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Hall Pass


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I guess it's time for a hall pass. Haven't been able to be on the board much. Been too emotional, the minute I read something the slightest bit upsetting on here, I lose it and can't pull myself together.

Guess the depression may be taking over, must be time to switch from anxiety meds to depression meds, will have to call about this tomorrow.

Still feelin crappy and am totally amazing by all this, I thought after a few weeks I would a least feel "more" better then I do.

I think maybe I need to be selfish and pull away because I am no use to anyone who needs me here right now. I can not answer questions objectively, and like I said, when someone has a problem, I burst into tears and can not be consoled.

I'll try to pull myself together and get back so I can give back the support that was/has been given to me.

I still mean it about the support group in VA though, only heard from two people though, so far.

David C/Karen and Cindi O, don't leave me, still want to talk. I'll still get the messages that I have responses or mail and will read them, just can't read the others on the board and respond.

Seems I'm blabbering on and on, sorry. Just trying to explain myself. Thanks everyone and I'll try to be back soon, once I can get the tears under control!

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How about the pumpkin hall pass to go with your hat? I think you are right about the medication Beth...time for some help. I also go through those down periods when things are sad on the board. We all grow so close. Take care of yourself, come back when you can, and good luck with the support group.

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Well, the way I see it, Missy, is this is a SUPPORT board....this is where you come FOR support!!! Duh!!! Just because you can't and I mean CAN'T give support, it doesn't mean that YOU can't receive it. If there was a time in anyone's life that was meant to be "selfish" it is now!!! When you are sick, and I know you still are, You need us more than ever.. (When I was sick, I had nothing to give) I felt badly about it, but now that I am on the other side, it all makes better sense. Take it easy sweetie and let someone dote on you.... (US)

Don't you be pulling away, there little Missy!!! I know that I care about you and your teenie weenie throat. Who is going to hear about who gave you a big ole Heimlich to dislodge a pill unless you come here to brag about it?

In my opinion, you have some crazyass idea that as soon as tx ended, that you were going to be some kind of superwoman and jump out the window to save someone else....well, honey, it just don't work that way... you have been knocked down and dragged behind the car...it will take time to heal up...whether you want it to or not...

(Listen to me..... :P )

Well, you can go see the shrink, but I expect you not to abandon yourself. You need Us, just as much as we need you. You little dickens. If you don't shape up and fly right, I am going to take away your rights to slurpees and make you eat mashed potatoes 3X a day for the next 365 days.

Ry!!!! Are you there, Ry?

Deny this Punkin head's hall pass....she's just mad cuz she dint get no candy last night!!!

Beth, I love ya, kid. You hang in there...

Cindi o'h

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oh yeah, one other thing...

Ry? Could you restrict the Kids' views to "just for laughs" for awhile? And then let her post til her heart's content? Then could you make it so that she can only read from her post and no one else's for awhile???

This kid has got to get back on her feet...as long as I'm at it...did you know she loves to play with Legos and watch Cartoons???

Keep on pouting, Beth, and I will tell all of your other secrets!!! :twisted:

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Thanks Cindi, your making my laugh!

I'm trying, it is just killing me to read the posts right now, I can't stay objective, it's just knocking my feet out from under me and seems likes it's doing more harm then good.

I hate to come here and whine everyday and not be able to give anything back, plus I don't want to upset the new person who comes along and may read my post and think, oh my!

Once I can joke again it would be easier. Right now I'm a squashed pumpkin, gotta get the Doc to fix the brain and then come back to help.

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Hey Beth,

Sorry to hear that you are feeling pretty down. We all know that this battle is just as much an emotional roller coaster as it is physical. I agree with Cindy that there is no need to post - but come on and read the funny's. Keep everyone up to date on your progress. If you need support from others - ask for it.

First and foremost, be good to yourself. When you feel like crap - do something special for yourself (take a hot bath, eat an ice cream cone, snuggle up with your children/pet, call someone you haven't talk to for a long time. Take the time you need for your emotional health too. Sometimes a good cry is just what the doctor ordered.

Take care of yourself - I will be thinking about you whether you post or not.

Cheers to better health!


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I hear you, Beth, because I've been where you are, and I'm not the one with cancer. I've pulled away and was even going to quit at least twice because I've been so overcome with emotion. It does help to pull away for a little bit, at least it's helped me in the past. I read bbypookins' post today at work and had to log off because I started crying, and I still haven't written to her. I will, but I had to get a grip first.

You hang in there, sweetie. You are going to be ok. We will be here when you are ready to come back. Please keep us posted how you're doing when you can.

Love and prayers,


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Beth, please do what you need to do to get better so you can come back. We will miss you, but please keep in touch with DavidC/Karen or Cindi so they can let us know how you are doing. I have been on Zoloft since my first go around and it really helps. Just take care of yourself and don't be a stranger.

Love and hugs,

Nancy B

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You're not whining....you're venting. It's what we do when we're feeling overwhelmed. I'll understand if you choose to pull back for a time, but I hope that you will reconsider. One of the things this site affords us is a safe place to be sad and scared and angry and at odds with the world.

You know better what you need than we do. So you do what you have to do to, and we'll be waiting to hear from you, hopefully soon. You're a special person, Beth. You'll be missed.

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I have been thinking so much of you lately,wondering how things are going. Im so sorry, i didnt expect your post. If anyones entitled to a breather/rest/break its you. You have been put thru the ringer,then hung out to dry, on a rainy day!!

Hopefully by sitting back you will find a sense of peace and comfort. You can pm me anytime, and you will be in my prayers. God Bless you Beth.


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Do what you need to do for you. If you don't want to read the posts..then don't read read them....a Hall Pass won't stop you from coming to the site :lol:

What I'm trying to say is .....I'll miss you. Don't force your self out!!! Do what you can when you you can.

I take anti-D's. talk to your ONC....they do help.

luv ya



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Hey Beth,

I'm sorry you are struggling!! Please hang in there and know our thoughts and prayers are with you. I know it is hard to stay strong all the time and I think it is completely normal to have emotional bouts. At least that's what I am telling myself when I have trouble pulling it together!

I read your post about the support group and you can count us in!

God Bless you Beth.


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Do what you need. This board is hard to read sometimes (no reflection on the wonderful people here, it's just the nature of the beast). Takes a lot of energy out of me, and I'm not the one who's sick.

I was on anti-depressants (Zoloft) for a while when my first back surgery failed. Didn't make me happy, but equalized my mood a bit, kept me on an even keel until I was able to start fighting again. I recommend it highly.

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Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. We are always here to listen and we accept you any way you feel that moment. Rant, cry, whine, yell. We will listen. You need some time for you. Its your time to take and we will give to you. I hope to see you soon. Feeling better and better each day. Take care of yourself.


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