stand4hope

Amy, WELCOME BACK! I hope you got all your work caught up and your life is a little more under control. I'm glad you found a counselor you like. I wouldn't be too hard on her about the smoking question (not that you were). I think that response is just as natural to people as the answer is to "How are you?" Smoking and lung cancer have always been associated together and the uneducated just naturally think that's the cause. I do agree that it's insensitive to ask if the person smoked, but for some reason people just don't make that connection until it's brought to their attention. People LOOK for a cause of lung cancer because they've been educated to believe there is only one cause - smoking! Yes, it's an insensitive question most of the time asked by people that are very sensitive people, and I just don't think they have a clue because they never thought about it. It's up to all of us to gently educate them and the world. So glad to see you back, Amy! Love, Peggy

There you are!! As I told you in my PM, I have been so worried about you and, even though things are really stinko for you right now, I sure am glad to hear from you. Lisa, just like the others said - you cannot keep up this pace. My instinct tells me that, particularly because of your nursing background, you might not feel comfortable with a friend or relative to help with these infusions and fluid drips, beeping machine, etc., etc. I don't know if the company that provides your supplies actually provides nursing care, but is there any chance that you can contact some type of in-home nursing service to at least give you some relief for a 6-8 hour night (or day) sleep? Will your insurance cover that? If not, maybe it would be best if he went back in the hospital until this crisis passes. Is that do-able? Please hang on and take a lot of deep breaths. You sound really stressed and if you don't get some help, I'm afraid for your health and your ability to continue to care for Ahmed and your son. By the way, how is your son coping with all this? What is his name? All my love and prayers, Lisa. Please let me know how I can help you. Love, Peggy

Randi, Just thought I'd add a comment to your last post: I guess I'd have to say my husband was a somewhat difficult person before dx, too, and I think we would normally expect them to be the same or worse. This isn't always true. Your mom was just diagnosed in September, so the reality of all this, and especially her great chances of survival, haven't really had time to hit her yet, so I think it's understandable that she's depressed and reacting this way. Even though my husband could be described as a little difficult before, he's actually softened a great deal over the past 6 months or so. He was very angry and distant for the first couple of months, so I just kept my distance and kept my mouth shut. I think I can attribute his softening, however, to this attitude: I'M ALIVE!!! He just doesn't get so angry at things anymore, and he has just been rolling with the punches of day-to-day life. He's really quite different, plays with the dogs more, is quicker to apologize if he snaps at me, isn't so rushed and demanding, etc. I will hope and pray that will also be the case for your mom. Love, Peggy

Hi ?? (could it be Sandy? or should be call you Sand?) Sounds like you've got all the bases covered - attitude, spirit, hope, determination and God! Can't do much better than that! Nope! Not really! If they don't want to eat, you can't make them. However, you can encourage them with maybe just a few bites every couple of hours, or try to find that magic food or foods that will hit the spot. Don't worry about it being nutritional - if you can get her to take a few bites of a hot fundge sundae - that's good! Don Wood will probably be on here later and he might have some ideas on how to get her to eat a little every couple of hours. Trying to get my husband to eat anything when his appetite was kaput was like declaring war between 4 walls! Bet you can't guess who wears the pants in our family. Take care, and let us know how we can help you, and WELCOME to our family. God bless you, Peggy

Dear Nenette, Welcome to this site that will soon be not "dreaded" but, hopefully, very much appreciated. I know you meant the "dreaded disease", but our site, to me, is sent by God and really helps us a lot. I think the doctor is probably accurate that there is no known cure (at least not yet) for Stage IV NSCLC, however, let me assure you that there is most definitely survival with the disease. How long is, of course, different with each individual. It sounds like you have done a substantial amount of research and you are definitely on the right track to find out all available treatments. By the way, my husband has VERY advanced NSCLC and is doing quite well. Here's a quote of mine from a different thread: It is very scary to read all the statistics and the prognosis you will find on the web, and now that you have read them, I would suggest that you take that info and destroy it. You must always have hope. You must always project that hope to your mom and your family. The fears will come back and come back and come back. That's why this website is here. Let it out here - not in front of your family. They are going to need constant encouragement. We've all been where you are and can do a lot of incredible encouraging to re-instill that hope. Just remember, a cure could hit the world next month, next week or even tomorrow. The treatments these days are amazingly wonderful compared to 20 years ago, and lung cancer patients are living longer as a result. Now, hold your head up, shoulders back, take a very deep breath and smile. You can do this! God bless you, Peggy

Hi Barb and WELCOME! That is great news to hear that after Iressa the tumor was gone! Iressa is keeping my husband stable, and I pray the same results for you. I'm glad you found us, and hope we can be of continued support. God bless you, Peggy

