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New to lung cancer and very afraid


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I am the sister of a stage 3 cancer victim. The victim is my dear brother. His diagnosis was very sudden and his prognosis is not good, depending on his PET tomorrow. I would just like to hear of others who might be in my spot. Support and feedback is very needed. thank you.


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Welcome Debbie,

We are glad you have joined us here. None of us want to be here , but we are thankful to have one another. There are people here in all different stages of lung cancer that are doing quite well. There are some differences that you may want to know first. There's non small cell lung cancer and small cell lung cancer. There are differences in treatment and responses of both. You will also see a designated forum for each here. The more information you have about his diagnosis, the better the members here will be able to help you. For now, take it one day at a time and know that this site is wonderful for information and support. I'm sure you will soon know that you have joined a very , warm and caring group of people.

Hugs to you


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Hi Debbie.

Just what Sue said....

Boy, do I know that fear...

Lung cancer is really scary, but it can be survived! This is the start of a journey for you and your brother. I am so glad that you are reaching out for help and you will get a whole lot of attention and support here, that is for sure.

For me, the fear comes and goes in waves. I hope that you have the skills readily available to deal with that part.

All the best to you and your family.

Cindi o'h

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First thing you need to do is change your thinking. Do NOT call your brother a cancer "victim". He is a cancer WARRIOR. "Victim" claims defeat and this is one fight you never want to give up before it has even begun.

Many people here are facing grim statistics - and beating them. Take some time to digest the news and accept it. This is something you will have to work through mentally. THEN, take off the gloves, roll up your sleeves, and join in the battle!

Welcome to the family no one wants to join. The cancer journey sucks, but the traveling companions are top notch!


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Hi Debbie,

Welcome to the "family". You'll be learning alot over the next few days, weeks and months. Some of it will be very reassuring and some of what you learn will be very disturbing and hard to accept. Take your time digesting everything and please remember that no two people are the same and everyone responds and reacts differently to treatment. Please come back and let us know the results of your brother's PET and how we can help. The support and love here is overwhelming.


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First thing you need to do is change your thinking. Do NOT call your brother a cancer "victim". He is a cancer WARRIOR. "Victim" claims defeat and this is one fight you never want to give up before it has even begun.

(Says the ever shy Becky! :P )

Ditto that, and just hang in here and you'll read words from some of the most wonderful people you'll ever come in contact with who have "been there, done that."

Best wishes,


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I would like to add to the "Welcomes" and I agree wholeheartedly with what has already been said.

This isn't any easy battle, by any means, but it IS one that can be fought and won. Your brother will need a support network that he can rely on, not only for positivity, but for helping him digest what is going on -- sometimes in a doctors appointment, two sets of ears are better than one (we hear what we want to hear at times.....). Take some time to learn this new cancer "lingo" and get him to an oncologist specializing in lung cancer, if you can.

It sounds as though you will be a wonderful advocate for your brother -- come here often, it is a wonderful place for information and support!


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Welcome, Welcome, and again, Welcome, Debbie.

Your brother is not a victim, but a survivor, as he is alive!!

Many of us have survived the diagnosis of lung cancer.

Some of us may even have beaten it completely.

Find an oncologist with a positive outlook, who you connect with,

ask questions, and write down the answers.

It's a good idea for someone to go with your brother to write down questions and answers.

It never hurts to get a second opinion.

There are radiation oncologists, surgeons, and oncologists who primarily are involved with chemotherapy. Sometimes a pulmonary doctor gets involved.

Stage III depends on a lot of things == which type of cancer is it, and where is it? are really important starting points.

There is a lot of information on this site, and a lot of support from the wonderful people here. We've walked in those shoes, as patient, survivor, caregiver, spouse, sibling, parent, child...... we even have an oncologist and a few nurses.

We can help you. Keep us informed, and know that we care.


