mum a HUGE hug from me. I'm praying we get to hear the shrinkage word on our next results, too. I love to hear that word! Maybe the next time it will be NED. That will be even better! Woohoo! Congratulations! Love, Peggy

Beth, I saw this on my lunch hour today and laughed out loud. I couldn't write then, but wanted you to know I came home and told hubby about it. He laughed, too. Di: He laughed again when I told him about your reply. Thanks for the laughs! I really needed them today! Love, Peggy

I ditto, ditto, ditto Sharon's post. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, JOE! Love, Peggy

Dean, I think the only thing I've stuck to for 25 years has been my marriage. I can't even stay on a diet for 25 days without cheating. LOL! THREE CHEERS FOR DEAN!! Love, Peggy

Beth, My husband didn't like it because it took so long and they wouldn't let him move at all. He said it's very small and tight. Said he felt like a sausage. He's not claustrophic, so that was ok. He was just uncomfortable and didn't like it. I'm claustrophic, so they would have to drug me! LOL!! It will be over before you know it! Love, Peggy

Hi Nenette, I just wanted to check back with you. On Nov. 5, you sent me a PM with a lot of questions and I answered that same day. I notice you haven't picked up the PMs and I was wondering if everything is ok. When you get time, please let us know how your mom is doing. Love, Peggy

Kim, I agree with Ry. There must be some type of pain management treatment available at the hospital, and I hope they don't release her until her pain is under control. It really upsets me when I hear of people having pain when there are so many things available to control it. I can identify with your exhaustion. I had similar circumstances when my dad was hospitalized for 6 months. I found that I could go and go and go, but then would just drop with exhaustion for a day or so. During that time I was also going to all my husband's chemo treatments and doctor visits, dealing with an adult son who was not coping well with his dad's lc, and working a full time job. Even with all that, nothing or nobody could stop me from doing what I could for my dad. I know that recommending you slow down or take a break is a waste of my breath, because I was told to do the same thing and wouldn't stop doing everything I felt I had to do. There was one person in my family that caused me even more stress by continually telling me I didn't HAVE to be there with my dad so much. All it did was make me mad. Of course, I had to be with my dad that much. Some of his most basic needs weren't even being attended to because of the shortage of nurses (no blame here - it's just fact), and if I didn't make the long drive almost every day to do some of those things, I shudder to think of how miserable he would have been. Even if I had to do it all over again now, I wouldn't do anything differently. We do what we have to do or what is in our heart to do and somehow we get the strength to make it through the days. I would suggest that you at least take vitamins, try to cat nap when you can, eat nutritiously and pray for strength. My heart and prayers are with you, and please let us know when they either determine the cause of your mom's pain and get that pain under control. Love, Peggy

This is the kind of news we love to hear! Congratulations, and have a Happy Thanksgiving! Love, Peggy

Lisa, It sounds like this whole nightmare could be coming to an end - that is what I am praying for. I also hope that if you continue to feel threatened by the local family as well as those overseas that you will report the harrassment to the police. I believe in expecting the best but preparing for the worst, so I hope you will keep copies of the threatening emails as well as keep a diary of all this. I can tell from our phone conversation that you are intelligent as well as diligent, and I'm sure you will remain alert and cautious. As to Ahmed, it's so good to hear that he is eating and that he has been given hope for recovery. It's so sad that the other doctors weren't willing to even provide him with comfort care, short of hospice. If not for your diligence, Ahmed wouldn't stand a chance. And also, I thank God for your wonderful, upbeat family. Their presence and sacrifice is a blessing. I'm glad to hear that Tariq is coping well, too. No 14-year-old (or anybody any age, actually) should have to see, hear, feel and experience what this young man has. I'm grateful to know that he is such a strong young man and that he is close enough to you and Ahmed to talk to you about his feelings. May God bless you with His love, strength and comfort. Love, Peggy

Hello Ken, We don't have any experience with surgery in our battle with lc, but I wanted to pop on here and give you a big welcome to LCSC. Prayers being said that surgery goes well and don't forget to come back and tell us how you're doing. God bless you and WELCOME! Peggy