Hi Susan, I'm sorry to hear that you have all this to worry about, and I pray that everything is going to work out ok. I understand that SCLC is easy to knock down but likes to rear it's ugly head back again. There are many on here who have seen that ugly head a second, third and more times and keep knocking it back down. I pray the same will happen for your mom. As far as the anger goes, I have always said that "How you feel is how you fee," and right or wrong, those feelings are there and need to be dealt with. The way people feel is always based on the way they look at the situation. If you can get to the point where you understand that if you had walked in your mom's shoes, you probably would have smoked, too, then it will help to minimize the anger a great deal, if not completely remove it. I know it's easy to say - "Oh no, I wouldn't have!" Just remember the phrase, "If I had walked in HER shoes," not YOUR shoes, HER shoes. Almost all of us have made bad choices. It may not be about smoking - it might be about drinking, promiscuous behavior, 000, overspending, drug abuse, losing our temper, critical of others, even gossip. There is almost always a consequence for our bad choices, most of which most people never see coming. I think the best known phrase goes something like this: "It came back and bit me in the *ss." Accepting someone else's lifestyle choice isn't always easy, but when it comes to someone we love dearly, and even those we don't, we either choose acceptance - or not! If we choose not, then I think we fall into being judgmental, and that in itself, will come back to bite us in ........ I don't know how to help you to come to the point of acceptance. Unfortunately, there isn't such a thing as Smoke-Anon (at least I don't think there is), but Al-Anon certainly helped me with the acceptance issue with an alcoholic mother. Once I got that acceptance and if I had walked in her shoes idea, I absolutely accepted it and understood for the rest of her life. I still didn't like to be around it, and chose not to most of the time, but I did understand, was never critical or angry ever again, and loved her with all my heart! By the way, it killed her - but I still never got angry. (Note: I sure would like to burn down all the bars and liquor stores in the country, though! LOL!!) Hope this helps. God bless you, Peggy

Kitkathi, You are way too young to be shouldering all these worries, but I'm glad you are there to support and encourage your dad. You are so wise to be a member here where you can talk and ask questions and pass the info on to your dad. You're a good daughter, and I pray that your dad is going to be ok. Love, Peggy

Randi, I know there are other medications that are given for dizziness (vertigo) that work very well, i.e. Antivert, Ativan, so you might ask about those. My husband had periods of being dizzy and wobbly while on chemo/radiation and he would have to sometimes brace himself to keep his balance. He was dehyrdrated and his blood pressure was low, and two bags of fluids helped a lot. He still was told to get up slowly from a chair, etc. Hope this helps. Love, Peggy

Dear Amy, I'm so sorry to hear that your mom has something else to deal with. It really stinks when we have things like this going on in our lives and we have to be concerned about taking time off work. I do understand employers' positions because they are left high and dry without the help they need, but it still stinks!! I just wish it wasn't so. Sorry you have to deal with that when I know you want to be at your mom's side. Keep us posted. Love, Peggy

Hi Nina, I was REALLY glad to get this news a day early. I planned to watch the posts tomorrow, but this was a very pleasant surprise. I know you were very nervous about this particular scan time, and I'm thrilled that you got this news a day early! Congratulations! Love, Peggy

This is just a little late mid-month pep talk. Next Monday I'll start the "reporting in" Nov. 1 thread, but for now thought I'd pass on a 300 calorie healthy lunch/dinner idea. By the way, I'm not breaking any records this month, only down 3 pounds since Oct. 1, but I still consider that a HUGE success, especially since I've eaten not-such-good stuff on several occasions. I'll give the total loss so far next Monday. Ok, here's a good recipe that I made up that I was very good and very filling, only about 300 calories: 1 lb. ground Jennie-O turkey, scramble-cook in just a little oil w/two teaspoons of chopped onion, plus 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1 tablespoon Mrs. Dash seasoning. Drain and add 1/2 the turkey to a microwave bowl. Add 1/2 can chopped, cooked spinach. Mix together. Add 1 carton Egg Scramblers (thawed). Mix together. Microwave for 1 minute and stir. Microwave for 1 more minute and stir. Microwave for 1 more minute. Save the remaining turkey & spinach for tomorrow. What I liked about this is that it really tasted good and was very filling. See you all next Monday. There's still time to lose 1 or 2 lbs. before then, so GET GOING AND GET SMALLER!!!! Love, Peggy P.S. I have lost enough that I gave all my extra-fat clothes to Wheeler Mission today. Hopefully, in a couple more months, I can give them all my regular-fat clothes, and then a couple more months, all my medium clothes, and have a closet with only SMALLER clothes!! Also, I've gone from the 2nd notch on my belt to the 4th notch! THIS IS SO FUN!!!!

