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Don, I am 2 months late and I apologize for that. But I wanted to express my deepest sympathy. Kelly

I will always remember Dean as he and I share a birthday. Dean will also be remembered by the wonderful perspective he had on life. I feel so honored to have been able to read the beautiful things Dean had to say. You truly will be missed. Kelly

Today, my mom would have had her 50th birthday :'( I know that we would have had something nice for her and I would have loved to take her to a very fancy restaurant overlooking the city. Nice things like that were very few and far between during her lifetime. I just hope in heaven she is being rewarded greatly for all the love she gave while on this earth. The year mark was Sept 3rd. I spent the weekend in Canada. Some of me wanted to be here in Pittsburgh and some of me wanted to be as far away as possible. Today I visited her grave, something I dont do very often because when I cry like I do when I go there my head throbs for 2 days. I feel angry that she was taken away so early and I am still trying to get over that. It feels as new and raw as the day she passed and oh God it hurts. Just wanted to share this with people who understand. Thanks for listening. Kelly

Dianne, Yours is great - I think I'll use it!! One thing that I've noticed. Quite a few people here who have lc or whose loved one has lc also were exposed to some other known cancer causing substance/area. I know the same is true for my mom too. If they start doing more research on finding a cure for lung cancer and possibly finding ALL the causes instead of just linking them all to smoking we will start making some real progress. lets face it probably every one of us has been exposed to some form of second hand smoke whether we wanted to be exposed or not... One of my favorite websites is www.thetruth.com check it out if you have a minute, theres some really good information on it. Like this quote: 70 percent of smokers want to quit. Only about 5 percent actually succeed every year. Just food for thought.

for the "Oh, Did he/she smoke?" I've been trying to come up with one for the people who keep asking. Thanks

So Im not the only one who wanted to spit fire after I read this. I can't believe someone greenlighted that. I was trying to find how to leave feedback or write to the obviously uneducated (as far as lc goes) author. Does anyone know how to write back? Now all these people are all of a sudden are talking about lung cancer but they are doing it the wrong way. Just contributing to the stigma over and over... When will it end.

Peggy, I am so shocked to hear this news. I am so sorry. Kelly

I am really shocked and sad to hear this news. My prayers are with Karen, Becky, and especially sweet Faith. I too, hope it was peaceful. David will be missed by many. Thank you for letting us know, Beth. Kelly

Fay, I have not been to the year mark yet for my mom but I know it will be a hard day. My thoughts are with you and many hugs to you too. Kelly

Thank you to all of you who posted. Your being here makes me feel human and lets me know that I'm not the only one on this wretched path. I am sorry that it took me so long to post this. I am still trying to decide whether or not going to a group would help me. I would really like my sister to go with me but I am not sure that she is the kind of person who opens up to others, especially in a group format. Anyway, I just wanted to post a thank you to all of you. Kelly

I know this is really really late, but I just want to express my sympathy for the loss of your father. Our parents have a special place in our hearts and when we lose them there is nothing that can replace that big gap that is left. 1 year seems like forever but at the same time seems like just yesterday. It really isnt just another day. Kelly

I am so sorry that you have nobody to talk to to share your thoughts with. I truly know how that feels. I really like your honesty about your feelings. People here really understand what you are going through and we are all here side by side, getting through this together. My thoughts are with you. Kelly

Shellie, I know exactly what you mean about the time just a floating by. It is quickly coming up on a year for my mom and I just cant fathom that I haven't seen her beautiful face for that long. Just want you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you. Kelly

Lori, The truth is, if you want to talk to your dad again, he is right there with you. I am sorry that you feel this way. I know how hard it is for the months to just fly by and the pain doesnt get any easier. I wish there was something I could say to lessen it but there just arent words. Just know that there are people here that are feeling the exact things you are. I agree about being public with our sadness, I wouldn't care at all who saw me while I'm bawling while driving. Dont know why driving alone is what does me in.. Anyway, here is a big hug from me to you. Hope that helped some.

I'm a little late to the party but I just wanted to say that I am sure that your Dennis is with you. The song is your proof. My mom sends me gifts all the time, I love it. Happy Birthday Dennis!

Happy Birthday Katie!

