LITTLE JOHNNY

[Frank Lamb]

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the

stranger turned to Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that

flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow

passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said

to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let

me ask you a question first.

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer

excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a

horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to

discuss nuclear power when you don't know crap?"

[Snowflake]

FRANK,

Do you remember the "Willy" poems?

Willy saw some dynamite

Didn't understand it quite

Curiosity seldom pays

It rained Willy seven days

Oh heck, I cannot remember any more of 'em right now. I used to have such a supply in the back of my brain...if I can just figure out how to work the new filing system up there...

[cindi o'h]

How about this one?

Down by the river where nobody goes....

There stood a woman without any clothes.

Along came Johnny swingin' his chain,

Zip! Zap! Zing! out it came.

Three months later... all is well..

Six months later, she began to swell...

Nine months later, out it came...

Another little Johnny....swingin' his chain.....