stand4hope

Oh, Anna, how sweet! That is just the most lovely, sweetest poem you wrote for your daddy. He loves you so much and I know he loves the poem. He will always be with you, honey, and God is taking real good care of him and will never let anything hurt him again. Love to you, Peggy

Hi Sandy and WELCOME. I've been away for a few days and I can't remember if I responded to your first post. Even if I did - WELCOME AGAIN! Ginny has been a blessing to this site and she is a blessing to your brother, Earl, as I'm sure you are as well. We are all so sorry to know that Earl is having a rough time the past few days, but we are pleased to know that he has you and Ginny by his side. I'm praying for your whole family at this difficult time. Love, Peggy

Sharon, I'm so sorry to hear your dad is feeling so down and out. It just breaks our hearts to see our big strong dads weak and defeated. I'm praying it is the medicine just affecting him mentally and that it really isn't his time to give up. If it is, of course, that's ok, too, but it just doesn't quite sound right. Katie's right - now it's your turn to just look him in the eye and say "B-A-L-O-N-E-Y to that, Daddy. I think the medicine is making you feel this way and I'm going to take care of that and I'm going to take care of YOU and you ARE going to get better!!!" Please keep us posted. Love, Peggy

Elaine, Yes, this is very sad and I'm sorry you weren't able to connect with your birth father before now. It's strange that you would bring this up now. We adopted our son when he was 7 weeks old (he's now 27), and in the last couple of years he has expressed sadness because he doesn't know anything about his birth parents or his past. Just last week I contacted a couple of private investigating firms to see what it would take to try to find out who his birth parents are. I'm reluctant to pay the money since the records are supposedly "sealed" and I just don't understand how these firms can get the info. I haven't placed any follow-up calls yet. I can "feel" how empty our son feels because of this void, and so I think I understand your sadness at your birth father's death. I think Margaret had an absolutely wonderful idea. Maybe that can help you to find some closure. Love, Peggy P.S. I'm still waiting to hear back from you on my last PM. Did you make that call on Friday?

Ginny, I've been away from here for several days, and can't stay long just now, but I wanted to take the time to tell you how much I admire you for your strength and endurance. This has been a very, very long haul for you and you have been such a good wife to your beloved Earl. May God bless you both now and forever. I'm sending you a big hug, and as you hug Earl tonight, please give him one for me, too. Love, Peggy

Lily, Try this, and put in last name "Hopkins", and "August 11, 2004" for the date: http://www.detroitnewspapers.com/deathnotices/index.cfm

Ry, I'm so sorry. I'll kick it up once for David, too. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrre it goes!! Love, Peggy

Fay, I talked to my good friend at work today about what has recently happened here and also about the thread I started about a week ago. I told her I was really struggling with staying here, but struggling with leaving, too. She is an "outsider" but said that she could see why, even though there was so much sadness, there was reason to be here because the people who are posting need somebody to listen, somebody to care, especially because it's so difficult to talk about it with close friends and family. She said that somebody who is really, really scared (meaning caregiver or patient) would be more apt to post those feelings and fear to a stranger than to their best friend. She said she thinks it's good for all of us to get our feelings out. I thought her comments were very perceptive for someone who hasn't even dealt with this. And then, I log on here tonight (11:00 p.m.) and read your post, especially the quote above, and I weep again because, even though it's so very hard to cope with these losses, I'm so glad I know you, and Ginny, Melinda, Cheryl, Nushka and Katie, as well as all the other friends I've made here, as well as so many others - Becky, Elaine, Cindy RN, Paddy, Beth, Cheri, Dave S, Angie, Bruce, Jane, Ry, Frank, Joe, and on and on and on. My life will never be the same because I've come to know all of you, and you're right, Fay, it IS a gift. Thank you, God, for my new friends. Peggy

Hi Pat, I hate it when someone has to make this kind of decision, and I understand why you are feeling a little down today. Unfortunately, I don't feel that I can help with your decision because that is, of course, up to you. My husband's experience with the gemzar/navelbine was very good. He had just a little bit of nausea that was quickly controlled with compazine. He did have increased fatigue, but nothing like what he had with his first-line chemo. It was really a pretty easy chemo for him, and he continued to work full time every day. Sorry I can't help you more with the "what's a girl to do?" Let us know what you decide. God bless you, Peggy

Once a mom, always a mom. It doesn't matter if we are 26 or 76, we never stop being "mom". We care more about our kids than we do about ourselves. We worry more about our kids than we do about ourselves. It never stops. It will always be there. Your mom is filled with love and concern for you and she would rather talk about you than herself, and that's ok - it's a good thing. If I were you, I would let her know that you are getting better and promise her that you are going to be ok. That will make her feel a lot better. God loves you! If you think you might be getting depressed, then get some help now so you really can get better. Peggy

I am so sorry to hear this tragic news this morning about your wonderful brother, David. David was such a fun person on this site and did so much to keep all of us smiling. We will deeply mourn this loss with you and your family. I am so sorry. God bless you, Peggy

I am shocked and speechless. I didn't expect to hear this at all this morning. To all of David's family: I am so very sorry for your loss. God bless you all, Peggy

