SBeth

Bill has had increasingly worse pain in the area surrounding his lung surgery incision, both in front and back. He describes it as a terrible bruised feeling. This has been an issue since early February, but has gotten much more severe in the past 4-5 days. He did have a bone scan in early February, which showed nothing. He has been on an antibiotic for the past several weeks for a more persistent cough as well. He finally confided in me over the weekend that he was concerned that it could be a bone met. Is it possible for a bone met to grow this quickly and be causing such severe pain so soon? Any advice? He goes in for his weekly chemo and dr. appointment Tuesday morning and will let them know how much worse his pain is, but any suggestions as to what this could be or anyone else have similar experience with this type of pain?

Peggy!!!! I'm so happy to hear that your husband is getting some relief and I'm hoping that it is from the Tarceva. I wish I were raising a cup of Starbucks on my end, but it's just some plain old Folger's! I'm with you in spirit and celebration. It's NEVER too early to be optimistic. Keep us posted on the continued progress.

Cindy, I'm so happy for you. Like so many others on this board, you are certainly an inspiration to many. Looking forward to another 4!

Thank you Karen, and the others that took time to send me a private message with their thoughts and advice on my personal issues with finding a balance. I'm feeling much of what you feel Karen. I'm trying hard not to grieve, as I know there will be time for that if/when I need it, but I too feel cheated. Although, I cannot imagine that my husband and the others that have been actually diagnosed with cancer don't feel much more cheated than myself. So...self-pity? Yes, I guess that is it. Anger? You better believe it. I'm completely aware of all the things I have to be grateful for, and believe me, I am grateful for those things, but I, personally, am not able to wake up every morning with a Go, Fight, Win attitude. I want to, but every day, if only for a few brief moments, I am overwhelmed with the "What ifs" and it is a painful awakening. I read posts from Ginny and Curtis and Margaret and Paddy and so many others that have lost their spouses and I am in awe of their strength and I just don't know where they get that strength from, so I am left feeling weak and afraid that I will never have that strength. Faith...that may be where they draw it from, so perhaps this is my wake-up call to put all my faith in God and let it go where he wills it to go. Again, thank you to all who are helping me everyday to see and believe in miracles and the true beauty of compassion that is in so many posts. I didn't start this thread, but I'm very certain that it has helped me the most.

Karen, I don't have any answers for you, I'm sorry. What I do have is the same fear that you have and a confession...a really big confession. I say my prayers every day, and I remember all the people I have come to know and love on this board, some of them get special prayers when they need them. But I have never once prayed for my husband. Why you might ask? I'm afraid to. I'm afraid that if I pray and ask God to take care of my husband and in the end I lose him because God doesn't answer my prayers...then what do I have? Will I still have my faith? Will I still believe in God? I don't know, I only know that I am too afraid to ask for what I want the most. I guess I need that balance you are looking for also. When you get the answers, please share. Until then, I will be praying for you and for your family. Love to you,

Angie, That was beautiful, written straight from her heart. What a tribute to the wonderful man you father had to have been. His soul lives on in you and your daughter. My best to you and yours.

Frank, Although I haven't posted much lately, I've been thinking about you alot and hoping your treatment was going easy. I'm sorry to hear that things are tougher this time around, but it's so wonderful to see that you are keeping things lite...even your beer. You're such a trooper. I'll continue to keep you in my prayers and hope things get better.

Dear Angie, Like so many others, I have been thinking of and praying for you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that it gets easier and time eases the pain and void.

TAnn, I'm always a day (or two) late and a dollar (or two) short. Sorry, but belated VERY HAPPY Birthday wishes to you.

Val, Well it is about time. Been wondering when we were going to get to see your new angel! She is precious. Hope you are feeling well and enjoying the magic of motherhood. Love and prayers,

Dear Pat & Brian, Yeah, it's just hair and when you put it into perspective with everything else that is going on, it seems pretty insignificant. I personally think that my bald husband looks gorgeous, but it was a little startling when it first began to fall out. We had to shave his head for his first brain surgery and just as it was growing back, he began to loose it from the chemo. We woke up in a really upscale casino/hotel where we were celebrating our anniversary and it was ALL OVER the pillow. We were checking out that morning and we still laugh and wonder what the maid must have thought about that. The second time he lost it (from WBR), we were on a flight home from Disneyworld and when we got up from our seats to get off the flight, it was all over the back of his seat. TAnn...I think you endured your WBR just a week or so prior to Bill's and he is just beginning to get some fuzz again too. The weird thing is that the hair is coming back very thick and dark in some areas and thin and grey in others. I'm voting for the bald look again, but whatever, he looks GREAT to me! Hang in there Brian and I hope the scalp rash bypasses you...we have never had any problems and Bill has shaved his head several times. Love and prayers,

I'm so sorry for you and your family Angie. Please know that you have been and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Way to go Beth. That sounds like my kind of plan. Have a blast, live the good life and never have regrets! You are one TERRIFIC mother. I'll be thinking of you on Thanksgiving while I hanging out in the kitchen doing the dinner dishes.

