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Finally..Home from the Hospital


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Hi all...

I brought Mom home yesterday from the hospital, hopefully she wont have to go back this weekend as she has the last 3 weekends. Her back is feeling much better so I guess the Kyphoplasty surgery did work. She is still having the pain in the front sternum area though. We had 5 different doctors tell us nothing is there, nothing on scans,xrays, etc..and we have been given twice as many ideas on what iy could be, ranging from arthritus to being "in her head".

The pulmonologist i think had the best sounding idea in that at the end of the sternum are some sort of receptors and they have gotten inflammed, and time will heal them. She has pretty much been in constant pain for 5 weeks now, and that alone can drain your energy, but add to it not getting out of bed in over 10 days, not eating in 10 days, and of course having no immune system or energy from the last chemo treatment. So I am praying taht a few good days of recouperating and slowing building herself back up will do the trick.

She did have to come home on oxygen, which puts her in a constant state of panic. She just panics at the thought of not having it, I guess being short of breath wil do that. Doctors said here to it will take a bit for her lungs to recover from her doing nothing for so long. They have not had to work as hard to just lay around. and then the anesthesia from the surgery plays a big part too, they say it could take a few weeks for the lungs to adjust after that.

The worst thing though that I see is her state of mind and depression. I realize she is tired and worn out, but she is not the person I have known all my life. She just lays there staring out into space. Only speaking when spoken too, and nothing i can do will make her laugh. I dont want to get ugly with her, but she has to snap out of this. Her worrying about not getting to go nack to work is not going to change anything. I kow there are many finacial worries on her, but again I have a brother more than willing to help out that way, she is just to proud i guess. I know that it is so very hard for me to be around her right now. I am not going to go to her house and sit with her staring off into space, and I am afraid I am going to say something and hurt her feelings, maybe thats what she needs I dont know. Just a smile or 2 would make me happy.

Mom does take 20mg of paxil everyday and has since the day of dx. She has always said she didnt need them, but I made her take them anyway as I have had major depression a few times and know what it can do to a person. Maybe a stronger dose or even a different med would help. It is just so hard to see her like this, heck she never even got to be happy about being cancer free and welcoming NED into her life, when all this started.

Thank you everyone for all your prayers and kind words you have shown me and my Mom, words cannot express how that makes me feel. And I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, as I know I have alot to be thankful for this year. We will have just 4 of us together this year. my fiance, daughter, and myself, then we will go over and take mom some dressing(thats all she has wanted to eat for 3 weeks now). I think I am kinda glad I am not having the normal houseful and cooking for days and days, not sure I could pull that off this year. Problem is I have no idea how to cook Thanksgivng dinner for 3-4 people, me buying a 21 pound turkey shows that.lol...oh well lots of left over for turkey lurkey dishes.

God Bless


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Kim, not sure how long your Mom has been like this, but being new to cance myself I know we all deal with things in different ways. I know when I was first dx I couldnt hear anything or see anything around me my mind was whirling with the future, my kids, the mortgage, my job and yes deep depression set in, but I was able to snap out of it just visiting this site, I no longer felt alone and realized others with this nasty disease were taking what they were dealt and going on with their lives so I decided to do the same. I still have my fears and worries but they no longer over whelm me. If you could get your mom to read some of the post in here maybe it will help her too. In my prayers....

NSCLC 2.5cm nodule right upper lobe


surgery 9-27-04 right upper lobectomy

ex smoker age 43

lc had not traveled to lymph system

no further treatment

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I think your mom will be ok - she probably just needs more time. Her poor body has just been through the most grueling, difficult treatment (it looks like 5 mos. of treatment in your profile) that a body can handle. I'm sure she is just totally drained, both physically and mentally.

I would suggest that you don't try to snap her out of it because I don't think that will help - that only happens in the movies. LOL! I would just go over and be as normal as possible. Do what you can do around the house, whistle and sing, watch TV and laugh if it's a funny show, etc. Give her hugs and love, rub her feet, offer her food (but just say ok if she says no thank you - and follow it with a kiss on her forehead, a smile and an "I love you, Mom.").

Just let her deal with this in her own way. I'm afraid that trying to force her to come around would be adverse to getting her to where she needs to be.

Actually only you can know how best to deal with your own mom - not me or anybody else. This is just my two cents.

Best of luck to you, and my prayers are with you and your mom.

Love to you,


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