kimblanchard Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 Oh, well, here I am again. Middle of the night worries. Feeling helpless at times. Hubby is really really not feeling well and rather suddenly I think. He has done so well for so long, every month a bit of improvement this way or that, we just aren't used to bad news so much right now. Just in a few days time - back to sleeping 10-12 hours a day, lost interest in food, swelling, discomfort, coughing. Pulse racing sometimes. No more walks together through the dry leaves. Just in a few days. I never know if it is something real or something exaggerated in my mind. But I think it is real. He is supposed to have cataract surgery on Monday. What to do, go for it, don't go for it, I can't even call them and cancel as the office is closed today. Don't know what to do. Going to call the onc office today and see what they say. See if maybe we can come today instead of 10 days from now. Worries. Now I am worried the onc office might be closed today, too. Well, only 4 or 5 more hours and I will know. Iressa for 6 weeks. I think maybe the Iressa is not working. I don't want to over-react - I don't want to worry the family - I just don't know what to do sometimes. Wait 4 more hours and call the doctor. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted November 26, 2004 Author Share Posted November 26, 2004 I have no advice as to whether anything is working, but I at least wanted to tell you that I understand where you are. For so many months, everything was so dramatic. When Becky was improving a little bit, the sun was shining and the whole world was beautiful. And when she would decline a little bit, the whole world was ending. Maintaining any kind of balance is so hard. I hope right with you that you can get in today. But to borrow Don's advice, don't go borrowing trouble. I know just the cold weather made it tougher on Becky last year. She didn't get around as well or breathe as easily, and she perked back up with the weather warming. I hope it is as simple as that for y'all. So there are enough innocent reasons for him declining a little that you don't need to imagine monsters. You will know for sure soon enough, so try to enjoy this day. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 Margaret I'm sorry to hear you sounding so despondent - the middle of the night can do that to you! Listen to Curtis - I am sure there are lots of other things that might be causing the changes you describe. Unfortunately, we are so sensitised to cancer now that we attribute every little symptom to the disease. I hope that you are able to see the Oncologist quickly and that he is able to allay your fears and you will breathe easier once again. Please keep us posted. Will be thinking of you down here in Australia. When you are up worrying in the middle of the night, it is the middle of the day here, so you are not up alone!! All the best Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patut Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 Just the kind of thing I am dreading may happen to my hubby one day, but on the other hand this may not be cancer related. It is such a roller coaster! Know that you are not alone here, and I wish you both the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 Hang in there, Margaret. My prayers are with you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 Margaret, hoping and praying that everything will be ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted November 26, 2004 Author Share Posted November 26, 2004 Well, maybe it was a middle of the night thing, or like Curtis said, everything is such a big deal, bad days so bad, good days so good. He got up today and said he feels better and he is not going to the doctor. Wait and see. And he is sitting there a little bit leaning to the side and acting regular. He seems about the same to me but guess we will wait and see. That's why the medical big business corporation types made ERs, right? But hopefully it is just a bad spell. Anything life threatening, I will hog tie him and drag him to the car. I am sure the neighbors will help me if needed. Thanks everyone, I think of you all so much, too. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 I'm thinking good and hopeful thoughts for you--that this is just a few days of a hiccup and that your husband will be back in top form very soon. Hog-tie him, huh??? I shoulda guessed by the screen name that you are a scrappy one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 Hi Margaret, I'm very glad to hear that hubby is feeling better today. I've had those worrisome nights, too. If anything is the least bit different, I overreact (at least privately). In the last two weeks, my husband had a headache (he said was sinus). That was his first headache since diagnosis. I tried not to put too much into it, but mistakenly said, "Is it on that same side?" He hit the roof and said, "I SAID IT'S SINUSES!!" I quietly said, "ok.......sorry!" LOL! He also had a very frightening dizzy spell about 10 days ago after moving some heavy furniture. Again, I was upset for about a week, but there hasn't been a repeat incident, so I think it was just the exertion. I think (well, I know) that incident kind of worried him, too! Before diagnosis, he could have moved furniture all day and never had a problem. It sounds like your hubby had a little more reason for you to be worried than I did, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in the famous "Worry Department!" LOL! Again, I'm so glad he's feeling better! Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted November 28, 2004 Share Posted November 28, 2004 Margaret. I just want you to know that I have been through plenty of my lonely all of those middle of the night conversations ...the what to do's become endless. I suppose you get to be up all night worrying while he is sleeping and mending. And I just want to tell you that I LOVE that picture that is under your name. Is that on your property? It looks so peaceful from the outside... Hang in there. Maybe we live close enough that I could bring the rope? Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted November 29, 2004 Author Share Posted November 29, 2004 Yup, that is our house. Maybe you could bring the rope Cindy, you aren't that far away. ANYWAY - today, Sunday, we did go to the ER and Jim is in the hospital with pneumonia and possibly fluid on the lungs. He sure looked a lot better by tonight. Cross fingers. He and I will probably be a little scarce around the board for a few days. Thank you friends, Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 Margaret, All best wishes are with you and Jim. Hate to hear it but am glad that he is in the hospital getting the help he needs right now. I'm sure he will be back on his feet in no time.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 Margaret, just saw this, and I have to tell you, boy oh boy can I relate! I am so glad you took him to the ER. I have taken Dave to the ER numerous times and not once have I regreted it. That pneumonia explains alot, surely once that is cleared up you'll have less to worry about, he will feel and act so much better. Please keep us posted. I am in solidarity with you with the worrying thing. and always remember the ER when you're not sure. Dave and I figure it's the best thing to do, with lung cancer you'll need an x-ray so why fiddle around with the oncologist or other doctors, just go straight to where the equipment is! also, I LOVE your house! Love it love it love it! God Bless, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 Margaret- Just want to say I'm so sorry for the hellacious up and down ride that this rotten disease puts us through. Prayers for better days ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 So sorry to hear about your husbands pneumonia, but soooo glad you went to the ER... Hopefully he will be up and about and feeling good soon!! I agree with the others... your house looks like a little slice of heaven... Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted December 18, 2004 Share Posted December 18, 2004 Oh Heather, My heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you are going through. Many is the time I was doing just what you were doing in the early hours. You feel so helpless when everyone else is sleeping don't you. Those hours are so looooong too somehow. I do hope things will change for the better for your husband. Sending prayers and positive thoughts, Lots of love, Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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