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Frank Lamb

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A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.

The farmer said, "That's once."

A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice."

After a little while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.

His brand new bride scolded him, "That was an awful thing to do!"

The farmer said, "That's once."

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...upon which the sweet young bride waited for bedtime.

After the farmer's two minutes of fame, he was snoring like a buzz saw. The young miss grabbed a hammer and nails and nailed the sheets and blankets to the bedframe. She then re-entered the bedchamber with the leg from a yet-to-be-completed kitchen table and beats the man stating, "...and here's TWICE...wanna see if you make through the third time?"

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