Wow, JD, you are going through a very stressful time. Mary Ann gave you very, very good advice. Do all that you can do to educate yourself and then your dad. Then you just have to let him make the decisions he wants to make. It won't do us any good to beat up on the doctor (although I would like to) because it sounds like he has made up his mind and really thinks he is right, even though the most advanced treatment techniques advise otherwise. If at all possible, I would just try to get him to another doctor or to the Mayo Clinic as soon as possible. If he just refuses, then you have to know in your heart that you did everything that you could, and let your dad lead. That's the best advice I've got, but I sure am pulling for you, and for your dad. Take deep breaths, do all that you can do, and then try to relax. Welcome to our family here at LCSC. You've come to the right place for support. Please keep us posted. God bless you, Peggy

Charlotte, You have certainly had a very rough week. Did you get your hubby into the doctor today to get some help for the pain? If you posted somewhere else on this, I missed it. I've not been here much for 3 or 4 days, so I might have overlooked it. You and your family are definitely in my prayers. Love, Peggy

Jamie, I am sooo glad your dad is feeling better. That is great news, and I think it's wonderful that he gets to see the Bears. I bet there is some smilin' goin' on in your house. Love, Peggy

No kidding, and I don't even know where they are or what they're for. But, Ray, wherever they are, I pray the Alimta gets down in there and sends those cancer cells straight to hell where they belong. That was strong talk for me (LOL), but it just seems the appropriate place. Praying for you, Ray. Peggy

Hi mcfc and WELCOME! I certainly understand your fears - we all do. Like Margaret said, it takes about two weeks to get over the shock. That time seems to be pretty consistent for most of us. It does get better. Once you and your family have a diagnosis and treatment plan, you will be in the fight with the rest of us and will wonder where all your strength came from. I hope your father is receiving some professional help for his depression because your mom will certainly need his support as well. By the way, my husband also hasn't smoked for 30 years and there are a lot of people here who never smoked at all and weren't even around secondhand smoke. On this site, we don't even consider those points because every person is equally as important to God as the other, and no one deserves lung cancer whether they smoked or not. We just talk about getting on with the treatment. Lots of hugs for you to tell you it will be ok. Peggy

Hi Jasmine and WELCOME! You found this site the exact same way that I did - searching for other information. I didn't lurk for "months" though - I can't keep quiet that long. LOL! I only lurked for a week or two before I jumped in. You are very good friend to take the time to search for information for your friend. I hope he/she appreciates your concern. Please stay in touch with us and invite your friend to join so we can give him or her as much support as we can. Once again, WELCOME! God bless you, Peggy

Dear Pherrs, What a neat, neat story. I'm sorry I'm so late in replying to you, but I've been busy with other things lately. I also want to welcome you here and hope that you will stay in touch with us and keep us posted on your mom's progress, as well as the upcoming marriage. God bless you, Peggy

Not trying to make anyone feel bad, but Luluc's post was dated June 2. Her brother died on June 4. Thought you would all want to know. It's probably a good idea for all of us, including me, to try to get in the habit of checking the dates on posts if we think of it. Luluc, we are all very sorry for the loss of your brother. Peggy

Thank you, Ry. Like the others, I'm not sure what this means. Does intubation mean a breathing tube, i.e., ventilator, or a chest tube? Do you know why they couldn't do the laser surgery and what that will mean? Maybe you don't know and maybe I'm asking questions I shouldn't, but I've been praying extensively for Dave, so I'm very concerned. I will continue to pray, and thank you, Ry, very much for posting the update. God bless every one, Peggy

Shellie, I will be happy to send a letter, however, I cannot help financially at this time. I recently sent a donation to the site, which was money I had offered to someone else on the board who needed financial help but would not accept it. Since I can't financially help everyone on the board, at least I can give some money to the site to help support everyone mentally. Katie, I agree with the others that no personal attack was intended by Ginny. I also have complete trust in you, Rick and the Board of Directors. If I didn't, I wouldn't have sent the money. I do think, however, that having a spreadsheet would be good for two reasons: 1. It makes good business sense. 2. It would give all 1300 members a reason to send in at least a small donation ($5, $10) every month or two, or a larger one if they can. Making financial statements available to the public that supports an entity instills trust in that entity. Elaine, That was very kind of you to offer to help. My time is very limited, but I am fast typist and if I can help with some typing, I would be glad to do that. Love to all, Peggy

Ok, David. I'll be on my knees again tonight for you! If I had to do what you have to do tomorrow, I would be nervous, too. Try some deep breathing and relaxing your shoulders, arms, legs, etc. tonight and you will fall fast asleep. Tomorrow's ordeal will be over before you know it. I expect you to be back here telling us everything is A-OK. Also, meditate on this: ----Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me. ~~~~~~~~~~Jesus, John 14:1 Love, Peggy

Cindy, You already know that I am praying for you and your family, but I will pray some more. What Norme and some of the others posted was encouraging, don't you think? I like Ginny's idea. Call every day. Actually, call twice a day. Call in the morning and tell them thank you, you hate to be a pest, but you are so worried, so you are going to call back in the afternoon. Be reeeeeeal sweet, so they won't get mad and not give Tom good attention. I bet they can squeeze you in. You might have to wait a while in the office, but it would be better than waiting until the end of the month. Keep us posted, Cindy. Prayer, prayers and more prayers! Love, Peggy

I ditto exactly what Hebbie said. My husband could swallow but would cringe with pain as soon as it hit the chest area. Could only sip room temperature water and swallow small bits of food, and didn't want to do that. Mostly, he just refused to eat and lost at least 10 lbs. It did get better in a few weeks, but he didn't use any kind of medication. He did have to get two of the large bags of fluid because he was so dehydrated. Peggy