SDianneB

When I worked with large corporate life & retirement plans, the federal law was such that in order to have anyone other than a spouse be beneficiary, it required the spouse's approval. IOW, the spouse was the automatic, assumed beneficiary, and if the person wanted to name someone other than the spouse, the spouse had to approve. Being a spouse, I bet you don't need anything special other than proof of marriage to be the beneficiary for any such benefits. Maybe a lawyer can help you sort through this all. Di

Angie, you are all in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so glad you remember all the wonderful things about your dad rather than just how he was once this horrible disease had hold of him. I miss my dad still after almost 30 years, and I know the pain of loss does get easier with time, and they always live on within our hearts. Take care. Di

For one, that adorable picture of the dog driving the car in all of Mary Ann's posts -- too cute!! Back when I had a CT/PET scan after 2 rounds of chemo, the results were remarkable, and such good news that I drove home and immediately went inside to call my mother. She's 91, in really good health, and had been so worried about me through this that I thought it was time she had some good news, so the first thing I did was call her. She was glad of it too, and so was I. This week, as in other weeks, several people here were having tests and waiting on results, and many of us, myself included, grew impatient waiting on them to get back from their appointments and tell us how things went. It occurred to me that no longer is it allowable to rush home and call your 91 year old mother first -- now, it's required to come here and post your test results first! You guys are great. Really. What a nice bunch of folks to have come across. Di

A brunette was telling her blonde friend about the beautiful arrangement of flowers she'd just received from her boyfriend. "Well, I guess you know this means I'll probably spend this weekend flat on my back with both legs in the air!" Says her blonde friend, perplexed: "Why don't you just put them in a nice vase?"

Well now, yanno down south, everything has to be deep fried or it isn't any good! When I first got sick, and even before chemo, nothing tasted good to me. The strangest was bread -- it was like I had a wad of paper in my mouth when I tried to eat bread! But, biscuits worked for some reason. Once chemo started and until a few weeks after radiation, I just had a funky taste in my mouth all the time, and things that used to taste really good no longer even appeal to me. Early on, I figured out that popsicles were magic in keeping my mouth somewhat fresh, and were a good fluid source, things were much better. Now that I'm feeling so much better, things taste better, but I no longer have my addiction to Diet Coke! I used to have one in my hand just about all the time and now they don't taste good at all. I have one cup of coffee a day, maybe, and maybe a cup of decaf in the afternoon, whereas I used to drink a LOT of coffee every day -- especially when the weather was cooler. If I even have a soft drink now, it's a 7-Up, but mostly I drink Diet Snapple tea, with no caffeine. I actually buy water and take it with me now, and drink more water than I have in ages. My body is probably thanking me after all these years for not putting all the junk into it that I used to! I do have to curb my eating now though -- and get out and walk, else I get where I have to roll into the doc's office! Di

I think you're both amazing. This is SUCH great news from 2 people who are such an inspiration. HUGS to you both!!! Di

Yippeee for sure!!! What great news ... Di

YAY!! Standing ovulation for you!! Di

You people who have had lungs or partial lungs removed just amaze me. I am in awe! I need now to get some weight OFF so that I don't develop stuff like heart disease, diabetes, etc. I'm told that because I didn't have any of those things going into this is probably why I tolerated treatment so well. I'd like to keep it that way. They just asked that I not jump off into a fad diet or maniacal walking until my checkup Monday. They wanted to make sure things looked ok and that my blood work all looked good, which it did this past Wednesday. I think I'm good to go, but will see what they say about it Monday. Frank -- here's a deal for ya -- you come here and show us how to chow down on this good ol' southern cooking, and we'll watch you do the yard work and fish and hunt and all that stuff. Ok? Ha!!! You take care -- I'm in awe of you!!! Di

Moi? Active? Haha!!! I am now, at least more than I was, and will begin walking daily once they give me the go ahead (probably on Monday when I see the Rad. Onc., since my blood work is all back to normal). IMO, it's one of the good things to have come out of all this -- changing things in my life. Di

Schmaydee, who was diagnosed on the same day as me and lives in the same city ... Just come downtown and have lunch with me one day, and I'll show you how to eat. Boy, will I! I completed chest radiation about the 2nd week of September, and it seemed as though after 2-3 weeks, I was like you -- still not quite back up to snuff. Just remember that the radiation continues to work for a while after the treatments stop. The "bad" cells inside you are dying off, and the "good" cells are regenerating and trying to heal, on top of everything else you've been through. In other words, your body is working hard to do lots of things at the same time, so uses its energy sparingly. It is probably telling you that climbing the mountain to see Rock City right now isn't on the agenda! It seemed like all of a sudden -- one weekend -- BAM -- I no longer had the fatigue, and was beginning to feel like myself again. Fortunately, it was when my mother was visiting here, so we got to have some really good visiting time. Since then, I've felt better and better, and as of last week, I feel better than I have in months. I'm about to start PCI soon, I think, but they tell me I won't experience the same fatigue with that like I did the chest radiation, and it only lasts a few weeks, so the Oncologist told me that would be a "breeze" compared to what I've already gone through. Just let me know if you ever want to get together and talk. (Oh, and don't forget popsicles, lots of popsicles -- they are magic!) Di

