Oncodoc "clueless?" NO WAY!!

[JonathanS]

Hi Oncodoc,

It sounded like in your response to the "limited: is it curable or not?" you were discouraged about having been fired for the folks at Mayo or Sloan and Kettering. You have every right to be discouraged, but please remember- it is not you they are lashing out at- it's the cancer. All they know is they are dying, and for some patients they feel if what they are currently doing is not working, so therefore they must switch and try something else. That something else is often a new oncologist. Many times patients simply begin grabbing at straws and firing oncologists. But please do not get discouraged- you are very intellegent and I think you do the best you can emotionally and medically for your patients. We are human and unfortunatley we have limited control over this beast and over who wil be cured and who will not, you and I know this because we are in the field, but patients sometimes just think..."If I only go here" or

"He must not know what he is talking about..." This is one of Kubler Rosses stages called "denial." That is not to say that anyone who switched oncologists is totally wrong, but still, I see the compassion you have for this field and the patients in it, and as a nurse, I feel that you are right for this job. Keep going- don't get burned. Sometimes people go the "Sloan and Kettering" and "MD Anderson" because they are so publicized by the media, and they feel that these places hold the key to survival. Just please don't take it personal.... Your best is all you can do

Jonathan

[SDianneB]

Doc Joe, the gritching I do is about people who deserve to be gritched about. All you've done here is to be kind and thoughtful and extremely helpful, and just because you want to. You're a real human being, and based just on what you write, you have compassion and understanding along with the smarts needed to help people tackle the scourge that we're all dealing with in one way or another.

I'd like to clone you and those like you to make up for those who aren't. I believe the good ones like you are in the majority, by far, but now and then we just come across the exception, unfortunately.

I can't disagree with what the first poster said, but I think it's not just being angry at the cancer, but sometimes the sense we get that our "team" isn't being a "team." Make any sense? Some of it has to do with making the commitment to jump into treatment, and then get complacency when you're in aggressive mode! Must be something like being married at times -- one in a good mood and the other in a lousy mood!

With the realization that some oncologists actually have cancer themselves and know firsthand what they put their patients through, the big difference between oncologists and us patients is that it is our lives on the line. If you hesitate or goof up really badly, it's us who will pay the price. It's us and our supportive families. Heavy burden, huh?

Well, we put our trust with you guys, and I'm thankful there are docs around like you who deserve it, and then some.

[annjael]

oops ,,I goofed

[annjael]

Oncodoc, clueless? Not on your life!!!! It must be so hard for you, as a medical professional, to tell a patient that there is nothing furthur you, or medicine can do for them. Families will grab onto all of the hope and possibilities that are out there. I know from my experience with my husband, that those words were very hard to hear. I wish I knew about this board at that time. Our oncologist, I feel gave up on my husband, especially after reading so many posts here about trying different regimens and new drugs, my husband was offered nothing. The radiologist said there would be no scans at the end of the radiation series to see where the tumor was,,,he said" Bill, if you are still here in a year, then it worked" I am happy to say that from reading your posts, that you present yourself with compassion and honesty. People can take the honesty if it is presented in the right way, and they feel they havent been abandoned. I think you are truly an asset to your profession and to this board. We are truly blessed to have such a knowledgeble, kind person to help us understand this terrible disease. Thank you for coming here, and taking your time to be a part of this family. Peace,,,Annjael

[kimblanchard]

Well my pity party is over, just had a bad call weekend. How ironic that I come here to give you folks support and you end up picking up my spirits. I really appreciate the kind words and no more whining, I promise!

[NellW]

Hi Dr. Joe! You can come here and whine all you want, shoot, we do!

I think, like Katie said earlier that we get a real glimpse into the kind of guy you are because you come here simply because you care about your patients, and wage war on the disease you fight everyday on behalf of others.

Thanks for what you do and who you are.

Nell

[deruo]

I agree! No one here has a monopoly on pity parties!

I think it's wonderful that you've taken the time to join us here, and share information and support with others.

Hey we're here for you too!

d.

[daggiesmom]

Dear Dr.

I'm a little late with my reply but here goes - I am extremely grateful to you for coming on this board and helping all of us with your knowledge and kind ways. You are a KEEPER. Don't you dare go away, OK?

Joanie

[Connie B]

Hey Dr. Joe,

Two way streets always seem to work out much better then one ways! Your a DOCTOR, not that other guy! So, your entitled to whine.

WHINE, WHINE and WHINE anytime you want. Someone might offer cheese with that Whine, but that's okay too! (((((DR. JOE))))

And if your anything like the rest of us, we learned the hard way that we NEVER SAY NEVER! So, if it happens again, your in good hands here and good company!