Need help from some x smokers

[ellakc2]

It will be 15 months at the end of this month since I have had a cig. I can actually say it has been easier than I have thought. I absolutely know it is a choice. This past week has been harder than all the months combined when it comes to my cravings. No one said it would be easy, but I thought I could control my cravings abit more as time went by.

Obviously not!!! I have racked my brains trying to think what has been

different this last week than others and I just don't know. My health has been good. My last CT scan in August shows clear. So what is up w/ wanting a cig so bad????? Has anyone out there gone through this type of

situation so long after quiting. I know I will always want one and have resigned to that fact, but this week has been bad. Any suggestions?????

[kimblanchard]

Hi Ella, It is tough, I smoked for 40 years and am now 4 years smoke free. My only suggestion is to keep doing what you are doing, but make a strong effort to get rid of the crutch that you keep clinging to "I know I will always want one"...that is only true if you let be true. If you don't want one then you wont want one....how's that Yogi-ism.

jim

[chloesmom]

Ella,

I'm just a little bit out ahead of you on the smoking thing--it's been almost 17 months for me. Maybe it would be helpful if you could convince yourself that the cravings will go away whether you have a cigarette or not. Why not just wait out the craving and not fall into that smoking addiction again?

I know this sounds like easy advice, but believe me, I've been there. Another thing that makes me try to stay strong is my overwhelming desire to stay alive. I think back to that first visit with my surgeon, before we even had the PET done, and he said the most important thing I could do to safeguard my health is to continue to not smoke. I think of that when the times get tough, and I also would not ever want to go in to see him or any of my other doctors for that matter and have to admit that I started again.

I have nightmares about smoking still, but I think I'm doing pretty good with all the trauma that I've had and I think you are too. Please don't give in--this too will pass.

Cindy

[luvmydog2]

I have been quit now for 18 months. For the past month or so I too have been wanting a cigarette. I can't explain why tho. I know that I only have one lung and can't risk it. Have you been around anyone that was smoking? Did you breathe the stong smell?

This may sound crazy but when I went to ER prior to being admitted, the smoke was so strong at the door. That was a month ago and when I started wanting one.

Another thing, and please don't anyone read this wrong. I am cancer free at the moment. I noticed you are too. Could it be that we got the h**l scared out of us when we were dx and not that we are cancer free, perhaps that fear is leaving us now.

Hang in there. It is tough. I smoked for 35 years. I was a chain smoker lighting one off the other. The urge will pass.

[SandyS]

It's been two years for me - and what I find it that the more things get back to "normal", the more I have cravings.

Kinda stupid, but the truth. At least they're fleeting and I haven't succumbed...........

Hang tough,

SandyS

[Guest pproctor]

I am only 7 mos. w/out a cig and had a terrible week last week also. It kept popping up in my head over and over. That...Just have one thought process. I have no idea what triggered it. No unusual stress or anything.

I got through it thank God!!!! I really want to live also and further more the people I love had to deal with me when I quit and it would be so unfair to put them through that again. I was a bit crabby.

Good luck

[Debi]

Okay, don't laugh at me but I think the change in the seasons brings it on for me... memories of smelling autumn leaves in the air while puffing on a cigarette. I think smoking, for me, was more enjoyable in the cooler weather. They don't call it a habit/addiction for nothin ya know...

I have been having smoking dreams just about every night.. and just night before last I had one that seemed so real. I'm also having alot of stress at my job, so that helps explain mine away...but I stick to my change of season theory...

[randired]

I used to smoke as well. I always find that the fall time is the time for ciggy cravings. Its not too hot or too cold. I remembering speaking with my therapist about this last year at this time when I was pregnant. I wanted a ciggy so bad it was killing me. He too admitted that the falltime he gets the same cravings (as an ex-smoker too)

I try to refocus myself much like when my son is playing with a toy I dont want him to have. Ill take it away and replace it with something thats just as cool and interesting. Just to make sure its not food i replce the cravings with, Ill do something on the computer or crochet..anything with my hands.

I hope the cravings pass soon. be strong.