Elaine -- it's like that where I go, and believe me, it is a welcome relief to not have to worry about every doc getting results from every test. Right after I had the ultrasound of my thyroid, I told the Radiation Oncologist, and it took him about 30 seconds to pull up the report. Awesome! The one thing I do have to do myself is to get copies of my scans on CD to take to my Pulmonologist. He likes to see the scans himself rather than just reading someone's report, so I do that so I don't have to pay to have one sent to him. Other than that, they just get my records from their computer system. I love it! Di

As to the flu shot saga ... Oncologist's office told me on my last visit it was a bit too early, but to just stop by in October and they'd give me the flu shot. Ooops. Now, they are all out, probably won't get any more. I tried a few clinics where they were giving the shots, but by the time I'd get to them, they were all out too. My one last hope is that Monday, the local health dept. is to have more vaccine, and I'll go by there after my appointment with the Radiation Oncologist. I have a friend who works at the health dept. too -- he's the guy who rescued my little Tootsie (the kitty on the left in the avitar/picture) and brought her to me! I'm hoping he'll be there Monday so I won't have to go through all the ropes of proving who I am! The Oncologist wrote out on an Rx for me that I'm high risk, so we'll see. I guess that's my one last chance to have the flu shot, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. As to the pneumonia vaccine -- the Oncologist I see doesn't recommend it for me. She says that I'm not prone to infection, the only pneumonia I ever had was from this tumor and it went away within a few weeks, I have no breathing problems, no asthma, no COPD, etc. She says maybe when I'm 65! I said maybe when I'm 65 they will have a cure for not only pneumonia, but lung cancer too! (I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to see an Oncologist who actually will talk as if I will still be around when I'm 65!! The first one never did. ) Di

Well, shucks. Sorry that one went south on you. Just why isn't it a requirement for people who want to practice medicine and see patients to be human beings? Grrrr ... When I changed Oncologists, it was primarily because of personality -- or his lack of personality, I should say. He's well known in the research community, and a very intelligent person, but is a lousy person, IMO. I think he should stay in the lab and not be allowed to see patients! Keep trying -- maybe you can convince the one who isn't taking new patients to take you! I'm with Bruce -- be sneaky if you have to! Some docs will take new patients on referral -- do you know any doc who would refer you, or is s/he just not taking new patients period? Oh well. You have my good thoughts coming your way -- fighting cancer is 'enuf, without having to fight jerks who call themselves doctors too, huh. Di

I can't speak to those particular drugs, but I've "been there, done that" on the depression -- at least borderline depression. For about 2 weeks after I came home from the hospital and the diagnosis sunk in, I would have periodic bouts of depression. At first, I'd try not to, then figured out that I really needed to feel what I was feeling, and cry and cry if I felt like crying -- not to hold back. And yanno what? It really helped. I began to replace the gloom & doom thoughts with thoughts of hope and light. I began to do the "yeah, but" thing with myself! I think you hit it right on the head already though, about being active. I found that the less active I was, the less active I wanted to be. When I began to be more active, I wanted to be more active. (If that makes any sense!) IOW, the more I'd lay around on the sofa, the more I wanted to lay around on the sofa. I started getting myself up more and more, moving around, going places, and went right back to work. I think the activity did me more good than anything. One thing that was a little difficult to adjust to was seeing people once everyone knew what was going on. It was a bit teary at first, but now when people ask me how I am and they really want me to tell them what's going on, I can do it with a big smile on my face, and hope in my whole demeanor. I'd suggest that you check where you are being treated and see if they don't have some counseling available, or maybe support groups that meet somewhere every week. Contact the American Cancer Society or other such organizations in your community and ask them about counseling resources. Talking to others helps a lot, I think, but it is sometimes good to talk to professionals rather than wearing out family and friends! You have my very best wishes. I have faith that you will get through this. Di

