stand4hope

Hallelujah and Praise the Lord! This is fantastic news! Please enjoy your weekend! Love, Peggy

Oh, Karen and Paddy. CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! I so much don't want to hear this. Those are strong words for me, so take them to understand how strongly I feel about David having these problems. (By the way Paddy, I didn't know Karen was your daughter. It's probably been on all of her posts and I am so unosbservant that I missed it.) Karen, your mom and I PM regularly, and I have tried to keep up with your dad's progress. I know the last couple of months have been really hard, and I am so sorry you had this scare today. I'll be praying that your dad will feel much better after the fluid is drained, as he has in the past, and I will also pray that there are no serious colon problems. Please stay calm, hug each other often and be strong for each other (and of course for your dad). All my love, Peggy P.S. Paddy, write as soon as you can.

Oh, Amy. That is just such wonderful news. What a great way to start a holiday weekend. Thanks for sharing! Love, Peggy

P.S. And to all the lurkers out there, particularly those that are Stage IV NSCLC survivors and extensive SCLC survivors, we sure wish you would come out of lurkdom and tell us your survivor stories. Please register, or if you are already registered, don't be shy - talk to us. We don't ever have to know your real name or who you are, just write to us and give us hope. Thank you and God bless you all! Peggy

Hi Hickory and WELCOME! You know, I've read what everybody else has written to you, and I've got to say that if it weren't for people like you, and the other survivors on here, this board wouldn't be the spring of hope that it is. It would be the "learning how to cope with the inevitable death" board. Thanks to good people like you and the others on here who, even though they are cured or in a long-term remission continue to post, that we can use words like "fight, NED (no evidence of disease), stable, battle, beat it, try, and even cure". If we didn't have survivors like you to refresh our spirits, we wouldn't have hope. Thanks for posting. Please stick around. God bless you, Peggy

Oh no, Kelly. I am so very sorry. May God hold you and your family close during this sad time. Love, Peggy

Cheryl, I think everything about this disease can be depressing and even stable knocks us down when we hear it because, after all the treatment and all the prayers, NED is what we really want to hear. I think your reaction today was totally normal, and then to add fuel to the fire, you had to get this "unclear" news on a holiday weekend. The important thing, of course, is just like everyone else has said, as soon as you realize that stable means life can and will go on, all of a sudden it sounds a lot better and the depression disappears. I see that in you repeatedly. You get knocked on your hiney, but in less than 24 hrs., you are coming back at this horrible disease fighting like a mama bear protecting her cubs. I do wish there was something I could say to make this weekend go faster for you. The waiting is the hardest for me, and believe it or not, right this minute, in my physical body, I can feel tension just thinking about you having to wait until Tuesday - that's how closely I can relate to the waiting for results. Other than deep breathing and relaxing your shoulders, getting engrossed in good movies or novels or crossword puzzles, or whatever it is that you know will consume your mind, there is just no easy way to get through the waiting period. My husband is as relaxed as wilted lettuce waiting for results, and he's the one with the cancer. He always says, "It's gonna be what it's gonna be, so there's no reason to sweat it." IT MAKES ME CRAZY!! Love, Peggy

Today is September 1, 2004 – the big “getting started” day? Did anyone go ahead and start before today and have GETTING SMALLER losses to report? I’m proud to report that I am 10.5 lbs. smaller than I was on July 25, 2004. Woopee! Yippee! Patting myself on the back! Now it’s your turn. Are you SMALLER or GETTING SMALLER? If not today, you will be GETTING SMALLER over the next month, and you WILL BE SMALLER on October 1. Right? Drum roll ……………………… Ready! Set! Go! Love, Peggy P.S. Here are a couple of food tips: -------Try I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter spray. 0 calories, 0 fat, 0 everything. -------Try Healthy Life High Fiber bread. Only 35 calories per slice, 0 fat, and 5 whopping GETTING SMALLER grams of fiber. --------Try Snackwells’ Devils Food Cake fat free cookies. These really aren’t very good for you, but if you have to have something ooey gooey sweet, 1 or 2 of these will do the trick (50 calories each)

