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What I read lately.


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The book was a mystery by Sue Grafton and I was surprised to see

the following words about grief.

* I feel like grief is an illness, I can't recover from.

What worries me is I notice there is a certain attraction to the

process that's hard to give up.

It's painful, but at least it allows me to feel close to my lost one.

Once in a while, I catch myself thinking of something else and I

feel guilty.

It seems disloyal not to hurt, disloyal to forget even for a moment

that this person is gone.

I try to wean myself. Every day I mourn a little less.

In the meantime, I pretend to be a whole person, but I'm not.


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I am a big Sue Grafton fan. The only book I have not read is her new 'R' book.

But boy, did that capture exactly the way I feel. If I find I have not thought of Earl for a little while I feel guilty. When I think of him, which is almost always, I am sad beyond belief.

I truly hope that time will allow me to think of him with a smile and not tears.

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jc, i am at a loss as to what to write, but wanted you to know that i read your post and that it touched me deeply. these days i dream about my dad more and more and the dreams always seem to be that he is still alive and beat the cancer. then i wake up and remember he truly is gone. sending you strength and love. mirrell

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I don't know what book you are reading but boy is that ever a good discription. I have felt just like that. Many times feel the need of the pain to keep me close to Johnny and afriad if I lose it I will lose him for good.

The person that wrote that must be well aquainted with grief. It is just so hard no matter how much time passes. Lillian

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