Hi everyone... I'm newly registered, but I've been a frequent visitor these past few months since my mom's diagnosis of extensive SCLC, and I have to say reading everyone's posts has been both informative and supportive. It's nice knowing that while it feels like this is all completely uncharted territory, and my family's all alone in this, there are so many of you out there who understand every single minute of what we're going through.
I'm struggling with juggling family dynamics, trying not to hurt feelings, the uncertainty of all of this, and with what seems to be a daily struggle between hope and fear. My mom is truly the bravest, toughest, strongest, most wonderful person I have ever met and I wake up every morning crying and fall asleep every night crying, even five months after diagnosis - both for my family's pain in even picturing a life without her and for her pain in trying to imagine how we'll get through it without her there to guide us, and what she won't be able to be a part of anymore.
I guess what I'm asking for is for thoughts and prayers - even though I don't you any of you, and it seems that all of us touched by this disease need all the prayers we can get just to make it through the day.
My mom just participated in a clinical trial with the seneca valley virus, and since she now has symptoms of the flu, we're under the impression that she received the virus and not the placebo. I'm hoping you all can keep her in your thoughts so that this virus actually works and stops the cancer from growing and spreading more than it has - at least for a little while.
Thank you - for paving the way, for helping to educate me on so much, and for honestly giving me hope and a little bit of cheer by sharing your experiences with everyone in this community. Some of us (i.e. me) may be a bit shy, but your words - all of your words - are helping to get me through such a difficult time and helping me to keep a brave face on for my parents and brothers and sisters. Thank you all.