Dear Tech Support

[Nushka]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a

distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the

flower

and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend

5.0.

In

addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such

as

Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5. And then installed

undesirable

programs such as: NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.

Conversation

8.0

no longer runs, it simply crashes the system. I've tried running

Nagging

5.3

to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while

Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command:

C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should

automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as

designed,

Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry

2.0

and

Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause

Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer

6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snore

Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 3.0. This is

not

a

supported application and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband

1.0

is

a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new

applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software

to

improve memory and performance.

I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

P.S. Pardon the cut and paste.

[Frank Lamb]

Very cute 8.7.