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Sexual Confessional

Mr Ry

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A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest.

''Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.''

''Tell all of your sins, my daughter.''

''Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times,'' she says.

The priest thinks about this long and hard and says, ''Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink it.''

''Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?''

''No,'' the priest says, ''but it'll wipe that smile off your face!''

Points for the men on this one. :P

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I thought it was going to be about the man who went to confessional to receive absolution of his adultery. And the priest insisted that he know the woman with whom he had slept. "Was it Mrs. Smith?" "No, I won't tell you," the man replied. "Mrs Jones? Mrs. Johnson?"

As the man was leaving, his buddy asked him what he had gotten. "Ten Hail Mary's and three good leads."


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The other confessional joke I like is about the priest who is having his 25th jubilee at a parish. He and a local politician are giving speeches, but the politician is held up in traffic. And so the priest says, "Of course the seal of the confessional is inviolate. But I was really worried when I got here because the first man to come to me in confession was such a louse. He told me he had stolen a television, beaten his kids, and cheated on his wife. But after I had been here a while, I realized that he was an exception and this parish is full of such great and loving people."

When the politician arrived, he said, "I have loved Fr. Bob from the very beginning. In fact, I was the very first person ever to confess to him here. ..."


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