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Need advice and encouragement


Elaine

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I wrote in another thread about my upcoming new appointment with a new PCP that I have tomorrow afternoon. I am already thinking of cancelling, so I need some strength (aka courage) to go through with it.

For the past six years I lived in a very small community. I couldn't go anywhere without seeing people I knew. Having grown up in a large city, that at times seemed a little too much, lol. But there was comfort in it, too. Familiar faces and knowing that at least someone cared enough to gossip, lol!!!

Before that I lived for 5 years in one spot-and had my Dr and I felt like I knew her pretty well. I trusted her. I could talk to her. She wasn't a stranger. I think the scariest thing for me has been all these STRANGERS! After my first experience, which I have shared with some of you, I am more afraid of the actual people who I will meet tomorrow than the tests themselves. Not the people, so much but their attitudes.

But now I am in a new city and I know no one. I was assigned my first Dr and that didn't work out. So, now I have finally decided I need to do something.

There were two doctors I was interested in at this place I am going and neither of them were availavble, so I just had to have who was available. She is a kid just out of med school. I dont know why that bothers me so much, but maybe because I don't want to have to comfort her, lol.

The receptionist at the office was rude, so that gave me lots of pause....

So basically, I just picked a building--this practice has many diferent Doctors and specialties AND they have a MRI and Cat Scan right there, so maybe I won't have to wait so long for results. Not a good way to pick a DR.

My husband says, "Who cares who the Dr is!!!"

Am I the only one who gets this freaked out by these details!?

I did meet a nice dentist, lol, but darn, he can't order the tests!

If nothing else, pls pray that I meet a kind person and that I don't get lectured about having been a smoker or that I don't get that pitiful look--.

Maybe I am just too sensitive. I don't know what is wrong with me really, besides this nasty cancer!

Once I get through tomorrow, I will be asking for other prayers. I hate to be so needy, but I really, really, am beginning to see myself as some kind of basket case.

And I used to be able to put on a pretty good show of strength.

elaine

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Elaine,

I get nervous over new doctors. I hated the whole idea of military hospitals and the Russian Roulette of physicians there....in fact, I had to be pretty darn sick to even pick up the PHONE! I hear where you are coming from...

MAYBE this person right out of medical school won't need your comfort, MAYBE she'll have some of the newest knowledge and have some ideas on "what works in the BIG world, not just Kansas"...MAYBE she'll doubt herself enough to follow through on "gee, what if..." and get you those flippin' tests!

My PCP is not just out of medical school, but I trust her because she knows what she DOESN'T know, and lines me up with specialists when it's all over her head. THAT means a lot to me, a doctor with a pretty broad base of knowledge and sense enough to know when it's too much for her...

Here's hoping you are FINALLY going to get what you need!

All my best,

Becky

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Elaine

To me there is nothing worse than having to find a doctor. I never have any luck it seems. I guess its just to much to ask these days for a doctor to take them time, to listen to you, and truly want to help, no matter what the problem is. We have been looking for a new general doc for my mom lately and no, judging a doctor on his facilities is not crazy, its exactly the sort of thing that is important to me. I recently had braces put on my daughter and lost abpout 1200.00 because i switched her to another orthodontist after the braces were put on. The office staff and manager were just horrid and i knew there was no way I could deal with them monthly for the next 2-3 yrs, so I just swollowed (and choke some) on my loss and moved on. But I am happy happy now.

I bet living in a small town as you, there just isnt a wide selection to choose from. I will pray that this young girl is just what you need and all wokrs out. Moms rad doc was maybe 30 (thats pushing it) and she was just an awesome person, almost didnt even feel like she was a doctor, but she knew her stuff. Just a normal person, so even though the age thing worries you sometimes it ok. Just go see her, interview her, i mean you are basically going to be hiring her to do a "job" in watching over your health.

Good Luck and please keep us posted

Kim

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Elaine...

Just remember that doctors are human too....and sometimes, you have to allow a second chance. My onc was positive AND seemed very knowledgeable up front. Plus...my PCP told me he'd sent his own mother to this onc!!

But yet, as you'll recall, on my last day of chemo my onc sort of took the wind out of my sales by being kind of negative. Still....I allowed for the fact that maybe he'd had a bad day....and when I saw him last week for the results of my scan, he was again positive and upbeat and even ended the apptmt. by giving me a big hug and kiss on the cheek! (It's okay...my hubby was right there in the room! :wink: )

My point is....he seemed "off" somehow on that last day of chemo...but if I'd just reacted to that, I might have been overreacting. And I agree too, with Becky, that perhaps this new doc will be on top of the very latest ideas in treatment....so don't count her out just cuz she's newly practicing. Give it a shot...and see how it goes.

But do NOT cancel your appointment!! You need to see where things stand at the moment...and you need to give yourself a chance at finding the right doctor.

Never mind that the receptionist was rude. She could have been having an off day too. The receptionist at my onc's didn't leave a great impression on me the first time I tried to set up an appointment. I posted about it here....she was saying she couldn't get me in for 3 weeks or so. I tried to get her to understand that with sclc, you don't WAIT three weeks! :roll:

Anyway, today...this gal is one of my buddies in the office! She always wants to chat when I'm there...and I've come to see her as being really competent and good at her job! But that was NOT my first impression.

So....give all this a chance, Elaine. Go...keep the appointment and see how it goes. With as much dread as you are feeling...I'd be willing to be that it will go COMPLETELY the other way and you'll not only love the doc, but the receptionist too!

