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LindasGirl

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Everything posted by LindasGirl

  1. Thank you so much for your suggestions and mostly the support! I do feel so alone in this and have no one who understands. Yesterday, we were told that the cancer spread to a lymph node (in her neck near the collar bone). Since the doctor didn't want to discuss the results over the phone and called us into the office, I was actually relieved because I was expecting him to tell us the cancer had spread everywhere. As far as I was concerned this wasn't the best news but it was far better than I expected. I was happy that it hadn't gone anywhere else. My dad was hysterical and passed out. My mother is completely upset, withdrawn and has given up. She feels the chemo was a waste and she went through all of that suffering for nothing. She expected to go through the radiation and chemo, the cancer would be gone and that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, she is not understanding that this is real and she is going to have to manage this for the rest of her life. Again, as I said before, she does not have realistic expectations. I tried to explain that she cannot rely on the doctors to fix everything. That she is the only person in control of her life and she needs to take better care of herself to get stronger, have more energy, etc. I tried to tell her there are certain foods that could actually help cancer grow and she told me that I am reading too much and "you can't believe everything you read". She said, "I don't know why you have to know everything there is to know about this" as if that's a bad thing. I explained, I want to know everything we can do to keep you here with us for as long as we can and keep you comfortable while doing so, that is all I care about. She hasn't read a thing, not even a pamphlet on lung cancer. My question now is, is this out of my hands? Is there anything more I can do to try to get her to change her attitude from anger and completely feeling sorry for herself to becoming a fighter? I feel like I have exhausted all of my options, I have suggested reading these forums, talking to a psychiatrist/ologist, talking to others with cancer, support groups, everything I can think of! She wants to do everything to block it out and pretend this isn't happening and I just feel like we don't have time to avoid the reality of this. Thank you again for your support and your suggestions. Jennifer
  2. So our painful journey began the end of June 2011 when my mom (age 64) was diagnosed with Pneumonia, after several biopsies and other tests, still no improvement, finally we were advised the "mass" needed to be removed. August 1st - upper lobectomy of the left lung, August 3rd Stage II Lung Cancer diagnosis. PET Scan after surgery was "Normal". Two weeks later, at home recovering from suergery, mom has excruciating pain in her neck. 3 ER visists attributed pain to muscle spasms due to my mom favoring the side she had surgery. WRONG... Her C2 vertebrae was fractured from a tumor. PET scan was not read correctly and an MRI (after her being in severe pain for 3 weeks) finally determined it was a tumor. September 8th, diagnosis of Stage IV. My mom went through radiation for 4 weeks to the C2 area of her neck. Immediately after radiation, Chemo began on October 10th and finished on December 27th, 2011. We just went for her 1st PET scan (after treatments) on Monday and doctor wants to go over results in the office on (Thursday) tomorrow. I am losing faith. I am the only child (37 years old), my dad is lost, angry and extremely hard to talk to. My mother is not dealing with her disease at all and is not being realisitc, I believe she is still in denial. I am the only one who is being realistic, asking questions at the doctors office, doing all of the research, etc. My mom doesn't seem to want to know anything and is not fighting. She barely eats, is not concerned about her diet (I know she has been having side effects from the chemo drugs). Back in September/October she couldn't eat becuase her throat hurt so much due to the radiation, which my dad and I fully understood. Now she just doesn't like the way anything tastes and my dad and I are having a really hard time with it because she is emaciated (5'2" under 90lbs.)! She doesn't have a clue how little time she might have left with us but I felt if she had a better understanding that it could be so little time, she might try to fight a little harder? I don't know what to do anymore. My dad doesn't want to tell her because he doesn't want it to bring her spirits down but the way I see it... her spirits can't possibly get any worse. She is nasty to both of us (which I understand, she must be scared and angry) and I just want this time to be precious with my mom. I have suggested she look at the forums available as they have amazing survival stories of people who have gone through exactly what she has, but those people fought! She doesn't want to do anything to educate herself. She says she doesn't want to talk about it and I said the forums are there to just read, she doesn't have to talk. She is completely withdrawn and I just was wondering if anyone else has gone through this with a loved one. Everything I know of cancer is you need to educate yourself about your disease and take it by the horns! Everything I read is stories of people who have this type of attitude...what about the opposite people who just don't seem to want to help themselves?? On top of my mom, I am so worried about my dad. 42 years together and never been apart. He is already lost. Any advice would be appreciated. Jennifer
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