Don M Posted November 8, 2004 Share Posted November 8, 2004 It was October 31, 2003, when a “lung mass” was discovered in my left upper lobe. Since then I have had the lobe removed and 3 checkups. My last checkup was deemed “cancer free” by my oncologist. It almost seems like a ritual where the onc is a medical high priest, and I attend the ritual for his blessing, "I pronounce you cancer free". I pretty much do just fine until the day of my checkup. Then, I have several passing fear moments and go through several what if scenarios. My blood pressure has been high the last 3 checkups. At my last checkup, I had sat in the waiting room for 20 minutes practicing deep breathing in an attempt to bring myslef down so that my blood pressure would be normal. It did not work. I know my blood pressure is usually normal because I have had it checked in between onc visits. Anyway, I was cancer free, and felt lighhearted as I walked out of the doctor's office, humming and singing to myself, "cancer free, cancer free". I thought after I had the surgery I could forget all about it and go on with my life. Soon after I got out of the hospital, a friend of mine from work was diagnosed with lung cancer. I will always remember the moment when he came up to me and asked, “ How did you do it?” Of course, what he meant was how did I cope with having lung cancer. So, I told him about my coping methods and my experience. Up to this point I had decided to not visit the lc message boards and whatnot so that I could forget about my experience and go on. But what with my friend getting lung cancer, and because I was reminded every 3 months at my checkup that I had had lung cancer, I decided to come back to the forums and read and partake a bit. My friend had mets to the brain and was inoperable, but I would still glean what I could from the various sites and pass it on to him. He never found out about his cancer until he had a seizure. Because of the seizure, he experienced short-term memory loss, and found it difficult to get much done on line. Anyway, I would email him and tell him about stuff. He was a casual acquaintance really, he worked in a different office about a 3-hour drive away, but we became closer after he found out about his lung cancer. He died 2 weeks ago. He was a good guy and I will miss him. I continue to visit the message boards and will keep on. I read them every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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