Dear Joan,
I know what you are going through. My wonderful father passed away on May 22, 2004 after a year of battling lung cancer. Although we knew he was sick, we still all believed that he would recover and survive. We all ( my sisters & my mom) did all we can as his caregivers to make sure he was receieving the best treatment and care as possible. But no matter how hard we tried or how hard he fought, he died still believing that he was going to get better. His death came fairly quickly and was still a shock to us all, but this has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me. It hurts so much and I miss him so much. The first month was really just a state of shock for me, just getting through the days and spending a lot of time with each other. But after the first month, you start to get back to your normal life and it hurts more each day. I keep hoping that it will be easier, but I never want to stop missing him. I hope with time the emptiness will be replaced by just fond memories and mising him, but I am not sure.
My father was the most kind, loving, caring, funny and sensitive man who cared so much for his family. I just wish that I will someday be able to relay to my children what a wonderful man he was. Always remember your mom for the good times and remember that its ok to be sad, but that she wouldn't want you to put your life on hold. She loved you and would not want you to be so upset, she is in a better place and will always be with you. That is what gets me through my worst times.
Barbra
