Amy P

Donation coming tomorrow - after my paycheck hits tonight! What a great idea. What a great idea!

Shelley - I will do what I can - writing letters, $$ whatever. What a kind person you are to do this. Please let me know what you need me to do! Much Love, Amy

I hope you all have wonderful relaxing trip - it is more than deserved. My parents spent a few days at glacier earlier this summer and the pictures of the scenery were amazing! I hope it will be as calming for you all as it was for my Mom. Prayers for a safe trip for you all! Much Love, Amy

Jana - It's not that I am depressed but I have had a couple of anxiety attacks (1 pretty major) and have a lot of trouble going to sleep and then staying asleep - too many things running through my mind. Doc thought an anti-depressant would help take the "edge" off of my stress so I would sleep better and hopefully that will translate into improvement in my breathing -I wheeze constantly. It is my understanding (there are probably other here who know better than I) that the meds aren't just for depression but can also help those who have a hard time handling stress. I can tell they are working because this morning on the way to work I got passed by another car on my residential street where the speed limit is 25 and this car had to be doing at least 40 and my only thought was where is a cop when you need one - when it happened about a month ago my blood pressure shot up and I felt the "urge" to follow them and explain that there are a lot of kids that walk along this street and they could have really hurt someone etc. Luckily I was able to control myself but it was a couple of hours before my blood pressure came down and my heart quit racing. This morning, I felt much more in control - not that it didn't bother me but I realized that I couldn't fix it so I was able to let it go. Does that make sense??? Thanks for asking! Much love to you, Amy

THAT was funny Thanks for sharing

Thank you all for your input but I am still very torn. I have talked til I am blue in the face to my hubby and am still conflicted. I have (for the most part) been honest with my mother - including my fears about her health etc. After weeks of waiting to get a final conclusion of her recurrence, when we finally got some answers I looked my Mom straight in the eye and said this really sucks - I don't want you to die and then my parents and I cried together - as far as she goes I am straight up honest because that is what she depends on me for - the truth. But when it comes to me, I am a little more reserved. I have always been independent and it is hard for me to admit that I have too much on my plate, let alone need help. My brothers are somewhat of a nightmare - one who is in his early 40's who still calls my parents for money and expects them to give it and another brother who has controlling wife and doesn't tell my parents ANYTHING which leaves Mom to her imagination (THanks Don!) which - thank goodness - is not as active as mine so I don't want to burden her further with my issues - which comparatively speaking are pretty minor but somewhat overwhelming when added together. With my brothers issues, I don't want to add more to her plate...maybe in this case, ignorance is bliss Katie and Elaine - I am talking about telling her my problems - sorry if it wasn't very clear. Becky - I have had a list of counselors sitting on my desk since April and haven't picked up the phone to make the call...maybe now is the time! Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and respond. It means so much to me to have a forum where there are sooooo many wonderful people who truly want to help! Much Love to you ALL! Amy

Shelley - Yeah for some good news! I hope you can relax now and take care of yourself - I think you more than deserve it! Much Love, Amy

In addition to my mother's health, I have my own lung issues - the triple A's (asthma, allergies and acid reflux) are causing me a lot of trouble - lots of bronchitis and pnuemonia's plus I have a demanding job, a hubby who coaches soccer and at certain times of the year isn't around much, 2 kiddos one of which is borderline ADD and some occasional financial issues, the constant fear of Iressa failing, my dad had glaucoma that is slowly getting worse so it is a reality that at some point Dad will no longer be able to drive so the folks will move in with us so Matt and I can take over driving duties SO a a result my wonderful immunologist has put me on a mild anti-depressant to help "take the edge off". I was giving Mom an update on me and she asked why in the world would I need an anti-depressant? She knows some but not all of this. I chose not to tell her because I don't want my current feeling to interfere with the what if's of the future and I definately don't want her think I don't want them here because I do. My Mom and I are extraordinarily close and I feel like I am lying to her - am I doing the right thing by keeping her in the dark? Sorry this is so long but it has been bothering me. I am open to any thoughts etc. Much Love to you all, Amy PS. 2 good things did happen today - #1 the ct of my sinuses came back clear so at least I know from the neck up I am OK and #2 I got an interview to get into a managment program at work - I was 1 of 18 to get interviews for 5 spots - they had 80+ people apply - so I am very proud of myself for at least getting this far!!!!! Of course, if I get in it gets even more demanding....

Yea Peggy! I am so happy for you and your hubby! I hope you celebrated both events in style!!! Much Love, Amy

Jane- What a wonderful way to remember your brother. You are a special person and great sister. Much Love, Amy

Paddy - You might check again with Medicare - with the "changed" drug program they are now covering Iressa - I know when Mom got her first rx medicare pd nothing and their secondary pd for all but 20% but the past two refills medicare has paid so Mom paid nothing out of pocket. I was suprised until Elaine posted that she thought medicare was paying now and I then did some research and found that they are indeed covering Iressa. Just a thought! Best wishes to you and I hope your hubby finds some relief during this break. Much Love, Amy

Amy - My Mom had the same thing happen, onc said they didn't get a good enough tissue sample to verify the type of cancer with the bronch and she said if she ever had to do it again she would insist on the needle biopsy. You can PM me if you have any questions. Hang in there - the waiting is the worst! Much Love, Amy P