And there are many others that just dont fit all on that subject line. Where are you? I very rarely post but I read several times a day and keep up to date with how everyone is doing and I pray for and think about everyone. I've been wondering for some time about the people above and others who havent posted in quite some time. If any of you read this I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. If anyone has any updates on anyone who has been missing for a while please let me know. Kelly

Frank, I think everyone else scared the fat lady away so I'll just send my thoughts and prayers to you. Kelly

Hi all. One or two of you might remember me from a while back and my mom Deb who lost her fight with this relentless disease in Sept 2004. I think I am getting worse as time goes on. Not a minute goes by where I'm not thinking about my mom. I have the ugliest pictures in my head that wont go away. I try to cover them up but I know they are always there and they aren't going away or getting less vivid. I feel like I'm living a nightmare. Well, in my eyes, I am. I'm jealous of all my friends who have mothers and take them for granted and the hardest day so far was mothers day, I have no idea how I made it through that. I literally have a knot in my throat as I write this. I'm so angry at everything and I'm irritable at little things. I feel like I have a wound that closed up before it could heal and is just hurting more and more as time passes. When I think about everything thats in my head I feel like I'm going to be physically sick and I just want to crawl into a corner and bawl. I dont really know where I'm trying to go with this I just need to tell someone I guess.. I think I should get some kind of help but I dont want people to think I am rediculous now that 8 months have passed and I went all this time without any counselors, therapy or any drugs. I think that was a big mistake. Does anyone know if insurance normally covers counseling or anything of that sort? I dont know if I could call the hospice people they'd probably laugh at me because of all the time thats went by. I just dont feel like I'm getting any better at all and I feel like I'm outside of my own body. Thanks for listening anyway. Kelly

Betty, I am so sorry. I too will be praying for a miracle. Love, Kelly

I totally understand your feelings too. I know for a fact I wont be able to go near that hospital for a very very long time without breaking down. My mom and I also worked at the same place (community college) and its very hard for me to be at work. We used to have lunch together and talk about stupid work things. I would give anything to have that back again. I cant even go near the building she worked in without having that familiar sting in my eyes. I dont know if that will ever get easier. Just wanted you to know your definetely not alone. Kelly

Hi, Not sure if this is the right place to ask this question, but here goes anyway. When my mom was in her mid 20's while pregnant with me, she was exposed to radiation via a heat sealing device. She worked in a place where they made binders and she operated the heat sealer which was purchased used from another company. The owner of the company my mom worked for KNEW (or at least had a suspicion) that these machines were giving off more radiation than should be allowed. The reason we think he knew is that he wouldnt let his own daughter go near that area. Also, after he found out my mom was pregnant he moved her to another department immediately. OSHA came in and did tests on the machines which proved that they were indeed giving off more radiation than the legal amount and were told to correct the issue. I have all the paperwork regarding that. During the years my mom has been through many medical problems including dental problems (some sort of gum disease) thyroid problems for as long as I can remember. She also had a cone resection? in her uterus done and the piece that they took out was found to be cancerous. I am not sure if I am using the right terms here, but I do have the med records somewhere which state exactly what it was. Had a hysterectomy in her early 40's She had high blood pressure. Nobody else in the family has had ANY one of these problems and my mom felt that the company she worked for caused or at least contributed to her lung cancer. My question essentially is this: Is there a way to prove that this type of radiation causes lung cancer? We were told to contact the doctor to see if he believes that it was caused by the radiation. Thank you very much Kelly

Elaine, Im sending many many prayers up for you and your family tonight. I really hope he will get the job. Kelly

I am so very sorry about your loss. Please accept my condolences. Kelly

Only mine dont involve smells. Two things that have happened to me since my mom has passed are 1. The night I came home after she had passed, there were 3 deer right beside my house standing there right as we pulled up. There were us 3 girls, my sister, me and my mom who all lived together before I got married. That was my signal that she is ok. I asked her before she got really sick to give me signs that she was ok when she got to the other side, so I believe that was one of them. The second thing that happened to me was one night I was pulling out my wedding photos from my closet and I had to reach high to grab the one book, well when I got it a picture came flying out and hit the ground and when I picked it up and looked at it, it was a picture of my mom and my dad from when we were on vacation in niagara falls and they were sticking their middle fingers up and smiling at the camera. This picture had nothing to do with my wedding album so I dont know where it came from. I didnt know how to take that picture at first but I smiled and was happy that she kept her promise. Kelly