Prayers always,


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Welcome again Debbie,

Just want to confirm all the above: you will find a terrific amount of support, information and a place you can ALWAYS come to. It sounds like you will be a strong advocate for your brother and an encouraging medical team is crucial. If you don't have one now, please seek a second opinion. Everyone here has been on this bumpy road and will provide alot of direction.

Wishing you strength, a positive attitude and love,


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Debbie, Welcome to our support family.There are many people here who were given a bad prognosis.(myself included) You will be amazed at the number of survivors here that are fighting and making a mockery of the statistics and prognosis's (sp).Our best wishes to you and your brother and please keep us informed.

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Hey Debbie,

Hang into this site it is by bar the best out here, you will get a lot of information and support here. You are at the worst time in this ordeal, for lack of better phrasing it gets easier to deal with from here on out..

Like Beth said “no two people are the same and everyone responds and reacts differently to treatment“ (Everyone responds differently to suggestions has well.) ”Take your time digesting everything”

Not knowing your brother no one can be specific in how to approach him. I will say the burden is all a hard on you.

If you need questions answered, and you will, ask . Knowledge is helpful in control and we all need a little on that.

Most folks here will echo that they never get enough info from the Doctors, start getting your reports, from the doctor, test and procedures. It makes decision making for future stuff far easier.

The one single thing I learned and had the greatest importance for me is what Frank said, “You will be amazed at the number of survivors here that are fighting and making a mockery of the statistics and prognosis's”. The reality of what is happening is not what the mainstream puts out.


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I'm new as well. My mother was just diagnosed with what may be Stage 2 or Stage 4 lung cancer as well. We'll know which way that swings after her PET scan next week.

I sure can understand your fears... It's so overwhelming to be at the beginning of it. I imagine that it will be overwhelming all throughout in one way or another, but I'm so grateful to have stumbled onto this site! Here I have found one of the essential tools--Hope!!!

I hope that your brother and my mother will both be two that will kick this stinking, rotten diseases butt and take names! :)


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Debbie -

Welcome and sorry about your brother

Ditto to what everyone else has said! :)

I am also Stage 3, take a look at my bio below, maybe it will help answer some questions. One thing I learned, asside from everyone here is awesome is that it is important to have the right doctor! I learned the hard way. I now have a pro-active Doc and it makes all the difference in the world in the patients attitude! :D

If there are any questions I can answer for you, feel free to PM me! I don't mind sharing my experience with all this.

Oh yeah, it is scary as hell! Believe me, it's been almost 9mths and I am finally starting to "accept" this (is that the right word?). It's taken almost everyone here to convince me that I (it) will be OK and they have taught me how to "breath" through things (calm down take a deep breath and concentrate on the problem at hand).

Keep us posted on your brother and good luck!

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Welcome Debbie,

I am sorry you had to seek us out ... but VERY glad that you found us. There is a TON of wonderful folks here with just about ever type and stage of this disease you can think of. No matter what the next few months bring for you and your brother someone here will probably have experienced the very same thing.

A couple of things. One is to remember that, from the moment you found this site, no matter what happens you (and your brother) don't have to do any of this alone! Ya know all the things "I" can't handle? Well, "WE" can!

The other thing is that I believe in the bottom of my heart that ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING. As you can see from my sig I was dxd with Stage 3, inoperable cancer. I wasn't given a whole lot of time. Yet here it is, over a year later, and I'm still around causing hate and discontent amongst the masses! :) And that's without ANY treatment (except for palative (treating the pain and discomfort and such) at all!!! I firmly believe it's been my attitude that has made that difference. And remember, unlike the weather, attitude is a CHOICE! One we can make every day.

So no more of that "victim" stuff. Your brother, from the moment of his diagnoses, is a cancer SURVIVOR. As I am and as so many others here are.

Yes, it's a scary time. Yes, the road ahead can be pretty bumpy in spots. But thousands of folks have walked that road ahead of you and your brother and you can also.

Praying for nothing but good news from here on out for the both of you.


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