Ginny - Thanks for the update - you and Earl are in my thoughts and prayers. Your love for each other reminds me so much of my parents and it breaks my heart that you are having to go through this. I am wishing you nothing but peace in the coming days. I am very good at getting rid of people, so if your neighbor gives you any more guff - I'll be happy to work my magic Much love to you and Earl! Amy

Tess - I am so very sorry. Please accept my sincerest sympathies. May you find peace soon. Much Love, Amy

Don - I cannot add any words to the wise ones already posted. Please know that I will pray for you to find peace and comfort soon. ((((((((Don)))))) Much love, Amy

Amy - I sure do hope you get to listen in - my Mom always appreciates having another set of ears to hear everything. I don't know if you have a feel for his oncologist but don't let your Dad get hung up on any statistics that they dr. may give - there are many, many, many cases on this board alone where the statistics haven't amounted to a hill of beans. Hang in there and whatever the news may be, remember that we will be here for you. Best of luck tomorrow, I will be thinking of you and your family and remember to let us know what you find out! Much Love, Amy P PS. this is weird - I feel like I am posting to myself

Connie - Glad you are back and hope you had a great vacation and thanks for the hugs - I love hugs, ask my kiddos they get tired of me hugging on them all the time As for me, I saw the doc on Thursday and he changed my meds a little and added an anti-depressant, was a little alarmed at first but am beginning to feel the difference and I have to admit I am under a lot of stress - I always thought I was handling OK but the little blue pill is keeping me much calmer. Doc suspects I may have a vocal cord disfunction so sent me in this morning for a sinus and neck CT - should have the results next week. I still have nasty cough but doc didn't want to put me on more meds - as he put it - based on a guess. My doc is awesome and he said he would call to check on me and I will talk to him about cough then. Thanks for thinking of me!!!! Much Love, Amy

My deepest sympathies for the entire family. Much Love, Amy

Peggy - Thanks and I am actuallygoing to Dr. tomorrow. Just a bit of background for you (what snowflake and I were talking about in chat) starting with a BAD case of pnuemonia about 3 yrs ago I have had multiple cases of bronchitis and pnuemonia (including 2 bouts of pnuemonia this year). I FINALLY saw an immunologist in June who took in interest in why a normally healthy 33 yr old would have these horrible breathing problems. He says my asthma, allergies and acid reflux are all contributors and I am on so many meds it is ridiculous (more than Mom). Well as we go further down the path doc had concluded that my asthma is moderately non-responsive - meaning although I am on the maximum dosage of advair and singular I still wheeze -loud! Next step will be chest ct to check for scar tissue - which because of Mom scares the jeepers out of me but doc knows the history and has been very helpful - wish he could be my primary - he actually calls me every week to check on me not many docs care that much! Anyway since I have rambled on - I will find out tomorrow how we will proceed and probably come home with anti-biotics and steriods Sorry you had to get my history - I have a bad habit of giving too much information and being too detailed. I'll stop now. Good Night and Much Love, Amy

Hear you there! I should be doing laundry right now for weekend trip but yet I am sitting here reading. Need sleep as well, feel like the big bad bronchitis is starting up again!

Thanks Peggy! I have been on here so much I am finally starting to notice when someone has gone missing - don't know if that is a good thing or not

Amy - I can't add much to what other have said but you have come to the right place for support. My mom had been cancer free for 3 yrs and when it came back the oncologist was not offering us much hope - she wouldn't give us any time parameters but was pretty pessimistic which flowed over into me - I was very depressed until I accidentally found this site and what a great accident it has been. There is hope, love and caring and above all support, that I sometimes don't even get from my own family (with the exception of hubby!). Please feel free to PM me if you want! Keep in touch and let us know how everyone is doing! BTW - great name! Much Love, Amy P

I never imagined I would get such responses - Thank You!!! I love reading everyone's opinions as I know that religion can be a very touchy subject! This discussion has helped me sooo much as I have always (more often recently) struggled with faith - not with the existence of God or Jesus etc for in that area I truly do believe. Where I have trouble is the theory that all sins are equal - Mom says that I need to have faith. I have real trouble understanding that telling a lie is equal to raping a small child - it defies my logic which is admittedly sometimes screwy and I often err to the black and white (gray is hard for an accountant to see). Anyway, not trying to stir the pot but rather wanted thank you all for giving me some much needed food for thought about faith!!! You all are wonderful people and I am so fortunate to have found this site where ideas are openly shared and discussed. BTW - I did simplify some of the posts and share some them with Audrey - she was very intrigued and promptly asked me if all people were bad luckily I could tell her about free will and making good choices...I think I need to get her back to church so someone other than me can anwer all these deep questions I may have philosopher on my hands!!! and Lord help me then (no disrespect intended)

If you cut off enough - not sure of the amount - you can donate your hair to locks of love...just a suggestion. Don't know how much help I can be, I recently went from a fairly dark brown to a pretty light blond and am lovin it - so does hubby - I guess I could be fulfilling some fantasy sorry, did not mean to digress - very tired and not feeling to good tonight. I am sure whatever you decide you will look great! Much Love, Amy

I haven't seen her this week...did she take a hall pass and I forgot? Miss you Connie - hope everything is A OK! Much Love, Amy