dave3

never thought to look for these old posts...wish i could find the ones from the beginning

been far to long since I have been here reading through many of the posts from friends was a bittersweet experiance...I still have some issues from my adventure with lc. chronic pain is still here and the copd makes things a bit harder for me but I plug on. My personal life has totally fallen apart...after 15yrs my wife decided that living with a cancer patient and all the baggage that comes with it wasnt worth it and tossed me out...and as a result I have lost everything I had including my pride. The divorce is in the final stages as I write this and I needed to vent a bit. Physically I am not real bad emotionally I am a complete wreck and honestly dont know what to do next. I have been pretty vocal about my journey and in talking with people came to realize that most think when your treatment is done all is well...little do they realize that its just the start of a trip that never really ends. After all this time every now and then I still hear a little whisper in the back of my mind saying "I'm still here" but for the most part I dont dwell on it or at least try not to. At my last appointment my lung function was down so I have to take another PFT and see whats going on...but enough babbling on I am at a loss for words.....my mental train just derailed again. Happy to see some old faces and saddened by those that are missing...damn disease. dave dave2 dave3..long story..lol

this is the 3rd time ...4th actually for those that remember. i emailed a few times about password and never got a response. i was scarolina,dave,dave2 and now dave3. i was dx in 2007 had a upper left lob removed along with 20 some nodes. had a 12 infusions of chemo and also did a 2 year trial of tarceva. many changes in my life both physically and mentally. have almost no short term memory,bad headaches,chronic pain and still after all this time bad fatigue that kinda comes and goes. found a study done by i believe the mayo clinic that finally decided "chemo" brain is for real...and in some cases long term. basically chemo induced ADD. so i still take a slew of meds for things but i am "stable" at this point...will be 5yrs in march. another concern is i also have COPD and in a 4 month span my O2 stats were 98 then next visit was 93. will find out again next check up(2 months) and go from there. sorry to ramble just sitting here typing whatever popped into my head. wish i could find my original dave stuff..was a lot more info in there. anyway i will hush up now just wanted to check in...has been far to long and im afraid i missed many things. Dave,Dave2 and Dave3...lol Carole,Sandra and sadly Patti...everyone comments on it when they see it...and thinking about you 3 always makes me smile.