Thanks from me as well. I'm going back to the Radiation Oncologist next Monday, and I'm sure we will discuss this. I was back and forth on it for a while, but after doing a lot of independent reading and discussing it with various people in and out of the health care field, I've come down squarely in favor of it, and once they give me the go ahead, I will have it for sure. The last thing that kept me iffy about PCI was the potential for neurologic deficit, specifically short term memory loss. At age 51, I'm sure that's going to happen more and more often anyway, but from what I've gathered, just having lung cancer means there will probably be neurologic manifestations of the disease itself, and then add to that the chemo, and who is to say what is the real cause -- all that, or the PCI? Even so, the benefits from PCI far outweigh those risks, I believe. The first day I ever met the Radiation Oncologist, he said to me that they (at the center where I'm treated) are all on my side, and are all working with me for a cure. Yes, he said that word, "cure." No promises or guarantees other than they will be doing their part and I'll do mine. They are very positive that PCI will be beneficial to me, and since I have much trust in them, that's a major reason why I'm sure I'll agree to it if and when it is recommended. Thanks to all of you chiming in on this -- it's quite controversial! And a special thanks to you, Doc Joe. You're quite a human being to give of your time and expertise to us as you do. Di

Deb -- that's fantastic! I probably share your joy at just hearing that -- I had amazingly good news after my 2nd round of chemo and before the radiation started. It's what lit a fire under me and kept me motivated to keep going with treatment. When I first heard the news and got through the shock, it would still occur to me that I might be just wasting my time and everyone else's with treatment, but when I heard that good news, it was like a new ME emerged instantaneously! When I went for round 4 of chemo, my platelets were at about 85,000 and they wanted them to be at least 100,000 for chemo. This was a Friday, and the Oncologist said they'd probably be back up in a few days, so I rescheduled chemo for the next Wednesday. When I got there, platelets were "well over" 300,000! Boy, did they come up, and fast! So many ups and downs in all this - it's nice to have such great "UPS", huh!!! Tell your mom to hang in there -- if I were close to you, I'd come over and give her a big ol' hug! Di

Welcome, Patrice. As the others have said, this is a great place to be if you have to be here. I have SCLC too, limited stage, diagnosed just about a month before you. Lilke you, I've had virtually no side effects from chemo & radiation. Last week, I felt better than I have in months. This week, I'm still feeling great, just not so elated about it! Today, I'm back to the Oncologist, and then Monday back to the Radiation Oncologist. I'll probably have a scan or two soon to see where things stand. I'm feeling optimistic about it, since there was "dramatic" reduction in the size of the tumor after just 2 rounds of chemo, and before I had the radiation. During radiation, they told me the tumor was still disappearing, so I'm hopeful that it is GONE and will stay GONE! This disease is a scourge. Plain & simple. It's scary, but there is a great deal of hope to come from it. Perhaps the great irony is that it quite often makes people better in many ways -- we some bad habits, pay more attention to our bodies and what's going on with them, we cling to loved ones, we gain new and unbounding appreciation for the many blessings we have, etc. Heck, you can get an entirely new take on life just by reading postings in this forum by Dean Carl - he has an extraordinary way with words that just describe the view in his own backyard that will give you chills. Take care of yourself. We care about you. Di

Francine, I had a little bit of a laugh reading about you and the Tylenol. My 91 year old mother has some pain from arthritis, and had reactions to all the newer drugs on the market. She was about at wits end, and I kept telling her to try Advil or Ibuprofin. I finally bought her some when I was visiting her last fall, and lo & behold, it worked! I don't know if she was more shocked that it actually worked better than all the Rx's she'd paid for, or that her youngest daughter was actually right about something! Anyway, I don't know about pain meds, but I DO know about whining! Go for it! Right after I was diagnosed, I found myself trying to stop the pity parties and whining episodes, and then decided to just let them come and I'd fall apart now and then if I needed to. It worked great! After having a few episodes, I got it out of my system, and went on about life. It's been a long time now since I've had one, but I don't try to stop them any more. Going out on the screened in back porch and screaming now and then works too. (Let the neighbors know what's going on first!) Di

Freaky. You are all in my mind, and I'm in yours! I'm 4 1/2 months non-smoking now, and have the occasional smoking dream. When I do, it's like I realize that I'm not smoking any more, and in the dream, try to get rid of them or hide them! I've had many little bouts of nostalgia, but so far not a real craving to smoke. The real temptation is when I come out of Starbucks and see people sitting outside in the beautiful fall weather, drinking their coffee and smoking. Aaaarrrggghhh!! The thought that pops up immediately after that one is that for me, smoking equals death. No ifs, ands, or buts about it -- it means death. I chose treatment. I chose the path of hope and to fight this disease tooth and nail. If I choose to smoke, then that means I'm just wasting my time, energy, and money on trying to be cured. The Pulmonologist told me smoking would probably have no effect on my current condition, but now I know I'm genetically predisposed to lung cancer, I'd probably just be working on another, new tumor, and I do NOT want to go through this all again! It's always my choice -- always. To smoke or not. To live or to die. For now, I want very much to LIVE and will do all I can to make the right choices to make that happen. And while we're on the subject, I want all of YOU to live too! So there.

