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holidays doubly sad this year.


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2nd Thanksgiving and Christmas without Mom, 1st Thanksgiving and Christmas without dad too.

Sister gets chemo day before Thanksgiving so were skipping it this year.

No holiday spirit what so ever. No joy, No thanking that were all still together, because were not.

I am buying and moving into mom and dads house the week of Christmas so I can feel close to what ever is left of them. I know they are not there and I haven't fealt or drempt of either of them since they both passed.

probably skipping the holidays all together this year.

cancer robbed me of my happiness.

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Hi Shelley,

I see such a big grin in your graphic. How can you be so sad?

I can understand your feelings, of course. It is awfully hard to summon a lot of thankfulness for me this year 'round the turkey. No doubt about it. But this time is too precious. Don't waste it like this.

Cancer robbed you of your parents and it is after your sister. But it will lose that battle. And anything else it takes from you is your fault. Don't give in to it.


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I'm sorry you are so sad.....it is so hard to think about the holidays without sitting physically next to everyone we love. I'm struggling, too.

I am concentrating, this year, outside of my family a little more. Doing more charitable work and putting the love my Mom always put in to the holidays outward.....she always gave so much to me....both physically and emotionally. The very least I can do to honor her memory is spread her generosity.

May I suggest book for you? It's called "The Grief Recovery Handbook". I know you can get it through Amazon.

It's an amazing little book and has started to help me put things in perspective.....

I wish you peace in the healing process.....

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I'm feel so bad that you have to face the upcoming holidays without your mom and dad, and also the worry that I know you have for your sister. As I began to plan Thanksgiving, I told my husband that I didn't know if I could do it without my dad. He just loved Thanksgiving and just loved the food and always took a big plate of leftovers home with him.

I decided that I just had to do it though, especially for the kids in our family. We also invited another couple and their older children that are on my husband's side of the family, and I'm hoping this will help fill the void of my mom, dad and grandmother not being there, and also, now, our son since he moved to Arizona. So, instead of 8 people, we will have 13, and I'm happy about that.

I decided the only way I could do it was to have enough people here and enough activity and kids that we (my little family now) could focus on all of that rather than the 4 empty chairs.

If you lived closer, I would invite you to our house, and if you want to make the trip to Indiana, you are most definitely invited. I cook a mighty fine turkey and more extra food than we ever need, so you would be more than welcome.

One thing that is taught in our church is to sit down with a piece of paper and write down every little thing you can think of to be thankful for - everything, including people, family, friends, health and everything else including food to eat and having warm clothes to wear this winter. Making a list of everything you DO have in your life to be thankful for should help a little with the magnitude of what you have lost.

Sending you all my love and compassion, plus prayers for a happy holiday season!



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Maybe for the holidays you need to get or up your prescription in anti-depressants. Maybe you are not in the holiday spirit, but to say that you have been robbed of ALL happiness and your family is NOT together is pure and simple bullsh*t. Your parents ARE together, your mother is not celebrating alone this year. You have your sister, your husband, what is left of your family. You have friends, you have LIFE. Don't waste it! You should know how very dear it is, pull yourself off the pity pot (don't forget to flush) and try to work yourself into a new normal.

There is no way that your parents would want you to mope around for the rest of YOUR life. Your parents died early, but Shelly, children are supposed to bury their parents at some time, it's when children are buried by their parents that the laws of nature are upside down.

Please, check with your doctor about medication. Try counseling, spend time with your sister and her family. Sharing the sadness divides the hurt, ya know? Share some happy memories, share some food and love and work on going on with life, Shelly.

I can understand the feeling of loss, but I can also see that you are sinking too deep into it, Shelly. Reach out for some help in your real world, we can support you in the virtual world but we can't really help you physically.

Celebrate what you have, cherish the memories of what you don't. Start a new tradition, either donating to a soup kitchen in their memory, making ornaments for your tree in their honor...SOMETHING that you can do every year.

I am concerned for your emotional welfare, Shelly. Please seek help.



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I am soooo sorry :( I think it is wonderful however that you are buying the house. I know I am in the minority opinion, but I was telling my mother in law last week that I personally don't like the holidays anymore b/c they do nothing but depress a certain sector of the population, whether it be because of illness, loss, divorce, just being alone, etc.

Hang in there and know what we are all thinking of you!

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I have tried more than once to respond to your post and some of the responses you have gotten.

All I want to say is this. I admire you for surviving, even if it is not a pretty picture right now. I admire you for getting up everyday.

Be true to yourself. Do take care of yourself.

You and Katie have been in my thoughts and prayers for a long time now. Hang on to life and make the best of it that you can. You don't have to live up to someone elses measurement of "happiness". You only have to live up to your hearts standard of life. I think you know what you need to do to make what you feel your heartsong. Take the time to listen to yourself, to your heart.

I am glad you are able to buy your folks old home. Don't worry about Thanksgiving and Christmas, because they truely are just another day. It is between you and God what you believe you need to do to survive.

Take care.

Praying for us all.

Much love hon,


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