Jump to content

Two Years and It Seems Like Yesterday


Ann

Recommended Posts

December 15th will mark the two year date of losing my beloved Dennis. The pain is just as fresh as it was two years ago. I am trying to go forward with my life and keep busy but there are times that seems almost an impossibility. I'm at that point of reliving every day...every hour that preceded his passing. Pray for me that I will somehow make it through these next few days!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As you know Ann I just went through the same thing less than two weeks ago. As you say it hasn't gotten any easier and it does seem like yesterday. We just have to face the facts. Our lives were changed forever and nothing will ever change that. Now all we can do is try to go on the best that we can. It will never be easy but what choice do we have? Unfurtunately I spent those days alone. I had no one to turn to nor share with. I doubt that it would have really made any differenc. Even in a room full of people I still feel alone. It is just so hard when you have no one to share the simple intimate things, when all you have are memories and those memories are scared by those last days and the and feeling of helplessness.

I want you to know that I will be thinking of you. Like so many here we are sisters in a club that we would trade the last two years not to have to belong to. Bless you my friend and give you the courage to face the coming days.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ann,

I am so sorry for your pain...I know my mom is having a hard time as well..Everyone always asks how she is doing and I think they expect me to say good, and are uncomfortable when I say not very good...

When you have a true love and soulmate taken from you, I dont think your heart will ever mend..It seems like my mom is just trying to get by, sort of going through the motions of life but not really living it and it sounds like you're that way too...

You'll get through these next days because you know you have to and I'll be thinking and praying for you to find the strength to do so...You know Dennis wouldnt want all the sadness, let that be your strength to get through it....XO

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My mom has a very hard time still too...I think it will always be that way...and like Jackie says..."nothing shows"--you learn to put on a good face, and like Cathy said..."going thru the motions" of living and interacting with people because there's no other choice other than to do that.

I don't know when the time is or how long it is before the "trying" and "pretending" just "become" your new normal. And you don't have to pretend anymore...somewhere after or behind the pain and hurt... your metamorphasis begins and you're able to really live again. I don't know. I just don't know.

I'm sending loads of prayers for you guys and for all of us who are facing life without our loved ones.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ann,

I have been thinking about you cause I knew this day was coming. You will make it through. I am not saying it will be easy, but you will make it through. Just take it one day at a time.

I know on special days it is so hard to understand why they had to die, but they did. You cry your tears, you remember, and you go on.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Much love,

Shirleyb

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Ann,

My heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel. I felt totally alone today, and missed my husband so terribly. I miss being able to share things with him as you do with your husband. I know the pain of my Mom's death was healed with time, but then I was a child when she died. I wonder if the pain of losing one's partner will ever go away. I am trying very hard not to feel cheated, do you feel that way? I will be keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you comfort.

Paddy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all of your kind words, thoughts and prayers. The past week was absolutely terrible for me. On the 15th, I kept feeling as if I was just going to smother. There was such a "weight" on my chest and such a feeling of emptiness and lonliness. I must have replayed every single minute of that day over and over in my mind...at least a hundred times. I could "really" feel the same feeling I had when I realized Dennis was gone. I remembered the feeling I had when I realized, a few days after his death, that I would never see him again, in this life. I remembered how I yearned for those big strong arms to hold me and that sweet voice to assure me that everything was going to be alright, as he had done so many times during our 26 years together. I still don't understand why Dennis is gone. I still do not know what God's purpose was in taking him but I still wait to see that purpose unfold. On every Christmas morning, just before opening gifts, I always said a prayer, thanking God for our family and praying that we would always be together at Christmas time and asked God to keep us safe until the next Christmas. When I saif that prayer in 2001, I had not even the foggiest idea that Dennis would not be with us for Christmas 2002. God, this all hurts so bad. I am trying to move on with my life but life will never be the same. I feel so lost and alone, even in a crowd. I pray for all of my dear friends here that are missing their loved ones at Christmas.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.