YAHOO!! Karen and Becky, I am so glad to hear that big guy is home where he belongs! Give him hugs from me, and tell him we look forward to hearing from him soon. Love, Peggy

Irene, You've received good advice here, and a second opinion is always a good idea, especially if you maybe find yourself questioning the treatment you are receiving. I do have one question. If you already received taxol and have had very little shrinkage, I'm curious why you are going to get taxol again instead of them trying one or two of the other potions out there (i.e., Gemzar, Alimta, Cisplatin, Navelbine, Taxotere)? Could you have possibly meant to type something besides "taxol" that you are about to receive? I have limited knowledge as to why oncs pick or choose what they use, and even more limited knowledge about why. LOL! I was just wondering. I do think I've heard that Taxotere is very similar to Taxol and Alimta is supposed to be similar to Taxotere with less side effects. Maybe one or combination of something different would be worth asking about. Best of luck to you, Irene, and please stay in touch with us. Love, Peggy

Heather, I have been reading and re-reading your post and the replies. Your mom is the same age as me, so I would imagine you are probably about the same age as our son, and your sad heart touches me deeply. I have absolutely nothing that I can add to all the beautiful words of advice that the others have given you here. The words of Margaret, Pam and Mirrell and the others are right on target. None of us can tell you that any of this is easy to get through because it isn't. It's hard - plain and simple. But all of us here, as caregivers, are struggling and being as strong as we can be and get up and face each day with as much courage as we can find. Like Margaret said, some days will be darker and others will be brighter. And like Mirrell said, don't worry about pretending to be strong. Just be as strong as you can, and if you aren't, that's ok. Trust me, please. I'm a mom, and I know. It's ok. Just be however you are. Hold her, love her, hug her, pamper her, sing to her, rub her feet, and wipe her brow. It will make both of you feel better. I know because I did ALL of those things for both my mom and dad. All my love and prayers are reaching to heaven for you, Heather. Love, Peggy

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!! Sharon, this is just absolutely wonderful!!!! Love, Peggy

Oh, my, Joyce. This is such wonderful news. I know how worried you've been. Oncodoc said something like, "we can live forever on stable." Give Steve a big hug and a big smile from me! Love, Peggy

Great news! Thanks for letting us know. Love, Peggy

Kathleen, I think all of the ideas above will give your dad a place to go if he wants to go, but I have a little different spin on this. Since, it's only been 3 weeks since your mom died, I don't know that your dad's behavior is anything other than normal. I'm assuming that they must have been married for a pretty long time, and being depressed and grieving over the loss of a spouse is very normal. Not only is your dad only 50 years old, but he's 50 years old. In other words, he's not very old, yet he's old enough to be very mature. Unless he's showing signs of clinical depression, which you don't mention, I would move cautiously. He needs to deal with his grief in his own way, and the loss of a spouse is a horrible grieving process to go through. I think that if he wants to be alone, you should leave him alone - to a point. I'm 55 years old and if I told my family I wanted to be alone, I would darn well expect them to respect that request - again, to a point. If he starts to completely isolate himself, then intervention might be necessary, but since it's only been three weeks, I think he needs more time. Just my two cents. With love, Peggy

Oh, WOW, Karen. That is WONDERFUL news. I'm so glad to hear that David is feeling so good. Get him home soon and tell him to drop us a line. I'm happy for you, too. I can only imagine how relieved you must be. Love, Peggy

Joni, I'm so sorry for your loss. My hubby and I have been married for 37 years, and I, too, can't imagine being without him. I know, though, that if something happens to him, or vice versa, that we will both eventually move forward and focus on the ones that are still here that we love so much. You will eventually be able to do that for your boys. Whether your sons are grown or not, they still need you! Your grandson needs you! I'm sure there are many family and friends that need you and love you. We need you here, too. There are many grieving spouses here that need your support, as well as you needing them, so please hang on tight. It will take a while, but it will get better. Again, I am so sorry for your loss! God bless you, Peggy

