Holidays are coming...secrets to get through?

[Guest daddysgirl]

My dad has been gone since March...time has flown by and we are doing okay. I haven't been on here in forever, sometimes it's just too hard. I am dreding the 1st's...we got through the first birthday and first Halloween but they were nothing compared to how hard I'm thinking Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be. I no longer have the tradition of breaking the wishbone with my dad, or making the mashed potatoes exactly how he likes them. I don't get to go out shopping for anything with the Philadelphia Eagles on it and there is no need to wrap his gifts in goofy boxes so he has no clue what it is. No more cookies to put out on Christmas eve (yes I still did that when I was 22 and visiting him, ). This is just so hard.

How do you get through it without hurting so much even though you try to stay positive?

[Frank Lamb]

Ashley,I hope you continue to heal from this hurt over time.I am still fighting and surviving (was diagnosed same time as your dad 04/03).Other than taking time and remembering the good things I dont know what else works.I have 3 daughters and always am hoping they will manage alright when my time is done.Prayers to you for strength & comfort and may time ease the pain.

[JoniRobertWilson]

Ashley,

We will be "celebrating" (LOL) Christmas and Thanksgiving for the first time without Robert this year as well. I'm not quite sure how we're going to do it either. This is going to sound so weird but while I was reading your post I just thought you needed to go buy something with the Philadelphia Eagles on it and donate it to the homeless. Seriously, does that sound weird? I just thought of it.

Robert wasn't a big "fan" of anything except his son and last time I checked Walmart they weren't selling anything with a big "Alex" on it. But, thanks to your letter I will find something I know Robert would like and I'll donate it. Brand new - something decent for someone homeless. Robert would like that. I imagine your dad would too.

Each year, we would buy for a child from the donation places in the mall and I'll do it again for him too.

I still count my blessings each day although I lost the best man in the world. He gave me one terrific son who I am determined beyond words to raise as he would have.

Perhaps knowing we're all out here struggling with our pain will make us all feel less alone. Glad you've posted again. Best of luck to you.

[kimblanchard]

I think you should do as many of the things you would have done as you can stand. May I personally recommend the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders' Lingerie Calendar? Surely there is a man in your life somewhere who would appreciate this. To quote TMQ, "Ye Gods!"

As I have been adjusting, I have either done things very much like the way Becky did them or exactly the opposite. Both of them to honor her. So I have raspberries and coconut on everything because she despised both. Or last night, Katie and I had sesame chicken because it was her favorite.

So for Thanksgiving, I will make her sweet potato recipe even though I would prefer them just plain ole baked. So rather than wrapping his presents in goofy boxes, wrap them all in goofy boxes. And surely someone will eat those cookies in the middle of the night. Even if it is you with tears streaming down your cheeks. It will hurt, but what a beautiful hurt.

It was good to hear from you again, Ashley. Best wishes as we all go through this terrible time.

Curtis