Dear Angie, I read this while I was at work today, but couldn't stay online to respond. I can't believe your dad - my dad was the exact same way. He NEVER wanted to bother the doctors or nurses with anything. It made me crazy. He would say things like, "Well, he's a busy man." or "I'm not the only patient in the hospital." I would ask him if he told the doctor about a certain problem, and he would say "No, he seemed like he was in a hurry." Geesh! One day he really surprised me. He had his light on for assistance for an hour and a half and nobody came, and he really needed help bad. He finally took his water pitcher (half full) and threw it as hard as he could out in the hall. He got attention! Sometimes it takes drastic measures to get the attention that's required, but where there's a will, there's a way. You've got the will, so there will be a way! Much love, Peggy

Andrea, I was glad to see this post. I could tell from some of your other posts that your mom was really suffering from the side effects of Iressa. Since she didn't want to stop taking it, it really says a lot about her as being a very strong and determined lady. I know you are so proud of her 24 hours a day. Since she's NED, she will be ok off medication for a while and it will be good that she will start feeling better and you guys can do some more S--H--O--P--P--I--N--G!!!!!! Love, Peggy

Hi Mona and WELCOME! You're right. This disease isn't fair, but like so many other things, we just have to play the cards that are handed to us whether we like them or not. I can so much identify with your husband never even needing an aspirin. We've been married for almost 37 years and my husband wasn't even in the computer for ever having filled a prescription. He's never sick, only missed a few days of work in those 37 years and was as strong as an ox, and then WHAMMY he gets a cancer diagnosis. Incredible! You can bet your bippy that the pharmacy and the insurance company know his name now. I'm sorry your husband had a crummy night after finally getting to have a good evening. The first few months for us were terrible during treatment, but after the major treatment periods ended, things have gotten a lot better. I pray the same will happen for you! Keep us posted, please! God bless you, Peggy

Pam, It's ok to hurt and it's ok to hurt a lot. I have had many "moments" since my dad died in June. I liked what Paige's counselor said: That's exactly what happens to me. I also do what Katie describes: "I grieve in bite-size moments." I'm over it pretty quickly because I make myself be over it. I can't stand to be so sad and I've learned how to efficiently shut it off. I don't always think this is healthy, though. It is good to get it out because otherwise we end up with pent-up emotions and I don't think that's good for us. I also remember having a moment like Curtis described after my mom died. I was in the grocery store and everything seemed so wrong. I, too, felt like everyone in the store should feel my sadness, and it just felt odd.Time will heal. I healed from the death of my mom, I will eventually heal from the death of my dad, and Pam, you will eventually feel better, too, but right now your feelings couldn't be more normal. Love and prayers, Peggy

Several people have advised that we caregivers should try to be as normal as possible with the loved one with cancer because they don’t always like to be treated like they are sick or different. I learned a lesson last night. I started having foot pain as soon as I got home from work. It got increasingly worse as the evening progressed until it was quite swollen, red, hot, and very painful. About 10:45 p.m., it was so bad that I decided I better go to ER and get it checked because I could barely walk on it. My first thought was that it was a stress fracture. I didn’t want to wake my husband because he had gone to bed at 6:30 because he was so tired after work, so I took myself to ER and left him a note. It was my left foot, so I didn’t need it to drive. It turns out it was gout. I left him another note when I got home (1:30 a.m.) and told him what it was and why I was sleeping on the couch because if anybody touched my foot they would have to die, and closed the note with a big smiley face. To make a long story short, he was upset because I didn’t wake him up to take me to ER. And then he excessively fussed over me and even sent me an email and told me to leave work early and get off my feet, even after I told him the medicine had worked quickly like they said it would and it didn’t hurt anymore. I thought about it all day and realized that “before cancer” I would have woke him no matter how tired he had been, and even if I insisted I was ok to take myself, I would have at least told him what was going on. In other words, I treated him differently, and “I treated him like he had cancer.” He's always taken good care of me anytime I have been sick or had surgeries, and I also deprived him of that. I think it kind of also could have said that I didn't need him. The truth is, I DID need him. The last thing I wanted to do was go to ER by myself, and especially that late at night since I have to take so many dark country roads to get there and get back home. I also did a similar thing a couple of months ago. For 36 years, he has always taken out the trash to the street for pickup and carried heavy trash bags from the house to the garage, and I only took the regular ones out. I had been carrying the heavy stuff out for several months. He snapped at me a couple of months ago and asked what the *@!*# I thought I was doing and he would get those! So now, I leave the heavy bags in the kitchen and he takes them out. Again, I was treating him like he had cancer, and he was insulted. I’m sure there are some out there that love to be fussed over and have extra attention, but my husband certainly isn’t one of them. I'm also sure there is a fine line, too. We don't want them to think we don't care and their cancer doesn't matter, so I guess we caregivers just have to learn where that fine line is with our loved ones. Love to everyone, Peggy

