jodi page Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 the last few months have been hard for me. i have been struggling with feelings of loneliness and not being able to connect with others. i am almost 30 and had my left lung removed in the year 2000. i lost contact with alot of friend while going through treatment. it is harder for me now to make friends. my limitations and other health factors make it hard to do everything i want and use to do. i am single and am not in a relationship and haven't been sense my cancer. i need help from those who have gone through this. any thoughts or suggestions are welcome. thank you, jodi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresca Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 You are not alone my friend. There are many of us who can talk to you anytime you want. I pray you will find the strength to live like you did before the cancer. I will continue to pray for you to not feel so alone. Please pm me anytime you would like, and I will talk with you. Rana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Are you in a church? I bet there are young single groups that would love you to pieces. Hold your head up and see the blue sky, smell the air after it has rained. If you continue to feel this way you may need to see the Dr for some meds. They help out at times when we can't help ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David P Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Hey Jodi. I will begin by apologizing for having missed your original introduction post back in Feb. One of the things I look forward to on this site is talking with other one lungers - so I can't figure out how you have eluded me for so long. Did they take out your entire diaphram? Or can they just remove part of it? Breathing would be a lot tougher without one, I would imagine. You are one lucky person, Jodi; you are actually part of Connie's group? WOW!! I've been trying to figure out how I'm going to get down there to Minneapolis to meet the Beautiful Ms. B.. I think I might have to ride my bike down next summer. Anyway, I don't know if you ever had the chance to read my story in the old Inspiration forum, but I went 26 years with no support after my left pneumonectomy - didn't think I needed any - had no computers back then - was too busy getting on with life I suppose.( but I'd hate to think the reason I never met any LC survivors was because there weren't any?) I had some sort of carcinoma; a carcinoid polyp, which was a 2 to 3 cm tumor. It's too bad about your asthma. Even with a diaphram it would make it harder to breath. But at least you are still here to breath. It sounds like there's not too many of the meso types out there. If yours is not an exercise induced asthma, then perhaps some brisk, outdoor walking could get you back on the road to "normality". Not too brisk, mind you. At least to start. You don't want to overdue it, but you do want to eventually exercise your right lung to take on more capacity so it becomes easier to breath in every day situations without getting winded. I was tested last year for lung capacity and I have 64% of what a normal, two lunged man my size has. I chose biking, mainly because it was low impact, and there was always the F.A.F. (Forced Air Factor) - it was easier to breath while working out on the bike because air was being forced into my lung during heavy breathing ( which was ALL the time, especially going up the hill) I have been cross country mountain bike racing for the past four years now, against riders with two lungs, and I've only placed last once - I crashed AND had a flat tire. Right now, I'm training hard because I just found out I have a chance to qualify to race in the World Solo Championships - a 24hr mountain bike race to see who can ride the most times around an eight mile course in 24hrs. The World Champ in my category (45 to 49yrs) only rode 12 laps last year. I know I can ride at least that many, if not more. So I've got to give it a try. Jodi, three years survival is a great accomplishment. But now you have to stop just being a survivor, and get out there and DO SOMETHING that you will be able to feel a great pride in yourself because you never thought you were ever going to be there again. Stay in touch; e mail me if you have anything to talk about. P. S. - when you lean to the left, can you come up with the longest belch any of your friends have ever heard? Take care Jodi, David P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gina D. Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Hey Jodi! No, you are not alone, really. I know how deeply you would like to have the special support of a special person during this time tho. And I know about the angst of wanting/debating about finding a new romance. Do you do it? Is it fair to seek another when you have doubts about your own existance/abilities? Is it fair to impose that on them? Tough one. I have realized that this situation is no different than a "normal" single persons. If it happens, it happens. I will not deny it if it does. My special friend of 20 years high tailed it as far away as he could get when I was DX'ed. Pretty low and unexpected, and it cut deeper than the surgeons knife at the time. But you know what? I am grateful..I don't have to worry about him or how this is effecting him, his feelings or needs etc, and I can now concentrate on ME and the task at hand. It's a legal selfishness we all need to assert at this time. Do it and don't feel any guilt. I am sure I am not the only one here that has had this happen either. Some life long friends have difficulty in understanding what is happening to you, and they withdraw due to the unjustified assumption that you are going to die. That hurts, but you have to reach out and educate them. If they don't/won't learn..leave them be. You don't need them anyway. Folks you thought of as casual aquaintences or just buddies come to your side and never leave.. it's hard to tell how it effects others. I had a buddy and former boss and his wife and family turn into the most special friends in my life over this. He came RUNNING from 1000 miles on an instants notice when he learned my SO would not be there for me. He gave up a whole month of his life to take care of me, with his wifes blessings, and another month of having me live in thier house and invade thier family life. We called him my "rental husband". They asked NOTHING in return, they just did it because it was the right thing to do. I could have never guessed that would be the scene a week earlier. It is amazing how this brings out the good and bad in folks. I was very uncomfortable at this idea at first, but I had no choice, I needed the help. DON'T deny it, even if it seems odd. You have just made a new and special relationship if you do. Stronger and better than past ones. Your life has indeed changed and will never be like it was, no matter how cured you are or how good you feel. That is just part of this. You have to go wth the flow. When people ask how this effects me, I tell them that every aspect of my life has changed, can't say for the better, but I am going to make it that way. And you will too. It's that positive strength that will bring someone else along that is even more special than the last one, becuase they will have a special thing in them that will allow them to deal with what you have on your plate, and gladly too. You have many friends here you haven't met yet. Do not be afraid to PM anyone when you need to! Gina D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 HI JODI, ONE IS NEVER ALONE UNLESS ONE WANTS TO BE. THERE ARE MANY OF US ON THIS BOARD WHO SOMETIMES FEEL ALONE BECAUSE OF THE ILLNESS OR THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF A CAREGIVER. ALWAYS LOOK TO GOD WHEN YOU FEEL DOWN AND HE WILL LEAD YOU TO HELP YOURSELF TO FIND THE WAY TO HAPPINESS. YOU CAN ALSO COME ON BOARD AND WE WILL TALK WITH YOU. CHURCH GROUPS ARE A GOOD WAY TO STAY BUSY AND TO FIND NEW FRIENDS. HOBBIES CAN HELP. LIBRARIES HAVE READING GROUPS THAT MEET WEEKLY, BI-WEEKLY, MONTHLY. MY SISTER-IN-LAW JUST JOINED A READING CLUB AT HER LOCAL LIBRARY AND HAS MET TWO VERY NICE LADIES WHO SHE NOW GOES TO LUNCH AND SHOPPING WITH. JUST LOOK AROUND, THINK OF WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO AND GO FOR IT GIRL......LIFE IS TO SHORT TO STAY HOME AND FEEL THE WAY YOU ARE FEELING. GOD BLESS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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