We're here to help with your angst...but you KEEP THAT APPOINTMENT, or no cocktail celebration for you tomorrow night...ya hear? 8) And I won't wear my lampshade hat, either! :wink::D

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Dear Elaine,

Well, you know we all know what it is your feeling right about now. Wish you didn't have to go through it! But, I'm sure you'll do just fine. Are you scheduled for an MRI and a CT scan tomorrow? If so, the good news is, you get them over with at once and not having to go back, and go back, etc.... When did you have your last check up? Oh, I can't keep track as hard as I try. :? Just take that deep breath we always talk about and I'll hope you get some good news.

Good luck and keep us posted. We'll be looking for your next post after your checkup in the Good News Forum.

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First of all let me say that you are not a basket case. Don't ever be afraid to ask for our prayers. You know what, you are going to get mine whether you want them or not. Get those test done. As far as the young doctor you got to remember he only orders the test. Somone else reads them. Perhaps that doctor might just be from the "ole school." If you don't like what the young man tells you after the test, simply get someone else to interept them for you.

At any rate, go them them done. Besides if you don't I'll ask Ry to fine

you big time. We might even ban you from the Chat Room. :cry:

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I know how you feel. It's the worst thing to have to see a new doc, I think, right in the middle of everything else. I recently changed oncologists, and so far I really like the new one, so it was worth a change.

The only advice I would give to someone thinking about a change is to DO IT. If you don't feel good about your docs, don't have full confidence in them, can't go for an appointment without a feeling of dread at seeing him/her, then by all means, change!

IMO, I'd keep the appointment anyway just to see. Like others have said, there are pros and cons to young doctors, and you might just find that she's a real jewel.

Hoping for the best for you ...

Di :)

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Hi Elaine..

Wish I had some words of wisdom for you here. However, if I gave you any advice, then that means that I would be talking out my a**...I am in exactly the same spot you are in...actually, you are one step ahead of me. I "fired" that bad doc and now I have to find a new one and I just dread changing horses in the middle of this fast moving stream...

All I can say is, "I know zactly what you are going through"

Cindi o'h

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Elaine,

I know how you feel about changing doctors. When I was first referred to my oncologist and radiation docs I was nervous as could be. My radiation doc has only been practicing for about 5 years when I started seeing her and I love her. The first day I met her I think she was trying to impress us with her knowledge and trying to tell us to trust her. She did not do a good job of it and I had real mixed emotions. I decided to give her a little time and boy am I glad I did. She is great and I think she has given me good treatment. You are already in my prayers Elaine, but today I will say a very special prayer that your new PCP will be just the kind of person you need...like Becky said, someone who cares and knows when to say "I don't know". I think that is about all you can do.

Nina

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Elaine,

You are just human with the thoughts and feelings you are having. You are not falling a part.

I think it can definitely be an advantage to have a young doctor:

1. They learned the latest technical information and procedures.

2. They aren't set in their ways about treatments and options.

3. They want to show they are competent and compassionate--the new measure of success (I hope- probably very naive).

4. They aren't afraid to ask others for assistance (usually).

I have a good feeling about your visit. I will be praying for you and for your test results to be great! Take care.

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Thinking of you today...

Geoff's mom saw a NUMBER of older, experienced, well-recommended doctors when she was not feeling well prior to her dx. None of them even thought LC or ordered an x-ray. Not one. She did not fit the standard "profile".

It was not until she was mistakenly hospitalized for something she did not have--and was not responding to the treatment being given--that a YOUNG, female doctor looked at her chart and thought that aomething odd was going on that needed some exploration. SHE ordered the x-ray that led to a proper dx of LC.

Who knows--as others have said, sometimes it may be a bonus to be bright and "too young" to have seen many cases. If you are thoughtful, it may give you the edge in that you may not assume you know what is going on without getting the evidence (medical tests) to back your theory up.

Regardless--selecting doctors is truly stressful. You are not a basket case--just human. ((HUG))

Let us know how the appointment goes.

Melinda

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Thanks all

My anxiety is building, as you can imagine.

If I had an appointment with an old Dr., I can assure you I would have thought of some "fear" I had about him and would have posted IT, LOL.

The last guy was old and kept saying how young and bright I was to have ruined my and my family's life--direct quote--so I am thinking maybe I will appear OLD and stupid to this doctor, LOL. I will be sure to bend and hobble more and hope that helps! Unfortuanatley, the hobble is a little more real than I would like to admit!

I love you ALL and will do my best to actually meet this appointment. I do need meds, so that is an added incentive!

love and wishing I had some of that fortitude

elaine

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You've given me so much of that fortitude in the past, so I'm throwing it right back at you. Wish I was there to take you to the doctor. But if she's young and just out of school, she'd probably make me feel old, then I wouldn't be any help at all!

Will be anxious to hear how things go.

Love,

TeeTaa

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Elaine,

I am going to tell you a little story. I was Dx by my Mom's Dr, he has been taking care of her for years, and I like and trust him. He figured out my problem and sent me to the Onc that he would send a family member to, in his words. That was in October, in January Medicaid informed me I had to choose one of their HMO's. My Doc didn't take any of their HMO's!! All of a sudden I had to switch to a total stranger for my PCP!! I was very upset! Well I chose one of the HMO's and found a close Dr. The change went into effect Feb 1st. I needed a referral to continue seeing my Oncologist. I had Chemo scheduled for Feb 2nd!! The office and Dr saw me on Feb 1st, they jumped thriough hoops for me! They are wonderful kind and compassionate. 5 months later, Medicaid switched me out of the HMO with no warning to something called share of cost. Now I needed a Dr who would take straight Medicaid, almost impossible to find. My wonderful Dr is now treating me free of charge so that I don't have to go through all of that again!

The point I am making is that a new Dr can be a positive and good thing! Not a big disaster at all so good luck and keep an open mind!

Blessings

Betty

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