Ann Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 December 15th will mark the two year date of losing my beloved Dennis. The pain is just as fresh as it was two years ago. I am trying to go forward with my life and keep busy but there are times that seems almost an impossibility. I'm at that point of reliving every day...every hour that preceded his passing. Pray for me that I will somehow make it through these next few days!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 As you know Ann I just went through the same thing less than two weeks ago. As you say it hasn't gotten any easier and it does seem like yesterday. We just have to face the facts. Our lives were changed forever and nothing will ever change that. Now all we can do is try to go on the best that we can. It will never be easy but what choice do we have? Unfurtunately I spent those days alone. I had no one to turn to nor share with. I doubt that it would have really made any differenc. Even in a room full of people I still feel alone. It is just so hard when you have no one to share the simple intimate things, when all you have are memories and those memories are scared by those last days and the and feeling of helplessness. I want you to know that I will be thinking of you. Like so many here we are sisters in a club that we would trade the last two years not to have to belong to. Bless you my friend and give you the courage to face the coming days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 I am sorry for you both and you are in my prayers, as are we all. I am sure this time is only made worse by the holidays in such proximity as well. I wish I had some magic words, but I do not. Good luck. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirrell Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 embrace the tears and move on from there. thinking of you both mirrell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Ann, I am so sorry for your pain...I know my mom is having a hard time as well..Everyone always asks how she is doing and I think they expect me to say good, and are uncomfortable when I say not very good... When you have a true love and soulmate taken from you, I dont think your heart will ever mend..It seems like my mom is just trying to get by, sort of going through the motions of life but not really living it and it sounds like you're that way too... You'll get through these next days because you know you have to and I'll be thinking and praying for you to find the strength to do so...You know Dennis wouldnt want all the sadness, let that be your strength to get through it....XO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Ann, It is 14 months for me, and I am still at the same level of pain, nothing shows, but all is inside. Hoping you will get through the next weeks safely. xoxo J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kim Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Ann, I pray that each passing day gets easier, but that the memories are there forever, for without memories those wonderful days would never have existed. God Bless, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyb Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Ann, I have been thinking about you cause I knew this day was coming. You will make it through. I am not saying it will be easy, but you will make it through. Just take it one day at a time. I know on special days it is so hard to understand why they had to die, but they did. You cry your tears, you remember, and you go on. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Much love, Shirleyb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Dear Ann, My heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel. I felt totally alone today, and missed my husband so terribly. I miss being able to share things with him as you do with your husband. I know the pain of my Mom's death was healed with time, but then I was a child when she died. I wonder if the pain of losing one's partner will ever go away. I am trying very hard not to feel cheated, do you feel that way? I will be keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you comfort. Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted December 20, 2004 Author Share Posted December 20, 2004 Thanks for all of your kind words, thoughts and prayers. The past week was absolutely terrible for me. On the 15th, I kept feeling as if I was just going to smother. There was such a "weight" on my chest and such a feeling of emptiness and lonliness. I must have replayed every single minute of that day over and over in my mind...at least a hundred times. I could "really" feel the same feeling I had when I realized Dennis was gone. I remembered the feeling I had when I realized, a few days after his death, that I would never see him again, in this life. I remembered how I yearned for those big strong arms to hold me and that sweet voice to assure me that everything was going to be alright, as he had done so many times during our 26 years together. I still don't understand why Dennis is gone. I still do not know what God's purpose was in taking him but I still wait to see that purpose unfold. On every Christmas morning, just before opening gifts, I always said a prayer, thanking God for our family and praying that we would always be together at Christmas time and asked God to keep us safe until the next Christmas. When I saif that prayer in 2001, I had not even the foggiest idea that Dennis would not be with us for Christmas 2002. God, this all hurts so bad. I am trying to move on with my life but life will never be the same. I feel so lost and alone, even in a crowd. I pray for all of my dear friends here that are missing their loved ones at Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Dear Ann, Your pain has jumped through cyberspace and, literally, crushed my heart. I'm just so very, very sorry. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haylee_38 Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Ann, I am so sorry for your pain. My heart goes out to you. Haylee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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