MJ Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 hi everyone, i'm sorry that i've been absent for such a long time. my mom passed away peacefully on october 30, 2004. my family-me, my dad, brother and aunt-were by her side as she took her last breath. i've been so busy with everything that i haven't had a chance to even really cry, but i also think that because i had this whole year with my mom (i was her primary caretaker), we said the things that we needed to say. as she was passing, the only things that were coming out of my mouth were, "i love you," and "thank you," over and over again. i wrote and read my mom's eulogy at both her viewing and funeral. over 200 people came, even family from korea. i think that i am the most blessed person in the world to have known her not only as my mom but also as my best friend. i am so lucky to have the chance to take care of her this past year, just as she had taken care of me throughout my life. i have realized in so many ways that i'm just like her. the only thing is that as a teenager, i rebelled against that idea (who wants to be like their parents when they are a teenager?!), but now i fully embrace it. i'm so proud to be her daughter, and i know that she'll always be with me throughout everything in my life. thank you all so much for your care and advice. it has been so helpful. i'll continue to log on and see how you are all doing. i'm going to be pretty busy (again!) because i am now working at my parents' office, basically helping out my dad. he is incredibly stressed out and a bit depressed, but being by his side has helped the both of us. i think that it's good in a way because my dad and i are not very close, but now this gives us a chance to get to know each other better, just like the last year gave me the chance to get to know my mom not only as my mom but as my best friend. i wish you all a wonderful thanksgiving. please spend some time with your loved ones, telling them that you love them. it's one of the most valuable lessons that i have learned (and am trying to still learn! it's harder to love some people than others! ). thanks once again. God bless, mj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niececola Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 (((MJ))) I am so sorry for your great loss. If you ever need to talk, please let me know. Love, Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pecola Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 M.J., I'm so sorry for your enormous loss. God Bless you hold you close. Gina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 I am sorry you had to go through this, very sorry about your loss. Thank you for your wonderful understanding message. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 I am so sorry for your loss. Your words are very touching. God bless. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 MJ, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mom..It sounds like you had a beautiful relationship... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 MJ I am sorry that you lost your Mom. That was so sweet that she died with such dignity, gratitude and love. If she were my mom, I would be very proud to call her "Mother" and proud to be her daughter. Very courageous women. Thank you. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 MJ,sorry to hear of your mom's passing.This is always a hard time.Glad it was peaceful with family present.Sending prayers for strength and comfort in the coming days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 MJ, I am so very sorry for this great loss. I pray that God will hold you and your family very close during the days ahead. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leah Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 im so sorry for your loss-- your busyness will be a blessing for a little while im sure and may help you get through the holidays a little easier. im so glad you got to be by your moms side when she went home, that will be something you will always remember-- i know i will with my mom. my prayers are with you through this leah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeR Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 MJ, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I know all to well about losing a parent that is your best friend. I just lost my dad, who I adored, in September. What keeps me going is all the wonderful memories I have of him. It's sounds like you have those wonderful memories of your mom. My prayers and thoughts are with your family. DianeR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 MJ~~ Every mother in the world would shed tears to hear a child speak of them as you speak of your mother. I am so sorry for your loss....but your love and admiration and regard for your mom makes my heart soar. What a treasure for the both of you, that you had such a wonderful and loving and mutual relationship. I hope that this time spent now with your dad turns out to be positive for the both of you, as well. You are right, that your mother will always be with you...because in fact, she is a large part of who you are. I smiled about your feelings as a teenager, on being like your mom. I guess we all feel that way then...but it's surprising how often we grow up and realize that yes, in ways, we have become our mothers and it feels pretty good! Sending thoughts your way for peace and comfort in this time of loss...knowing that you already have such huge appreciation for the gain in having had the mom you did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 thank you so much for all of your responses. it's been almost 3 weeks since my mom passed away. it's still really surreal. i forgot who wrote it, but she said that she felt that her mom/dad was on a vacation. it kind of feels that way, in some aspects. i think that i'm so busy with so many things that i can't quite focus on missing her. during her last weeks, she wasn't really talking much or at all, so i just sat with her quietly, reading and writing. i think it helped me appreciate the comfort of silence (if that makes any sense), so just being by myself cooking, cleaning, working, etc. now without talking to anyone still brings me comfort in some weird way. thanks once again everyone. i wish you a wonderful thanksgiving holiday (my mom had had one round of chemo before last thanksgiving, so she was already dx...we had this huge feast with some members of our extended family, and i took pics of all of us eating...it's a wonderful memory to have now ). God bless, mj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.