Ven

Too Cute! Sent it on to some friends. Thanks! Ven

I am very sorry, Margaret ... Wishing you strength. Ven

God be with them, Please

Rosegarden, Kindly accept my condolences on the loss of your Mom. Take Care. Sincerely, Ven

Rosegarden, I'm wishing you strength to get through this - this may well be the hardest time of your whole life. Stay as strong as you can and try not to let your Mom see your pain. Tell her you will all be ok, she is listening. There is no reason for you to feel guilty or that you have betrayed her. As the others are telling you, there is just no more that anyone can do for her. God will take over soon. Please give your Grandma some reassurance that she still has you, your brother and your Dad. I know everyone's heart is breaking so try to stay together through this. Many people send private messages on this forum - so if that helps you to talk more personally, feel free to do so. My own experience with the end, is only two months back, so those memories are very fresh to me and I do understand you. Take care & may God help you all. Ven

Ry - did you ever get a response on this from your Hospice? Thanks, Ven

The Hospice in my town agree with you, Cindy, and say it is a physiological response - not emotional at all. The RN I spoke with said it is simply a "release of bodily fluid". I do like your comment about it being a tear of joy for what they see as they leave. Thanks for the reply. Ven

Thanks, Bo I've read a lot at Crossing the Creek it's a very informative site - when you are ready for it, that is. Wonder if he would respond to a question? That's an idea. I'll check out the links he provides.

Yes, really interesting. It's sounding like this is much more common in people with a lingering illness. I appreciate all the replies on this. Ven

Thank you Anais for the response - perhaps we can both learn something on this subject. Ry, thanks for sending this on, I will be awaiting any explaination or ideas on this. Ven

Thanks, Margaret & Ry for the replies. My question concerns the final "good-bye tear" which some patients shed right before the end of life. I understand this happens with some patients - I know my friend saw it with her dad. I've done a lot of searching on this subject and can't find any explaination for it. One nurse said there must be a medical reason for this happening. If the patient is comatose, is the one tear an emotional response or physical? In other words, is this something the body just does as part of the "letting go" process or is it the patient's way of saying "Good bye and I will miss you, but I must leave now". I know we have to assume that the patient hears everything all along the way and I've read that they are now thinking that touch is also one sense they keep to the very last. One Hospice group encourages the family to save that tear on cloth. Then the cloth is cherished and actually worn on wedding and Christening gowns and used for other family customs. I may never find the answer to this but I know it is heartbreaking to watch that one tear being shed. I'd just like to know if the body does it without the patient's awareness or is it really the patient crying for the last time Thank You.

Just wondering if there is a Hospice RN on this site who is willing to answer a question. Thanks.

Done from here, too.

Ok, thanks for the replies, good wishes & prayers. The Fourth Round starts Monday. My Best to All of You & Yours. Ven

Thanks, Katie B.