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"The Best Mom" has taken another form


Guest bbypookins

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Guest bbypookins

My mom passed away on Thursday, October 28, 2004 at 5:57 a.m. while I held her hand. My father and sister were asleep in the other room so it was very quiet with just a little light from the night light. Something compelled me to wake up around 5:30 and when I looked at her, I noticed her breathing was much shallower. So, I got up and laid next to her to hold her hand. I counted the seconds between her easy breaths until no more came. It was the most peaceful death I could have hoped for her. She never struggled with her breathing, which was her biggest fear.

It happened much quicker than any of us expected. Although she had told us she was tired of fighting, I didn't see any reason why she wouldn't be around for another month or so. But, she had her last bite of food on the previous Friday and the next day she told the hospice nurse that she was ready to die but that we wouldn't let her. Actually, she meant my father who was never able to tell her it was okay for her to go. We had the social worker there the day before she passed and she talked to my dad about the fact that she was holding on for him. I never knew until that moment how much my father loved my mother. When I went in to wake him up and tell her she was gone he came into the room and collapsed to the ground. I've never seen anything like it and my sister and I were completely terrified. He couldn't breathe, he shook as if he was having a seizure and was choking on his own saliva. It took us an hour and a half to get him to breathe normally again.

Mom had my dad call me at work on the 26th (I knew it would be soon so I was just there to wrap things up) and she got on the phone to tell me it was time for her to go and she wanted me next to her. I tol dher I wouldn't I would come right home and I wouldn't leave her side. She said, "Oh, that's wonderful." Just two days before she had told me how beautiful I was and that she loved me so much. I can't imagine a luckier person, having had a mom like her, except if I had gotten to have her around for 30 more years. But one comforting thought is that now I can talk to who whenever I need to, and I do all the time. I can feel her around me.

Here is the link to her obituary, which I wrote. I hope I did her proud.

http://www.legacy.com/SacBee/LegacySubP ... Id=2765753

Thank you to everyone on this board who has helped me over the last 13 months--the most difficult year of my life. I couldn't have gotten through it without you.

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Your post about your "best mom" was just beautiful and it brought tears to my eyes. She was so beautiful and her obit reflected that beauty. I'm so sorry for you, your dad, her mom and the rest of your family. This is always just a very hard thing to get through. May God be with you during this difficult time.

Love,

Peggy

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Kim

I am saddened to hear of your loss. Your mother is a beautiful woman. I read the many posts on her guestbook and what a special person, mother, wife and friend she was. I hope you can find comfort knowing that she lives on in the memories of her loved ones.

You are a testament to her greatness. My God bless you, your father and all of your family in this difficult time.

love and fortitude

elaine

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Kim,

I'm so sorry for your loss. You absolutely give your mom something to be proud of! It sounds like she gave you a lot of her strength.

I witnessed the same peaceful death with my mom. In a wierd way, it is such a gift to be there, isn't it? It made me that much closer to my mom...I can't explain it. There was someone there on the other side that took her and brought her to her next life...I swear it. She was calm and I felt that she had a companion. I'm confident it was my grandma. It was that moment, that I knew she was going to be okay and that it was just us left behind that are suffering. When I read your post it all came back to me. I also had to tell my Dad that she had passed. He had been by her side for three days straight and decided to leave for just a half hour so he could go take a shower and change. He loved her so much and I believed my mom stuck around because he couldn't let her go. I don't know what was more painful...losing my mom or watching my Dad lose the love of his life.

If you are ever up for going to a grieving group here, let me know and I'll meet you there. I haven't been to one in a long time, but I know I could use it.

I know how painful this is and how shocked you must be right now. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Take Care,

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