Has anybody heard if Scott got to go home today? Peggy

Heather, I do understand how you feel. I remember when my husband's largest brain tumor shrunk 30% after WBR and I sat and cried in the oncologist's office. It really took him by surprise, but he was very kind and understanding. I cried because I wanted it to be totally gone. I wanted them all to be totally gone! I didn't understand then what I do now - SHRINKAGE IS GOOD! SHRINKAGE IS VERY, VERY GOOD! I would now love to get a report like your mom got and to hear that something is gone! I know it's easy to get depressed because we so badly want there to just be absolutely nothing. Maybe the next time that will be the case for your mom. I will pray that it will be so. In the meantime, try as hard as you can to be excited about this and transfer that excitement and hope to your mom. Much love and prayers coming your way, Peggy

HALLELUJAH! It's about time things started going better for you, Karen. I hope your mom's recovery is fast and effective. Much love, Peggy

Charlotte, I'm so sorry. Read Fall54's post under Those Who Have Lost a Loved One to LC. I think it was called Empty Chair. There's a verse in the poem underneath the story about God getting you through it that I think applies to your situation. He will get you through it. Love and Hugs, Peggy

Ditto the WOW! Jane, that was beautiful! Love, Peggy

Well, crapola! Ray, I'm sorry it just seems like something else keeps coming up. Tonight, when I say my prayers, I am going to ask God to get right in the middle of this new situation. Everything will be ok. Love, Peggy

Oh, Bill. I absolutely didn't mean any offense, and of course, you can ask such a question here and feel comfortable to do so. Some might respond and give you their experiences. I was only supporting Tina in her statement that she hadn't heard of it, because we really don't hear too much about it on here. We really don't. I do recall a few, but not very many. There are more symptoms related to breathing and pain than anything else, but there have been lots of other problems besides those. I hope someone posts that can help you with your question. Again, I sure didn't mean to offend you with my response. Sometimes things come across the wrong way when they are written. I have prayed for you and your wife and I wish you nothing but the best. Peggy

Bill, Tina was quite correct in her comment. Most of us won't have a comment about this symptom. While hemoptysis is listed as a "symptom" of lung cancer, very few people on this board have experienced it. Some have, of course, but not many. Many of the people here had no "lung cancer symptoms" at all - the lung cancer was discovered because it had metastasized to other areas of the body and caused problems, i.e., headaches from brain mets, bone pain from bone mets in the spine, legs, hips, ribs, etc. and the lung cancer was later discovered as the primary cancer. Peggy

Congratulations, Heather, on your good news, and WOW, what a cute puppy. You will have many hours of fun with that cute little thing! Enjoy! Love, Peggy

Dolly, I, too, am sorry to hear about this setback. It sounds like he is already feeling a little better since he could talk to you. I am praying that the radiation will make things a lot better. Please keep us posted. Love, Peggy

Hi Cindy, Cute, cute puppy! I love dogs - all kinds. We have two. I was also glad to hear on your other thread that things are going better in the other areas of your life. Glad to hear that your daughter came home and I hope Tom's ordeal will be over soon. The new job sounds wonderful! So glad to hear so much good is happening for you, and that you have this adorable little puppy to love and spoil. Love, Peggy

Believe me, Melinda, if Geoff loves you like I'm sure he does, you are NOT a burden to him. At least in my relationship with my husband, he has always been a great caregiver when I have had problems and never minded taking care of me. In fact, although I know it hasn't always been convenient, I think it makes them feel needed. They are natural protectors and lovers and most of the time are thrilled to take care of us. I suppose in some cases where a wife or girlfriend might be a whiner or hypochondriac, it would get old, but certainly this is not the case with you. I do know exactly how you feel, though. We think we are the ones that should be fussing over our men, and feel kind of guilty when it's the other way around. Let him do this. Let him buy you a book, massage your muscles (if that's possible without making it worse), pick you up off the floor and baby you. It will give him something to boast about to his friend - taking care of you AND his mom, but he's a big enough man to handle it. I sure hope you feel better soon - those soft tissue injuries are the worst. Love, Peggy