[melaniem]

Hi, Ella,

You and I share the same story almost exactly. Upper rt. lobectomy followed w/chemo. Only difference is time. I just had my surgery 5 weeks ago today. Also, I was dx on my 37th birthday. I quit smoking as well as all of you did upon dx. Since I am still so early into it, I still have 'killer' cravings. Here's a really good, gross analogy that helps.

Think of your poor lung that has been cut and trying now to do the job of a whole lung. (I know it's a bit dramatic, but it works for me). It is struggling because of the damage we already did by smoking all those years. Now imagine yourself standing in one of those "smoking rooms" in the airport. You know, those rooms where you can 'see' the smoke because it's so thick, and the smell is disgusting and you are willing to go stand in there but you get out as fast as you can. Now you stink.. not only of your own cig but all those other people's too. Now imagine your damaged lung all engulfed in that smoke----GROSS! Now picture your sweet little grand-babies' faces Ella. I know it's a little 'out there' but, hey, it works for me. I try to visualize my lung and how it is trying to heal from such a traumatic surgery. I would never go and just drag it through dirt and grime, so to me that is what smoking would be like.

Oh, boy, listen to me. I really sound like a big-time ex-smoker, huh? 5 whole weeks. Who am I kidding, you've been 15 months. I think you should be so proud of yourself. Don't give in Ella. That's the ole' Devil trying to convince you that just one won't hurt. You know better. Why would you jeopardize all you've been through?? I'll have to come back and read this when my next craving comes around since I sound so sure of myself, which will probably be in like 10 min.

You just hang in there sweetie. It will pass.

Love,

Melanie

[Donna G]

It is one day at a time! I have had dreams about smoking! My mother said the same thing. The addiction hangs on so long. Must just remember You Can live without them. Donna G

[ellakc2]

Thanks everyone for your input. When I think back I quit smoking before my dx so when I was dx I wanted a cig so bad. If I didn't have one that day I never will. The craving started bad on 9-11-04 I was down

the seashore that week. It was the first time that I can remember being on the beach w/o a cig. I had my grandkids to keep me occupied. So when I got home, each week got worse. I do believe it's the fall. It's my favorite season. Having a cig in the cool weather is great. I try not to think of the good things I liked about smoking, because I did enjoy it. I do want to live and breathe. I really can't even afford to smoke. I remember when they went to 50 cent a pack I was going to quit. What a joke. Thanks guys it helped. Today seems much better. I was out of

work yesterday and today fighting a cold. It's the first time I have been

sick since my surgery and I think I'm feeling alittle bit sorry for myself.

Good luck all and take care.

[Addie]

It's only been a little over five months for me...and I've done pretty well, all considered.

But I only recently finished treatment...and then last Wednesday, got the great news that my scan showed NO evidence of disease! So we're in the car, headed home...and I turn on my cell phone to call a friend with the good news. As I'm waiting for the phone to find the signal....I start to reach into my purse again and I realize.....I'M REACHING FOR A CIGARETTE!

Old habits. A phone in my hand, and I'm preparing to sit and chat with a friend.....so I reach for a cigarette.

It really surprised me that after all this time, that *urge* would still be so strong and subconscious....but you know, maybe it shouldn't be such a surprise. Smoking was part of my life for 40 years.

When an urge gets into my conscious head...I just tell myself that smoking is what got me INTO this in the first place. Not totally, perhaps, but in large part. And why would I light up again and risk everything...now that I've managed to quit?

I know if I ever smoked ONE cigarette again....I'd be back smoking regularly. So....I just can't do it! Find yourself a lowcal snack that you like....and indulge in that instead. I mean, for me...celery or carrot sticks just don't cut it. But a bowl of popcorn is a pretty good indulgence and it's not as loaded with calories or fats as cookies or potato chips but is more satisfying than veggies!

I'm up a few pounds right now which makes me really uncomfortable...but the flip side, is that it's better than smoking again.

Another thing that helps...is that my windows and walls, drapes and light fixtures AREN'T ALL YELLOW anymore, from smoke!!! My clothes don't smell like smoke and if I had hair, it wouldn't either!