Oh my goodness, Lisa. I read this right after you posted it, but the site wasn't working right. I hope you are still able to read all of our replies. I am just overwhelmed with what is happening at your house. What a horrendous nightmare. It's a good thing all of us weren't there. We would have collectively kicked their you-know-whats. I am so sorry that Ahmed is having such a hard time. You must be so stressed yourself. Please keep us posted, and by the way, if you're comfortable to do so, PM me your phone number so I can call you if you can't get to the site. You have all my love and prayers, Peggy

Shelly, I'm feel so bad that you have to face the upcoming holidays without your mom and dad, and also the worry that I know you have for your sister. As I began to plan Thanksgiving, I told my husband that I didn't know if I could do it without my dad. He just loved Thanksgiving and just loved the food and always took a big plate of leftovers home with him. I decided that I just had to do it though, especially for the kids in our family. We also invited another couple and their older children that are on my husband's side of the family, and I'm hoping this will help fill the void of my mom, dad and grandmother not being there, and also, now, our son since he moved to Arizona. So, instead of 8 people, we will have 13, and I'm happy about that. I decided the only way I could do it was to have enough people here and enough activity and kids that we (my little family now) could focus on all of that rather than the 4 empty chairs. If you lived closer, I would invite you to our house, and if you want to make the trip to Indiana, you are most definitely invited. I cook a mighty fine turkey and more extra food than we ever need, so you would be more than welcome. One thing that is taught in our church is to sit down with a piece of paper and write down every little thing you can think of to be thankful for - everything, including people, family, friends, health and everything else including food to eat and having warm clothes to wear this winter. Making a list of everything you DO have in your life to be thankful for should help a little with the magnitude of what you have lost. Sending you all my love and compassion, plus prayers for a happy holiday season! Love, Peggy

Hi Dean, It's good to hear from you. My husband filled our bird feeder last weekend, and I think they all must have been waiting for a week or two because within 15 minutes after he came in the house, they were all over that bird feeder. Di: It's easy: The red ones are redbirds, the blue ones are bluebirds, the black ones are blackbirds, and the brown ones are sparrows! Piece of cake! Anybody can do it! Love, Peggy

Dear Amanda, Of course, nothing about cancer is good, but the word "tiny" to most of us here is VERY GOOD! My husband has NSCLC, but my understanding is that SCLC is more receptive to chemo and the chances of knocking that tiny place to hell are excellent. SCLC, however, is also more aggressive and grows more rapidly, so she will need to get started on her treatments as soon as possible. She will get to meet our friend NED (No Evidence of Disease) before you know it. I know that my words will sound really foreign to you since you are just getting started in this with your mom, and I also know how worried you must be, but you must believe us that the fact that the cancer is so small and caught early is really good news! Please stay with us and keep us posted. We are here to help you through your fears, the scary nights, the long days, and believe it or not, I promise you, we will make you laugh! God bless you, Peggy

Beth, I don't blame you for being mad. I think her statement translates to "There's a strong possibility that this could all be in her mind." When you were screaming, crying and writhing in pain, it could hardly even be a consideration that it could be in your mind. I would assume that since the doctor was clueless as to what was causing your severe pain, since she had never seen this happen before, that she felt she had to give some type of explanation. Some doctors probably would not like to write in a patient's record that they "don't know" or "I'm clueless". LOL! It's easier to say "get rid of the anger" than it is to do it. I do think you should let the reactionary anger run its course before you make a decision on what, if anything, to do about the comment. Give yourself a day or two to calm down, and then if you're comfortable with it, it wouldn't hurt to just calmly talk to her about it and let her know it made you feel. I got very angry at an attorney in our office today and wish I would have taken my own advice that I just gave above. My angry comments to him were valid, and I don't take them back at all, but if I could have just calmed down before I spoke, I would feel a lot better tonight about how I reacted. I probably came across like a teenager whose hormones are break-dancing rather than the professional I should have been. Hang in there, hon. Try to get a grip on the anger as soon as you can and put this puppy to bed as soon as you can, otherwise, it could affect your cancer recovery and overall wearwithal to keep fighting. Much love! Much love! is headed your way! Peggy

It's best to get all that fluid out of there, so I'm glad to hear he's having the surgery. David, Karen and their family are definitely in my prayers. Thank you, Becky! Love, Peggy