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Quotes from my refrigerator...


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Okay, not ALL of these are on my refrigerator, but they're jotted down in all kinds of places and I find something new when I need it, it seems...

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. Charles Schulz

There is more to life than increasing its speed. Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

Stop crime at its source! Support Planned Parent Hood. RB

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie (1891-1976), who was married to one

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. Mark Twain (1835-1910)

A closed mouth gathers no feet. Unknown

I'm in a phone booth at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk. Unknown

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know. Mark Twain (1835-1910)

It is easier to stay out than get out. Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. Anthony Burgess

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. Howard Ruff

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller

After all is said and done, more is said than done. Unknown

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel. Arabian proverb

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. Mae West (1892-1980)

Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world. Richard Armour

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision. Blake Clark

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. Fletcher Knebel

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money. J.P. Donleavy

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Phyllis Diller

Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours." Robert Byrne

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers (1879-1935)

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. Quentin Crisp

People who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do. Unknown

There is no gravity. Earth sucks. Graffito

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. Thomas Jones

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done. Unknown

Remember that a kick in the *ss is a step forward. Unknown

Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal. Steve Rubenstein

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. Timothy Leary

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. Sylvia (Nicole Hollander)

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. Will Rogers (1879-1935)

Never mistake motion for action. Ernest Hemingway (1889-1961)

Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person. Unknown

Flies spread disease--keep yours zipped. Unknown

If you want a place in the sun, prepare to put up with a few blisters. Abigail VanBuren

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. General Joseph "Vinegar Bend" Stilwell (1883-1946)

Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles. Roseanne

Success isn't permanent, and failure isn't fatal. Mike Ditka

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. Unknown

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. Mae West (1892-1980)

You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. Michael Pritchard

A clear conscience is often the sign of a bad memory. Unknown

Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed. Michael Pritchard

Let a smile be your umbrella, because you're going to get soaked anyway. Unknown

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. Unknown

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