Consider the benefits of not smoking. Then go make yourself a big bowl of popcorn and.....what the hell....put a little butter on it too. You've earned it!

[ellakc2]

Thanks Addie,

I also have done what you have done. Just a few weeks ago I wandering

around the house ready to leave w/ my oldest daughter ( who is a exercise physgolicist) and she says, what are you looking for and I say my cigs. She screams WHAT??? I got in a fit of laughing, the look on her face was horror. You aren't smoking again? I couldn't breathe from laughing at her and myself for looking for something I haven't had for 15 months. Old habits die hard. I wouldn't have to worry about the cigs killing me, my kids would. Thanks for the encouragement.

[chloesmom]

Ella,

You mentioned those cravings coming up when you went to the beach. I think that's part of it. The first year for me was full of those, well, last time I did this I had a cigarette, moments. Cooking Thanksgiving dinner, making Christmas cookies, car trips, golf, planting flowers, working in the yard, painting, etc. Always, always, breaks in the activity signalled a smoke.

Now that I've done a whole year without them, I feel a lot more comfortable. But, there's still that chair at the kitchen table that I used to sit at and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes and look out into the back yard from every morning. I still don't sit in that chair in the morning. My whole routine has changed. I sit in another chair, get all my things ready for work while the dog is eating and outside, and then I get right in the shower.

I do agree with the theory about fall too--it's one of my favorite times of the year and I think that stirs up an urge. Oh, man, that just reminded me--taking a smoke break while raking leaves! Always something.

But, you know what? We don't have to feel uncomfortable in the movies anymore, or the airport, or the ballpark, or a non-smoking restaurant, or work, if you can't smoke in the building (I couldn't). Those are the really great things---plus, I don't cough anymore!

I guess old habits die hard, but this is one that was good to kill!

Cindy

[SDianneB]

Freaky. You are all in my mind, and I'm in yours!

I'm 4 1/2 months non-smoking now, and have the occasional smoking dream. When I do, it's like I realize that I'm not smoking any more, and in the dream, try to get rid of them or hide them!

I've had many little bouts of nostalgia, but so far not a real craving to smoke. The real temptation is when I come out of Starbucks and see people sitting outside in the beautiful fall weather, drinking their coffee and smoking. Aaaarrrggghhh!! The thought that pops up immediately after that one is that for me, smoking equals death. No ifs, ands, or buts about it -- it means death.

I chose treatment. I chose the path of hope and to fight this disease tooth and nail. If I choose to smoke, then that means I'm just wasting my time, energy, and money on trying to be cured. The Pulmonologist told me smoking would probably have no effect on my current condition, but now I know I'm genetically predisposed to lung cancer, I'd probably just be working on another, new tumor, and I do NOT want to go through this all again!

It's always my choice -- always. To smoke or not. To live or to die. For now, I want very much to LIVE and will do all I can to make the right choices to make that happen.

And while we're on the subject, I want all of YOU to live too!

So there.

[osirus226]

I only smoked for 5 years when I quit last April on Easter, but I STILL had dreams long after I quit about smoking and in my dreams I would know that I shouldnt be smoking and then be sad about ruining all the time I went without one and then try to hide it. It's really wierd, because in my conscious mind I never really think about cigarettes at all, it almost feels like I never smoked at all. The things that help keep me smoke free are smelling fresh laundry or other things that smell clean and fresh and I just think in my mind how nice and fresh my clothes and hair will smell if I'm not smoking and how nice my mouth will taste without the stale taste of cigarettes in it. Not to mention the cost of cigs, Geez

Here, they are close to $5 a pack. Thats also a good deterrent.

Kelly

[lindseysmom]

It is very tough. It has 2 years and a couple of months since I quit smoking. There are times I still want one. The other night I even reached for one. I know that I can never pick one up again, not for even one puff, my addiction was and is that bad. I too have had dreams about them.

I don't think about it all the time anymore. In fact I can't stand to be around smoke anymore. I work with the public and there are times that someone who smokes will come into my office and I start coughing.

Best Wishes,

Dee