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I miss you mom


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And Christmas will come… 2004

I miss you mom. It’s hard. I see dad and he is so lost without you. I know he misses you with every bit of his being. It is so evident. He is so strong though. We should all know that now. To do what he has done and go on with what he has. I love him. He is the greatest confidant I have. I can talk to him about anything, just about. Just about. You two are about as close to the perfect parents there could have been. I could not ask for better, I would never have. You lived your life just fine, not to sturdy not to lax. I wish, I hope my kids get that, if they get nothing else from you and papa, I hope they get that. We will be ok. I will take care of him. He is lost without you, I guess I said that. You knew he would be. I wish I hadn’t let you go without telling you things but you know mom, we said a lot without saying anything at all. You and me, we did. I miss you. I cant begin to tell you how much. 9 months. It wasn’t fair. I want to go back and do it all again. I want to have a second chance to do better with living while you are dying. I guess I would have done better with what I know. Why didn’t they tell me you would suffer? Why didn’t they tell us to not lift you and move you. I am so angry about that I cant get over that. It should never have happened that way. I would Never let it happen that way. Mom, I am so sorry.

“Beloved Wife” Natilie Merchant - The song, if you listen to the song, it is about you and dad. I used to say way before you got cancer “that is about mom and dad because she will die before he does, I just know it” then you were gone….

I miss you mom and Christmas will come :( Gayle 

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What a beautiful letter to your mom, Gayle. I miss my mom and dad, too. It can be tough during the holidays. I try to stay focused on the meaning of Christmas, the spirit of the season, and sharing with others. It helps a lot!

I've always loved the time from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day, and I know that Mom and Dad would expect me to continue to celebrate this season with joy, so that's what I'm going to do.

Sending peace and joy your way!



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