Hi Katie and WELCOME! I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this monster, but I sure am glad you found this website. There are people here who will do everything they can to help you. I agree with the others here that, if you have given us all the info, a second opinion sounds like a very good idea. Are the 3 lung lesions in the same lung? If they are, it's my understanding that would not be considered stage iv. Do you know the size of the lesions? I have heard of several who were not able to have radiation because of the location of the tumors, but again, that's a decision that would definitely warrant a second opinion. I'm glad to hear that you are getting a second opinion from the radiation onc. Best of luck and please keep us posted. God bless you, Peggy

Well, Cat, I must say that this post was refreshing, to say the least. I'm glad to hear that you are back fighting with everything you've got. Love, Peggy

Karen, I am so sorry to hear about this emergency. Please know that my prayers are with you, your dad and mom and your entire family. I know it is so hard getting through these tough times. Thank you so much for keeping us updated!! Love, Peggy

WHOA! Beth! Slow down a little! You have way too many issues to deal with. You get one all settled down and here comes another one. I don't know how you do it. You are a very strong woman! and I admire you greatly. Even with all you have going on, you still take the time to come here and let us know how you're doing. It really means a lot for you to do that, because we all really do want to know how everybody's doing. Thank you for letting us know. You go ahead and be a pain in the you-know-what. You are entitled to that. Just rest up this weekend, have your hubby go buy you some really good mushy movies and take it easy. One of Becky's big chocolote milk shakes sounds good, too. I can't remember if you're a member of the Getting Smaller Club - if so, just use low fat ice cream and 2% milk. LOL!! Love, Peggy

Rana, That is wonderful news! 20-30% shrinkage is fantastic! I bet your mom is thrilled!! God bless you, Peggy

Hi Karen, Thank you so much for your post. I sent you a PM last night because I didn't want to bother Paddy knowing she is so busy. I am happy to hear that your dad is getting in-home oxygen. My dad was on that for several years, 24/7, and he really did well with it. He could leave the house and switch to a portable for a short period of time, though. The in-home unit that he had was very easy to maintain - we just had to keep a little bottle that was attached to it filled with distilled water, and change the hoses periodically. He also had a couple of backup units in case there was a power failure. He only had to use them one time. The company that provides the unit will take care of all the rest. The hoses are so long, your dad will be able to move about the entire house, but just be careful he or no one else trips over the hose. Is there any chance your mom could call the onc and see about getting your dad on at least a low dose (2-4 mg.) of decadron to help with the breathing? I'm sorry you have to be so far away from your mom and dad and hope that you are dealing with everything ok. I know from my experience with my dad that it was so hard on my brother and sisters to be so far away. Please tell your mom and dad that I have been thinking about them and praying for them every single day. Love, Peggy

Hi Xena, I didn't see your last post here until now. I'm so sorry things aren't going well for your dad. I also hope your GP was able to help you with your own exhaustion and anxiety. Take care of yourself please, and let us know how you're doing. Love, Peggy

Dear Kel, CONGRATULATIONS on the NED report! Woohoo!! That's great news. Now, if they just get this blood clot figured out real soon, we can all pray for good winter golf scores! Let us know how she does. Love, Peggy

Hi Nicki and WELCOME! I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your wonderful mother to this horrible disease. You were so young when she died. It's never easy for any of us to lose our parents, but I think it's especially hard for people your age. You know from your own experience that the best thing you can do for your friends is to just be there for them. Hold them when they cry and touch them when they are struggling to hold themselves together. Words don't usually even need to be spoken, just being there and lots of hugs will say it all. Once again, Welcome! Please let us know how we can help. God bless you, Peggy

Hi Edward, I don't have any knowledge or answers to your questions, but I did want to welcome you to LCSC. I hope that the above posts have been able to help you, and I hope we get to hear more from you in the future. God bless you, Peggy

Bouncing this up! I really would love to hear from Lisa. I'm very concerned. Peggy

Cheryl, Congratulation on that new little filly. Have you named her yet? When my husband was in Vietnam, I lived with his family and they raised Apalloosa ponies (POAs). I remember early one morning being woke up that their new little colt, named Beau, was born. It was so exciting to be out there just after daylight looking at that cute little wobbly baby colt! Thanks for bringing back that memory. I'm also glad to hear you have stable scans, but sorry to hear about those horrible nose bleeds and the neuropathy. My husband had some neuropathy with chemo, but nothing as bad as what you describe. I hope you get an answer for that real soon. Take care of yourself! Love, Peggy

Sharon, I'm glad to hear that your dad is getting up and around, and that he is back in the fighting game. It sounds like he has been to hell and back lately, and I think it's just such a strong statement about him to know that he is up and at it!! Was your surgery something you can talk about? If not, that's ok, but I'm worried about you, too. Prayers from central Indiana all the way to heaven and back to Milford, Connecticut for your dad and for you!!!! Love, Peggy