Lisa, I think that your post was a beautiful tribute to your Grandmother and the love you had for her. In the end, you were both very lucky to have had each other to love. I hope that sweet memories will help ease the pain of your loss.

Wow Ry...she is so cute and she looks just like you. John, don't feel bad, I see a strong resemblance to you in Jillian's furry white sidekick.

Dear Ali, While all of us here have one thing in common; some of us have much more in common, such as you and I. My husband's cancer was discovered quite unexpectedly as well. We were on a trip in Aruba and thought that the cabin pressure during our flight had triggered an unknown sinus infection. Upon our return home and a much more serious headache, a trip to the ER ended up in surgery to remove a brain tumor and the discovery of a mass on the lung. The rest is in the bio below. Our similarities don't end there though...this is a second marriage for both of us as well. His two daughters (ages 26 & 23) are grown and on their own, while we are still raising my two sons (ages 14 & 11). I'm 38, he is 49. All in all our family is handling the diagnosis and treatments well; his oldest daughter has probably had the hardest time accepting the situation as he raised the girls all by himself and they, too, are very close to their father. I really wanted to address your remark regarding the demeanor of the medical staff upon their realization of your husband's cancer. We have noticed the same thing, but in a different manner. I remember how we were treated in the ER way back in May. Upon our arrival (the Sunday evening before Memorial Day) the staff was pretty confident that his headache was nothing more than a sinus infection, or they suggested that we had possibly made a mistake in the dosage of his blood pressure medicine. As soon as the ER doctor came walking towards our cubicle after that "long and hard battled for" CT Scan of the brain...we knew. We knew something really BIG was up. Suddenly the red carpet was rolled out and for the next two weeks...everyone was SO nice. It was very unsettling to realize that people were going out of their way to be accomodating and caring and just so daggone nice once we realized that they were doing so because they thought he was going to die. Anyway, I don't know which is better...but it's interesting to me to note the different perspectives we have on the matter. As for dealing with the anxiety, I haven't reached the point where I feel like I need a Rx...yet. I do alot of crying during my commute to and from work and feel like that is very theraputic. I will admit that there have been many nights when I am paralyzed with my eyes wide open as I listen to my husband sleeping and breathing and hold my own breath while I wait for an exhale from his side of the bed, so maybe I could use some help. I don't think there is any right or wrong method of dealing with anxiety and stress, it is whatever you feel like you need and when you feel you need it. I didn't realize that if you are taking Xanax you don't take it every day, but more on an "as needed" basis, so maybe that is something I might need to look into. Thanks Ry. Anyway, what was supposed to be a simple Welcome and You're Not Alone, ended up being a book, sorry. Please come back often and let us know how treatment is going. As you probably already know, this is an outstanding site for answers, support and venting. We're glad to have you join the family.

All good vibes being sent your way Janet. Enjoy that celebration dinner.

This seems like a stupid question, so I'll post it here before I waste our "Experts" time in the Ask the Expert forum. I'm just curious about radiation to bone mets; is there a limit to the amount of radiation that can be received? I understand that there is a limit to the lung and brain and probably other organs, but if a person has mets to various bones, is there an "overall" limit to the amount of radiation? Or is the "count" tallied per bone met?

Welcome Home Frank! I'm thinking that maybe we need to form a "Fan of Frank's" Fan club for you. You were certainly very very missed around here. Please tell your sister, Pattie, that we are all very grateful for her posted update on your situation. We'll all be pulling and praying for you as you head into battle with your new attack plan! Love and prayers,

Frank is back AND it is Lucie's birthday. I'm betting that Cindy's Pub will be hopping tonight!

Happy Birthday Lucie...and many more!

Sharyn, I hope that I never have to make the decisions that you had to make; and I cannot imagine the weight of those decisions. But, if you think long and hard about all the advice you have been given by so many others that have walked in your shoes and give yourself a few minutes to relax and reflect...I think that your Daddy will send you the message that you need. Stop second guessing yourself and listen for that message from your Daddy. Until then, I will say a prayer that you get some peace. Love,

Making it a dozen! Frank??? Connie??? Pattie??? What??? You want us to beg? I can do that. Please, please, we are begging for an update. We want to hear some good news about you Frank, but we'd prefer to hear it from you personally. Get back here soon.

Hi Carl, I see that it has been a rough 9 or 10 months for you and your family too. My husband was diagnosed Stage IV last May as well and is now on his second line of chemo. I hope that your father does well on this new chemo. Please come back often and let us know his progress. This is a wonderful environment for support and questions.

Patti, Thank you so much for taking the time to fill us all in on Frank's progress. Please tell Frank and Connie to take care and know that they are in the prayers of many! Hurry back here Frank, we really really miss you!