So our painful journey began the end of June 2011 when my mom (age 64) was diagnosed with Pneumonia, after several biopsies and other tests, still no improvement, finally we were advised the "mass" needed to be removed. August 1st - upper lobectomy of the left lung, August 3rd Stage II Lung Cancer diagnosis. PET Scan after surgery was "Normal". Two weeks later, at home recovering from suergery, mom has excruciating pain in her neck. 3 ER visists attributed pain to muscle spasms due to my mom favoring the side she had surgery. WRONG... Her C2 vertebrae was fractured from a tumor. PET scan was not read correctly and an MRI (after her being in severe pain for 3 weeks) finally determined it was a tumor. September 8th, diagnosis of Stage IV. My mom went through radiation for 4 weeks to the C2 area of her neck. Immediately after radiation, Chemo began on October 10th and finished on December 27th, 2011. We just went for her 1st PET scan (after treatments) on Monday and doctor wants to go over results in the office on (Thursday) tomorrow. I am losing faith.
I am the only child (37 years old), my dad is lost, angry and extremely hard to talk to. My mother is not dealing with her disease at all and is not being realisitc, I believe she is still in denial. I am the only one who is being realistic, asking questions at the doctors office, doing all of the research, etc. My mom doesn't seem to want to know anything and is not fighting. She barely eats, is not concerned about her diet (I know she has been having side effects from the chemo drugs). Back in September/October she couldn't eat becuase her throat hurt so much due to the radiation, which my dad and I fully understood. Now she just doesn't like the way anything tastes and my dad and I are having a really hard time with it because she is emaciated (5'2" under 90lbs.)! She doesn't have a clue how little time she might have left with us but I felt if she had a better understanding that it could be so little time, she might try to fight a little harder?
I don't know what to do anymore. My dad doesn't want to tell her because he doesn't want it to bring her spirits down but the way I see it... her spirits can't possibly get any worse. She is nasty to both of us (which I understand, she must be scared and angry) and I just want this time to be precious with my mom. I have suggested she look at the forums available as they have amazing survival stories of people who have gone through exactly what she has, but those people fought! She doesn't want to do anything to educate herself. She says she doesn't want to talk about it and I said the forums are there to just read, she doesn't have to talk. She is completely withdrawn and I just was wondering if anyone else has gone through this with a loved one. Everything I know of cancer is you need to educate yourself about your disease and take it by the horns! Everything I read is stories of people who have this type of attitude...what about the opposite people who just don't seem to want to help themselves??
On top of my mom, I am so worried about my dad. 42 years together and never been apart. He is already lost.
Any advice would be appreciated.