I agree with Eileen. IMO, we just can't change people into who we want them to be. When he's decided he should quit and is ready to do so, he probably will. I think that when we love people, we do just that -- love them, no matter what, warts and faults and all. Just letting him know that you love him and are concerned is worth a lot, believe me. He may also be in a place where the smoking calms him and relieves some of the tension and fear he has over the cancer, so it's a dual edge sword, so to speak. He may have a fear that if he stops smoking, he will lose the ability to have that calm assurance that such a habit often gives to people. Knowing he has people like you who care about him may help him realize that cigarettes aren't the only place where you can get that calm feeling. Sometimes, people seem to think that since they already have lung cancer, smoking isn't going to hurt them. My pulmonologist told me early on that smoking probably wouldn't have an effect on the cancer I have now, but if I smoked, I'd probably be working on another tumor, since my body has now shown that it is genetically likely to react to smoking with cancer, and did I want to go through all this again??? No way! However it turns out, it's my bet that you'll have more influence over him if you go the route of loving and supporting him, and letting him know you're there for him than trying to nag him into quitting! That's just my opinion though -- you are the one who knows the person, and will know best what to do and say. My very best wishes to you both. Di

Oh, Sharlene, it's difficult to know what to say that will help. Truthfully, there probably aren't words to really help right now, so I'll just send you all my good and positive vibes and prayers that things go well for you. Just as when we grieve, we humans go through emotional stages, and I'm thinking this is one of those stages for you, emotionally speaking, and that you'll move onto another one and another, and maybe a few more before you settle back into the stage that lets you fight this with all pistons firing. For the time being, maybe just let us and your friends and family do the hoping and praying and positive thinking for you, and when you are ready, just jump right in with both feet! Di

Strange, huh Becky. I didn't get the irritation in my mouth, just the bad taste. They kept telling me that if the inside of my mouth felt sensitive to stop using Listerine, but that never happened thankfully. Things just had a strange taste, so I latched onto the popsicles early on. I started out using Life Savers, but didn't want all that sugar in my mouth and teeth, so switched to popsicles. Dole has boxes of them made from real fruit juice with no sugar added - they are great! Di

Good decision, I believe. Stock up on popsicles -- they really help if you get a bad taste in your mouth from the radiation. I'm now an official popsicle addict! Many best wishes ... Di

So, you feel awful, it's a holiday weekend, your doc is out of town, and you go to a walk-in clinic near your home, run by what you think is a reputable medical facility. You have a chest x-ray, knowing that even though one isn't in the building, a Radiologist will interpret and report on that x-ray, and that you will receive a separate bill for that interpretation. The desk where you checked in assured you that their facility is a participating provider in your insurance plan, and confirmed the contractual status of your plan. Weeks later, you get an EOB (explanation of benefits) from your insurance company for the $34 Radiologist bill -- $34 less $22 discount = $12 that you owe. You then pay the $12 and that one's taken care of. Right? Well, maybe not. You continue to get bills for the $22 from the imaging center and then get a final notice, so you call them up and let them know that the $22 was a contractual discount and that you don't owe it, only to find out that unbeknownst to you, the particular doc that read your x-ray dropped his contract with your insurance company a mere 2 weeks before reading your x-ray. Not only that, the twit who answers the phone has every expectation that you - the patient - will pay this bill, saying that it's your insurance company's responsibility to notify you when doctors drop out of their program. (As if any insurance company could reasonably do this with tens of thousands of providers they contract with? Yeahright) Here is the rub -- you are assured when you check in that this is indeed a preferred provider. They don't tell you, and probably don't know themselves who is/isn't a preferred provider among all the various specialty doctors who provide services to their clinic. So, who DOES know? You couldn't even ask about it when you check in, because -- YOU HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING who will be reading your x-rays, and neither do they! Good grief. So, in my usual shy and laid back demeanor ( ) I let them know that I will NOT pay this. She then tells me I'll pay it or it will go to collection. Haha. So, I have to inform her that: 1) I'm a cancer patient. Does she think that a lousy $22 bill is going to send me away quaking in my boots? Think again, sweet cheeks. 2) I have thousands of dollars in medical bills to pay -- deductible, co-pay, etc., and this $22 scam of theirs isn't even close to being at the top of what I'll be paying next. 3) The x-ray they made was of such poor quality that it had to be repeated when I got to the hospital. 4) The radiologist in their imaging center misread the x-ray, and called the pneumonia I had "possible scarring from previous disease." Had I listened to him, I'd probably be near dead today, if that much. I did contact my insurance company, and they are going to reprocess my claim. Now, my deductible has been met, so they are going to treat the claim as an in-network provider even though it wasn't, per my policy, and probably will pay all but about $7 of the bill. I've also filed a report with the Better Business Bureau, and will do the same with the state Attorney General's office if they fail to respond to the BBB inquiry. (Companies aren't required to respond to the BBB, but they are required to respond to the AG's office.) Why, oh why should I even have to be dealing with this now? Geez!!!