Jump to content

God speaks in mysterious ways...


Recommended Posts

Hello to everyone. I really want to share a story with everyone.

Just 3 months ago I was cruisin' through life, making a big deal out of really small stuff, never knowing my life was about to take a huge turn. And then...WHOA....had to hang on to the counter because my world was shaken and the rug was pulled out from beneath me!!!

Now, I know that everyone here knows exactly what I felt then, but even NOW it sometimes feels surreal. I have cancer. Driving down the road I see people going about their everyday lives and I want to roll down my window and yell "I HAVE CANCER, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I'M ONLY 37!!!" And I am jealous and envious of their normalcy.

But I know that I am one of the lucky ones. Even with cancer, I count myself lucky. I really believe God has a plan for me, a plan for me with this cancer. So here's why I'm writing today........

After my surgery we waited 6 weeks and then I had my first 'round' of chemo. My cocktail waitress brought me a mix of cysplatin/taxotere. Let me assure you, I think they gave me plenty to do the job, as I was sick sick sick for an entire week. I never knew how cool the tile on my bathroom floor felt on my face, or how soft the rug around my toilet felt on my knees, oh and that taste in my mouth....that was lovely, toothpaste company needs to keep working on it though, cuz it don't work.

So I decided after that one round I had had enough. I announced at the cancer center that I was through and all my family was in support of this decision. But the onc and all the nurses begged me to let them have one more try. They promised they could give me other drugs to not be so sick.

I left still saying no and went home to prove my onc wrong. I spent all afternoon on the net reading study after study and all i could do was prove him RIGHT. I'm not big on stats but the #'s are pretty overwhelming that this IS the standard treatment and the results are convincing, even to me. So I started thinking maybe I should keep going.

Here's where God comes in. I haven't been on this site much since the chemo treatment. Then I read 'sundancin' post that she did NOT have chemo after her surgery and now... bless her heart, it's back. I've really been struggling with this decision and feel like God spoke to me through all of you guys. This board has meant the world to me since all this started and even when I'm away for a while my heart is here and I think of everyone.

I just wanted all of you to know that you are important, that everyone time you post you never know the impact you may be having on another. Thank you, sundancin, for convincing me to keep going w/the chemo.

Tomorrow, Tuesday, is when I go for my 2nd treatment so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Also trying to remember if it's kicking my butt that bad just imagine what it's doing to those micro-scopic cancer cells trying to hide in there!!!

Love to all,


Link to comment
Share on other sites


Great attitude! I lost my Dad to lung cancer and he fought with everything he had and the doctors had to beat this beast. He was a fighter and knew that if he "gave up" he had no hope. The only hope to beat cancer is to fight back! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.


Link to comment
Share on other sites


I am so glad that you decided to continue. This is coming from someone who has struggled through treatment, who has had allergeies to treatment and had side affects that my Doc had not heard of. It is hard and I have even been at a state that I begged to die to put me out of my misery. I AM NOT THE NORM!

I stopped two treatments shy of my treatment schedule because of allergies to the chemo, I see a new Doc on Friday, we are gonna discuss doing the two additional treatments and see if he can control the pain, throat yeast infection and low emune system that I had from taxotere. Hopefully he will have a better attitude and try to treat me and my symptoms.

Should you read some of my posts to see what has happened to me, please remember that I AM NOT NORMAL, do not use me and compare yourself. Don't want to scare you!

Keep fighting!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I cannot reply to most of your post, as I do not have cancer and cannot imagine how it must feel. But I do know how it feels to love someone and care for someone fighting this terrible illness. I would just like to send out a resounding AMEN to your last paragraph. This site and the many posts...and sometimes just one single post...can make the most incredible difference in my hour, my day and even my week!

Good luck in your fight and I will keep you in my prayers.


Link to comment
Share on other sites


The answer with cisplatin is to PREMEDICATE!

I was taking zofran tablets I think every 8 hours, or maybe twice a day and lorazepam twice a day 1 mg.

I had zofran and lorazepam (atavan) iv before the cisplatin and vp16.

I also had ETHYOL (amafosdine) to protect my hearing from the cisplatin, which can cause ringing and loss of hearing -- I experienced pain and some loss of balance in addition to nausea.

Itried not to let my stomach get empty -- also had to take prilosec (different from the OTC prilosec , more like the nexium now), quit drinking coffee. I would try to eat a good sandwich and yogurt or something like that after I had the anti nausea meds iv at chemo, because I knew I could eat then.

I also ate small regular meals even though everything tasted off, from the chemo.

I didn't have such a rough time with the cisplatin as I could have because of the premedications for nausea. I think if you ask your doctor you can work together to proactively eliminate the nausea.

The other thing that set off nausea was pain from physical therapy. Is your pain adequately controlled? That may also be a contributing factor.

Good luck, hon, and I hope things go better next round for you. Cisplatin is the BEST, but it's kinda rough.


Prayers always,


Link to comment
Share on other sites


Boy I can truly relate to your email. It was really hard for me to not want to yell and scream - I have cancer - everything became so different in my life. The plus side of this illness is that you do get a chance to stop and look at your priorities and change them if need be.

I am glad you changed your mind on the treatment. Heck your soooooo young, you have another 40 years left in you at least, might as well try to scare the cancer out now so you don't have a reoccurence later. I did have cisplatin, taxotere and vp16. I actually took 4 antinausea drugs with the cisplatin and was never nauseated (I had nausea problems from my surgery - I WASNT going through that again!). Remember that the treatment is temporary and you won't have to do it forever.

Best wishes for a smooth 2nd chemo.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

You go and take that treatment and keep on coming back here ok! I just started my treatment too! Taxotere and Tariquidar 2nd dose next week. We can share info on the Good Anti-Nausea Drugs. You are young and that will work in your favor. Stay Strong for you and :wink: you will win. Karen 55 and fighting too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm very happy to see that you've reconsidered treatment. No one would volunteer for chemo, but if it gives you a chance, I'm glad you decided to go for it.

Lean on the people at oncology too--they are there to help you through this--if I was faithful with the anti-nausea drugs, I was able to function. Didn't feel great, but didn't feel bad either.

Also, push fluids--coffee and tea and other caffeine things don't count. When I got sick of water, I'd drink Crystal Lite or something like that. If you can get that stuff flushed out, you'll feel a lot better. Dehydration is not fun.

Good luck, I'm glad you decided to do the chemo.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.