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Communication 101 for men


teresag

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Guys, since you haven't quite figured it out for yourselves, we women have compiled this handy guide to communication with the spouse.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRASAFE: Here, honey, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRASAFE: Here, honey, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so dang worked up about?

SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

ULTRASAFE: Here, honey, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

ULTRASAFE: Here, honey, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRASAFE: Here, honey, have some more chocolate.

And one parting anecdote:

My significant other, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring so he could monitor my complex emotions. It's working!

When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

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