kim Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 Hi everyone, I have been having these sudden, I don't know what to can them, feelings about what if I'm the next one in the family to get this sh**! Sometimes I even begin to shake! I have never smoked in my life,(as if that matters!), but I have been exposed for at least half of it. I know I can't live my life worrying about this, but sometimes it's stronger than me, and then I start thinking about my mom and it snow balls from there. If insurance would pay for it, I would go and get a total body MRI just for the peace of mind! I think my husband is right, it's time for drugs! I'm not going crazy or anything, but I think I need something to take the edge off my emotions. For crying out loud, I started balling like a baby in the car listening to Clay Aiken sing Mary Did You Know?! My poor kids and husband have been feeling my rath a lot lately too. I can't seem to say much without snapping at them, and then I feel so bad about it I want to start crying again. The only time I'm okay is at work, where I can put all my energy into my patients, and not into worrying about me and my disfunctional self! I know that the holidays have a lot to do with my feelings, but damn it, I'm suppost to be happy, and excited about the season. Mom would have wanted us to be happy! It all probably boils down to the fact that I miss her so much! See! I can't even hold back the tears long enough to type one sentence!! I feel like everyone in my family feels like I'm the one who keeps it all together for everyone else. Does that make any sense? Oh, I'll stop blabbering now! I just needed to vent, I guess. Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. I'll be up to my neck in keeping the boys out of stuff !!! God Bless, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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